Ladies and gentlemen of BFB welcome to one of those oh so rare Isaiah-less previews. Our dear valiant leader has left us for his annual sabbatical. A trek to a certain altar of insanity called March Madness where he err…watches a lot of basketball. Sixty four teams enter the NCAA Men’s Basketball tournament, only one leaves happy. In totally arbitrary and false statistical terms that would make Isaiah cry, this means that he has a 1 in 64 chance to come out exuberant and a 63 in 64 chance of ending up in a fetal position wailing in despair, a fate with which, being a University of Michigan alum, I am all too familiar with; having been subjected to it by Isaiah’s Buckeyes for the last six years no less. So, let’s hope our guy comes out happy. Thinking of you, the people, Isaiah wrote one of his literary master pieces i.e. previews with the intention of submitting it today. However, due to a horrible mishap, it got left behind and lost forever [not really] which means you fools now have to suffer the even worse fate of a preview written by me. So, enough basketball, let’s talk about our version of March Madness. The UEFA Champions League is back!

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What IS this thing?

Liga Preview: Barça-Valencia, Sunday 2pm ESPN2HD/ESPN360

I have a thing against teams represented by oranges. Bitter, horrible memories associated with 2003 and the Syracuse-Kansas NCAA Men’s Division 1 basketball tournament championship game are really what keeps my hatred rolling. And the thing is, I kind of like Valencia in that secondary team sort of way. They’re fun to watch, generally play an open, flowing game. But I hate them. They are orange, after all.

And sure, they’re associated with bats, which Kevin discussed before, but that association is just a sleight of hand: los che are oranges and we all know it. They’re also an incredibly dangerous team that drew us at zeroes when we visited the Mestalla earlier this season—and yes, I recognize how funny it is that, as I discuss their scoring prowess, two of the most dangerous teams in the Primera had a scoreless draw. Anyone who watched that match, though, should know that it was surprising that no one scored and especially surprising that Valencia didn’t score.

Despite Barça’s upcoming Wednesday date with Stuttgart, this match isn’t until Sunday because Valencia had a Europa League match with Werder Bremen yesterday (Thursday),* which necessitates a non-Saturday date. So hopefully the snow that has inundated Barcelona is gone by then or, at the very least, the Camp Nou field is in good enough condition to facilitate some serious pass-and-move triangles.

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Before we get started here, take the time, if you haven’t already, to check out the post about our new background design. We’re building a nice little collection, but please submit your photos  to bfbackground@gmail.com soon if you haven’t. Thanks!

Sport is a strange creature at times. It intermingles, interweaves, and, ultimately, lets you draw your own conclusions about destiny or coincidence. Take, for instance this man: he is from the northern reaches of Euskadi, more commonly known in English as Basque Country, and began his managing career at the age of 16. He rose quickly through the ranks to become the youngest ever first division manager in Spain at the age of 29 and then, ever-so-quickly became a journeyman manager, taking the occasional break to do broadcasting. He even ended up in Mexico for a year before returning to Spain. Take, then, this man: he is from the eastern coast of Spain, where he joined his hometown club, was spotted a man named Johan Cruyff, turned into one of the greatest midfielders in history, and became a hero to an entire region. His time at the club wound down quickly and he too became a journeyman of sorts, moving to Italy and Qatar before retiring.

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Dear Malaga,

Welcome to my home. You’re a thousand kilometers from your own warm and wonderful home, so please make yourselves as comfortable as possible here in the Ciudad Condal. I know you’re used to beaches and sun, but perhaps you’ll be able to enjoy yourself at our humble waterfront or in one of our many delectable dining venues throughout the Gothic quarter. Perhaps you will partake in a little bit of the nightlife later off Las Ramblas? Regardless of your personal tastes, there’s certainly something for you here. I’m sure we’ll get along just fine.

Wait, why are you angry? What have I don’t to disturb you? I apologize for whatever it was. I’m sorry to have offended you. Please calm down. Good, sir, I must protest! This is uncalled for. Please calm down. Let me just dribble through here real fast and we’ll get back to–why did you just do that? This is outrageous and now, sir, my friend, compatriot of the league, you must die. Release the BANGS!

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The Hlebian Ballet Company: Grace and Art Combined

CL Preview: Stuttgart – Barça, Tuesday 2:45pmEST, Fox Sports en Español/Fox Sports HD Affiliate

Seventy-seven. That number sounds big even when you don’t know what the units are. Put on days and you’re suddenly looking at over 2 months. Seventy-seven days since we last played Champions League football. Seventy-seven days since we beat Dynamo Kiev. In that time we’ve won the Club World Cup, recorded infinity plus one injuries*, and have lead the league by as many as 5 points. And now we return to the tournament that cemented us as the team to beat, as the media darlings of last year. Finally.

I’ve missed you, my twice-weekly previews, with your absurd taxing of my mental capabilities (they are rather small, after all) and your always welcome taxing of my liver capabilities. When there’s no on-the-field action to distract them it seems like the Spanish rags can’t get enough of shouting Cesc! Ribéry! Ochocinco! But now we have something to consider between now and Málaga’s visit on Saturday.

And, indeed, it’s a trip to Stuttgart, to southern Germany. The city itself is located in the state of Baden-Württemberg and is known primarily for its vroom-vroom car industry: Porsche is headquartered there and even stole the city’s coat of arms and adapted it to its own needs when it was founded in 1931 (along with some of the Württemberg coat of arms. Mercedes-Benz and its parent company, Daimler AG, are also based in Stuttgart while Bosch is located just outside of the city in Gerlingen.

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Liga Preview: Barça – Racing Santander, Saturday 2pmEST, GolTV

There will always be tough moments in a campaign, when things look dismal and darkened, the storm clouds seemingly gathering overhead to unleash hell. But let me ask you this: Did Lot’s wife ever falter in her step? Should Vizzini have been more prudent? Was Homer wrong to question the power of gravity over daredevilry? Er, right…ahem! Like Galileo questioning the foundations of science and faith, we too must forge ahead mercilessly in the face of criticism and misfortune, never release our hold on what we know to be true, and get false credit from future generations for throwing weighted stones off badly built towers.

So, yeah, basically I’m calling for Busi’s inclusion in the starting lineup. More on that later.

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The Ramparts, Alberta, Canada (Jim Catley)

Liga Preview: Atletico Madrid – Barça, Sunday 3pmEST, ESPN Deportes/ESPN360

We’re invading Madrid again. It’s been a while. Last time we came out 2-0 winners and before that, I’m sure there was something else that happened in the capital that was memorable. I don’t know what it was. No clue whatsoever. This time, though, we’re going in with a makeshift defense that is one part injured and one part suspended. And like three parts baby canteranos. Whatever. We beat Manchester United with a makeshift back line and we can beat an on-again off-again Atleti with a makeshift back line.

Still, missing Pique and Marquez (suspension) and Abidal, Alves, and Chygrynskiy (injury) and with Puyol still not 100% (though back to working out with the squad), we’re facing up against Kun Aguero and Diego Forlan with, um, Gabi Milito? Really? That guy is still around? And maybe Marc Muniesa, or Marc Bartra? Maxwell on the left, Puyol on the right? Puyol in the center and Maxwell on the right? Keita on the left? What the hell is going on? Last week we had too many defenders and now we don’t have enough?

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Creeeepyyyyy

Liga Preview: Barça – Getafe, Saturday 2pmEST, ESPN Deportes

Getafe. They of the Burger King shirts, of the “we’re tots second best in the capital now that Patetico sucks again”, of the inclination to drawing or beating the big boys. Welcome to our humble home, azulones. The last time we met, we ended up with a fairly lucky 0-2 victory with goals by Ibra and Messi. It was the second match of the year in La Liga and provided us with a measure of confidence ahead of our trip to Milan three days later for the first Champions League group stage match. It also catapulted us to the top of the league, where we have remained since, dominating most statistical categories and ever-so-slowly increasing our lead over Real Madrid.

Getafe are not one to do their Madrileño rivals a favor, but they’re in it for themselves first and foremost and with a European position on the line every time they take the field (they’re 3 points behind 6th-placed Depor and one point ahead of 8th placed Athletic Bilbao), they will not be taking this match off. They are looking, as always, to plunge their icy Morgul blades of reality into our backs in an attempt to keep us from running away with the title by mid March and to keep us on our toes, one horrible LotR reference at a time (see title for first one).

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How you like me now, eh? (Denis Doyle/Getty Images Europe)

Liga Preview: Sporting – Barça, Saturday 2pm EST, GolTV.

Well then. It feels like my last preview was three months ago, when it was only last Friday. It’s not just that my days are ridiculously long as I rise early and walk around Puebla and go to bed late after nights of hanging with friends–that is, of course, the idea of vacation: tire yourself out so that you need a vacation from a vacation–but it strikes me that life without Barça in midweek is like being in purgatory. Sure, it’s not that bad and you can, if you’re a CS Lewis style believer, just wander around in the rain looking at Napoleon and other famous faces as they pace back and forth in their mansions, but it still feels like an enormous amount of time between matches.*

As several of you have written to me personally, it’s hard to adjust to life without Our Beloved playing more than once every 7 days. Of course I want more Barça, but that’s because I’m an addict, like many of you and I’ve grown accustomed to my fix every three or four days; I realize full well that the rest the players are getting now by not being in the Copa del Rey is likely to help them in the Champions League when they would otherwise be playing on tired legs, but no matter, I just want to remain spoiled. Most of you have not been dutifully recording your second-half predictions, but you still can! Do it! Do it now!

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Liga Preview: Valladolid – Barça, Saturday 2pmEST, GolTV

If you haven’t, you should read the La Liga Prediction Challenge post and give it a whirl. And also listen to me podcasting my little patootie off. So then, to the preview…

I remember as a child wandering through a museum somewhere–I have no idea where at this point, since I was maybe 8 or 9 at the time–and the crown jewel of the Spanish history section was a massive altar setup that was from some town with a fairly unpronounceable name: Vah-la-doe-lid, once I figured out that it wasn’t, in fact, Vadalodilid or Valalidolad. My Spanish at the time was non-existent and now the grown-up me laughs at child me for being such a putz, but I was impressed with the woodwork in the altar.

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