Ri-FI-FA!

On May 20, 2015, US Attorney General Loretta E. Lynch declared charges against fourteen FIFA officials, media managers and marketing executives, while federal and interpol agents swooped down upon organizational hubs from Miami to Zurich. Admist the scandal, Sepp Blatter has resigned as president of the organization, mere days after his re-election. My fellow Americans,… Continue reading Ri-FI-FA!

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Calling all stars …

Buenos días, B’Foobers! It’s been a while, huh? I’ve been busy pursuing an imaginary career in radio broadcasting. It’s something I just do, you know, while I’m on the road. The side of the road. When the road is under construction. Anyway, there I was, wondering what happened to all the attractive ‘flag ladies’ when… Continue reading Calling all stars …

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World Cup Rules! Part II: The Venue

The World Cup nears its full samba-swing. As the group stage concludes, Spain (this year’s France!), Italy (this year’s Spain!), and England (this year’s Italy!) have been ushered out as Costa Rica (this year’s Paraguay!) steps into the spotlight. And you have invited an Average American and Andrés Iniesta (a little heartless of you, but Andy could probably use a night… Continue reading World Cup Rules! Part II: The Venue

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Qué será, será …

How one feels after a match has nothing to do with what happens during the match and everything to do with what one thought before the match. Say three guys are sitting in a bar aprés loss: “I never thought we could win silver,” says the first. “But I’m grateful for the run.” “I didn’t… Continue reading Qué será, será …

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Epic

  When the gods want to punish you, the saying goes, they answer your prayers — and the Gods of Football have, of late, been especially punitive. Looking to draw a soft penalty to finish off the clásico and the league along with it? Why, here’s three! (You take one, and your archrival will take… Continue reading Epic

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Get Your Ta Tas Out, Vol. 3: Compare & Contrast

  The Managers:           Current club Bayern München FC Barcelona España Chelsea FC   Once and future king of  FC Barcelona Newell’s Old Boys España FC Porto   FC Barcelona connection  Player (90-01), Coach (08-12) Coach (2013-) Poacher (2008-) Assistant coach (96-00)   Coaching style Tiki to the power of taka Tiki… Continue reading Get Your Ta Tas Out, Vol. 3: Compare & Contrast

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Get Your Ta Tas Out, Vol. 2: The Unbearable Lightness of Being Normal

[Part II of an occasional series in which barely background-checked, community-center soccer coach SoMa provides a managerial perspective on Gerardo “Ta Ta” Martino and why he gotta be all like that. -Ed.] As one of your media correspondents on all things fútbol, SoMa watches a lot of Spanish television. And while searching for an old… Continue reading Get Your Ta Tas Out, Vol. 2: The Unbearable Lightness of Being Normal

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Get Your Ta Tas Out, Vol. I: The Man in the Pistachio Polo

While BFB readers are the most informed, insightful, and (surely) attractive in the whole World Wide Web, Gerardo Martino’s appointment as FCB’s new coach this August took many of us by surprise. However, your humble SoMa, who successfully led the Cheeseburg Lil’ Kickers to a 1-5 season this Fall (ba-bam!), is uniquely qualified to appraise… Continue reading Get Your Ta Tas Out, Vol. I: The Man in the Pistachio Polo

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Everybody cheer up!

[ NOTE:  This post was drafted prior to Barça’s October 5th victory over Real Valladolid, when the boards were rather grumpy ’cause we were all … well, winning, and stuff. So if you’re bucked up rather than (what rhymes with “bucked up”?) lately, bookmark this and come back when we lose, or tie, or win again… Continue reading Everybody cheer up!