This is how bad I want it....

As James Brown sang in the amazing “Mind Power,” You know, we’re dealing with a very critical and crucial time, the most critical and crucial time that I’ve ever witnessed …. the educators, they call it ESP, positive thinking right? Some of the people over there on the other side of the pond call it mind vibrations. But I call it what it is is what it is.

So what your mind does is, it tells you things, even though you don’t want to listen to it. If you’re the mighty FC Barcelona, kings of all you survey, your mind is telling you “Dude. Chill. What have these guys scored, like 4 goals or something? We got this. Just relax.”

If you’re bottom-feeding Xerez, what your mind is saying is “You can make history today, if you find more than you think you have, more than you will ever have again. Be mighty. Now get to work.”
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Watch it on ESPN2 or ESPN Deportes at 4pmEST/1pmPST and stop in for a mega-awesome liveblog:

TV details updated!
Liga Preview: Xerez – Barça, Wednesday 4pmEST, ESPN2 and ESPN Deportes (check your local time)

Off to Andalusia we role, the land of Moorish influence, of packed beaches, and brilliant sun. I hope Don Andres remembers his sunscreen. And yeah, I know it’s a night game, but come on, he’s called Ghostface for multiple reasons. The city of Jerez de la Frontera (pop 205,000+) is situated just northeast of Cadiz, close to the coast, but not on it. It is apparently known for its sherry (jerez in Spanish), but I know it more as the home of the team I used to play in FIFA06, back when you couldn’t just choose what team you wanted to manage in Season mode. I took little Xerez CD from the basement of the Segunda to the thrilling heights of the Champions League trophy in just 3 short seasons and snobby FC Barcelona still wouldn’t hire me. So I quit that stupid game.*

The name Xerez comes from the Arabic name for Jerez; Wikipedia is incomplete on the history of the city, so I can only surmise that it was the Moors who founded the city, which later added “de la Frontera” to its name when it came under Christian/Castilian control before the Reconquista made it not near a frontier. For whatever reason, Jerez CD became known as Xerez CD in the 1960s and the name has stuck. Continue Reading

You Shall Not Pass (Francesc Adelantado)

Yesssssssssss. I’m elated. I’m not sure exactly what to say, how to put voice to this feeling, but it’s something akin to screaming Yesssssssssss for a prolonged period of time. I also want to hug Puyol and tell him that he’s a beast of epic proportions. I don’t know how the rest of that conversation would go, but wouldn’t that be so awesome, even if his next move was to karate chop me into oblivion for touching him?

He was immense. A mountain of flying hair and deadly tackling, a fiery bronco looking to trample madridista hearts. He saved our bacon time and again, sliding in to save the day and make Crynaldo sob. If I were in the habit of giving out Man of the Match awards, I’d consider him for it, but instead of trapping myself with that label, I’ll go with this: Caveman of the Match is…drum roll please…Carles Puyol i Saforcada! Congratulations, Captain!

Where to start with the actual review? Why not with the goal: Continue Reading

Do it and do it wild style:

El Clásico Preview: FC Barcelona – Real Madrid, Sunday 1pmEST, GolTV and ESPN Deportes

I’m not good at this part: previewing El Clásico. I get so riled up, so intensely partisan that it’s hard to write coherent sentences that make big net fill. See? But I’m here to work past my personal failings, to try to give you the preview you deserve. This is, after all, the one game worth previewing every year. So here goes: El clàssic, in Ultra High Definition, Isaiah Style. Continue Reading

Keita says it all, eh? (fcbarcelona.cat)

I hate being right sometimes. I don’t mind being second int he league, but I mind a lot being second in the league to That Other Team. I’m not too concerned, of course, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves and forget that every game is important from here on out. Take nothing for granted: not trips to San Mamés, not hosting Xerez. Nothing. Ever.

Yet sometimes you can see these things coming. Off a tough international break that put us down a few options in all three zones (offense, midfield, defense) we were more vulnerable than we have been for a while. And Athletic knew that and played us defensively, working for the counterattack. They got one and it’s hard to fault them for coming out to play the only way they thought they could win. They were there when we won the Super Copa and they saw what playing from behind against us can do to a team. So kudos to them. Continue Reading

Welcome to the liveblog, folks. Have at it:

Liga Preview: Athletic Bilbao – Barça, Saturday 4pmEST, GolTV (check local times here)

Lioness in Tanzania, summer 2009

Don’t look now, but there are lions approaching. Hush, we don’t want to startle them. You see, they’re mainly nocturnal animals and we don’t need to distract them from their hunt just yet, before we’ve got the drop on them. No, I’m not kidding, they’re big, strong, have sharp teeth, and aren’t afraid of anyone or anything. Not even Captain Tarzan–I know it sounds crazy! But it’s true.

And don’t forget that we’re going into their lair. Back a wounded animal into a corner and it’ll come at you a hundred times more fiercely than otherwise. Those are some true words, buddy, I’m telling you. I’ve seen them devouring a wildebeast from 20 yards. No, really, I have. Crunching of bone, tearing of flesh, all that: real. I don’t like the idea of being put into a cage with one of those guys when they’re hungry. Come to think of it, I don’t like that idea even if they’re fully fed. Did you know a fully grown male can weigh more than 550lbs (250kg)? That’s two NFL offensive linemen. Two. Or one Refrigerator Perry, I guess. Continue Reading

So, here is our list of the knocked, or potentially knocked: Ibrahimovic, Puyol (sorta), Abidal, Keita, Txigrinski (sorta). This kind of sucks, given that two giNORMOUS matches loom in the coming week.

So what can we do to top that? I know, let’s add some H1N1 to the party. Why not? Abidal has been diagnosed with the mis-nomered “swine flu,” and The Yaya is suspected to have also contracted it. Now, “la gripe” is no biggie if properly treated, but you can rest assured that part of the medical plan for getting over it is not “Go play a crucial football match.”

Augggh!
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