April 2, 2015 / / Nonsense

Somewhere in a super-secret underground lair…

Josep Bartomeu Look, I can’t keep stalling things with my fantasies about being able to buy and store players. What are we going to do?

Toni Freixa Hey! Not the hair! Um, we could leave them at their clubs until we need them? They would like that, and it worked with that German kid.

Bartomeu But then we can’t have a party at the Camp Nou! I like parties!

Phone ringing

Freixa Do you know anyone named Kevin, JoJo? He says he can help us solve all our problems.
Read MoreBarçaVacations, the cure for the transfer ban blues

March 18, 2015 / / Nonsense

We’ve all been there before. The frustration, the hypocrisy, the never ending sense of ennui, the powerful urge to deactivate all social media accounts, throw out all technology in your possession and embrace life in the wilderness, the—

Wait. Maybe you’re not actually there yet. Maybe you’ve never been there.

(That’s possible, though such luck is typically unique in this day and age — unless you’re over the age of forty. Then again, there was Star Trek and Star Wars, so maybe that should be amended to over the age of ninety.)

In that case, let’s start from the beginning. Read MoreStages of Fandom

April 2, 2014 / / Nonsense

Been a while since we had one of these standard nonsense posts. Let’s see how it fairs, especially after the greatness that is SoMa. Read MoreFly on the Wall

March 22, 2014 / / Barcelona
December 31, 2013 / / Barcelona
November 26, 2013 / / Champions League
October 14, 2013 / / Barcelona

[ NOTE:  This post was drafted prior to Barça’s October 5th victory over Real Valladolid, when the boards were rather grumpy ’cause we were all … well, winning, and stuff. So if you’re bucked up rather than (what rhymes with “bucked up”?) lately, bookmark this and come back when we lose, or tie, or win again in a way that you don’t like. Psych! – Ed. ]

Read MoreEverybody cheer up!

September 26, 2013 / / Barcelona
June 30, 2013 / / Barcelona
May 22, 2013 / / Barcelona
April 23, 2013 / / Nonsense


Yeah, well, this sucks. I sucked. We all sucked, man. Major suck-o. God. No one wants autographs today, huh. No pictures with Mr. Number here, hey. Now we all have to get on the bus to go home. I hate the bus. It sucks. I’m a millionaire. How many millionaires you know ride the bus to work. Sandro so damn cheap he makes us punch a ticket every ride too. Damn, that sucks. Read MoreUn-magic Bus

March 4, 2013 / / Barcelona

It’s incredible. It’s appalling. We won’t know what to do until we understand what’s really going down. Everyone seems to be involved … is everyone to blame? It’s a real scandal.

I know everyone is feeling a little bummed lately. But there’s nothing like a good, old-fashioned Spanish scandal to buck you right up. Bad taste, you say? Italian scandals are bad taste (cf. “Berlusconi bunga-bunga party”). British scandals are seamy (hack, cough, hack hack), American scandals are cringe-worthy (cigar, anyone?) and French scandals … well, French scandals bore me. What’s the point of living a double-love life if everyone is going to be so well-behaved at the funeral? Haven’t these people ever seen one of their own comedies? Read MoreThe Third Method