November 2, 2009 / / Team News

We’re on the warpath yet again, ladies and gentleman, with another news roundup for your perusal.

Hopefully it's not quite like this
Hopefully it's not quite like this

-The biggest news, in my esteemed opinion, is that Dani Alves has been given medical clearance and should be fit to play against Rubin Kazan. Whether or not he’s fully recovered is not something I’m capable of saying, of course, but if he’s able to play without risk of further injury, I suggest putting him on the field at right back. Just a thought, of course, a tactical wrinkle I’ve developed completely on my own. I’m sure that he recovered faster than was originally considered possibly by playing all four parts in this video at once while sleeping. Read MoreNews of the day – November 1, 2009

November 1, 2009 / / Barcelona
October 31, 2009 / / La Liga
Um .... sorry 'bout that. No really .... so sorry.
Um .... sorry 'bout that. No really .... so sorry.

Yes, I want it huge. I want everyone to be able to return to this post, look at this picture and remember how it feels when we don’t play as a team, when we let a match that we should have won going away, slip away. Yes, it was a draw, but for me it feels like a loss. It certainly was celebrated like a win down in Osasuna, which is the story of the Barca life. A team will kill themselves just to draw with us, and we aren’t matching fire with fire.
Read MoreOsasuna 1, Barca 1, a.k.a. “Who actually wants to kiss their sister?”

October 31, 2009 / / Barcelona
October 30, 2009 / / La Liga

Liga Preview: Osasuna – Barça, 3pmEST Saturday, GolTV (check local times here)

Oh, why, hullo
Oh, why, hullo

I stood in a square, the streetlights illuminating the crowd, and looked upwards at the top of the tall fountain. A man had scaled the top and was yelling something to his friends below. My brother nudged me and pointed upwards. “Jerk is going to jump,” he said and I laughed. Not likely. He was 30 feet in the air above a smattering of drunk idiots and a whole mess of cobblestones that, given the opportunity, would split his skull like a pumpkin on Halloween. Or something.

Obviously he jumped. Read MoreOf Bulls and Fountain Diving: Osasuna – Barça

October 30, 2009 / / Team News
In case you were wondering who I am
In case you were wondering who I am

So Thierry Henry is the best player in the world right now? Well he is according to the Castrol FIFA Rankings system, a complicated edifice that involves enough numbers to make even Isaiah tremble in terror, voodoo, live chickens and a chipmunk. It doesn’t bother weighting all that stuff that we fans value, such as clutch performances, match-winning efforts, etc, etc.

And you throw all that stuff into a hat, fire up a supercomputer or two, and out comes a numerical ranking that rates the best players across the top 5 leagues in Europe.
Read MoreNot the News, a.k.a. “Surprise edition” UPDATE

October 28, 2009 / / Copa del Rey
Marti Fradera/REUTERS
Marti Fradera/REUTERS

If it’s another tight, sloppy match, it must be Pedro! Time. Anyone who wonders why his name carries the exclamation point need look no farther than today’s Copa del Rey opener, against a Cultural Leonesa side that really didn’t have much interest in the attack. Those thinking this would be a wide-open match as the Segunda minnows were buoyed by the giant killing yesterday, were to be bummed.
Read MoreCultural Leonesa 0, Barca 2, a.k.a. “The Pedro Show …. again.”

October 28, 2009 / / Copa del Rey
October 28, 2009 / / Team News
That's right. I make these stripes good good, baby!
That's right. I make these stripes good good, baby!

Yes, it’s early days, but our very own BANGS, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, is co-pichichi with Valencia’s David Villa. Each are on 7 goals. But did you also know that he was 4 of 4 with his shots vs Zaragoza, every last one of ’em being on target? This is very different from our performance against Rubin Kazan, in which some might have been buoyed by the fact that we had more than 20 shots, but I think you’ll find that their keeper will say that he had an easy night of it.

Which means what?

That our big Swede is making a liar out of some people.
Read MoreIt’s the News, Copa Edition

October 27, 2009 / / Copa del Rey

Copa del Rey Preview: Cultural Leonesa – Barça, Wednesday 5pmEST (check your local time here)

Update! Update! This match will take place at 5pmEST, not 4pm as previously stated! Damned time changes in Spain I didn’t know about…

Cathedral of León (Wikimedia)
Cathedral of León (Wikimedia)

In the year 68, an aging general named Servius Sulpicius Galba levied a legion and marched on Rome, where he took over the Roman Empire from Nero, the emperor who had appointed Galba as governor of Hispania Tarraconensis only seven years before.

Galba’s reign was brief and ended violently: he was murdered only six months after taking the throne and most have forgotten his name. The city he left behind on his way to Roman obscurity is alive and well, its legacy cemented in its architecture and its place in history secure.

Founded by Legio septima Gemina (Seventh Twin Legion), the legion Galba used to take the Roman throne, León sits in northern Spain, in the shadows of the Cantabrian Mountains along the northern coast. It is a relatively small city (metro pop 200,000), but it is packed with history and culture. Read MoreOnward Blaugrana Legions: Leonesa-Barça

October 26, 2009 / / Barcelona
Your Friendly La Liga Ref
Your Friendly La Liga Ref

This is Megia Davila, a La Liga referee… actually, the reigning La Liga referee of the year according to Marca. No, really. I am dead serious. Okay, maybe I exaggerated. This is a now ex-La Liga referee albeit one who only retired at the end of last season. It’s too good to be true right? No. It’s even better. He is the newest Real Madrid “fichaje” or signing, a “Referee Delegate” and he was gracious enough to grant Spain’s premier representative of journalistic integrity (Marca, duh) an exclusive interview. If this not enough vital journalistic information for you then Marca has also awarded what they humbly proclaim to be “La Liga’s Oscars”: the Pichichi, Zamora, Zarra, Miguel Munoz, and Guruceta awards.  Guess who won one? That’s right: the handsome devil in the above photo. It’s amazing. If you want more information vital to your intellectual, moral, and emotional development as human beings then click “Read More” and carry on.

Read MoreLate Night News: La Liga Ref of the Year Edition