These Posts are by:

Kxevin

October 20, 2009 / / Team News

In the wake of a series of fascinating recent matches in which opponents have essentially tried to kick us off the pitch, it’s interesting that we can look to the rough-and-tumble Premiership, to show us how it’s done:

–In Spurs v Portsmouth, Jermain Defoe steps on a downed defender who had just given him a hard challenge. Straight red, no debate, no argument.

–In the Liverpool/Villa match, the ref who allowed the “beach ball” goal, Mike Jones, will be officiating in the Championship next match weekend. Yes, refs can be relegated for poor decision-making, and frankly, should be.

Contrast that with the stiff-lipped gits who run the Liga, who decided that the dimwit who let Weligton kick, swing at and stomp his way though that Maulaga match, is all good in the hood. It was a shameful display then and it’s even more shameful now, in light of what I think any Liga devotee would say was a “no blood, no foul” league, cracking down on behavior that might injure a player, while also making sure that bad officiating does indeed get its just desserts.

Not that the aforementioned two decisions will do anything at all to make the Liga stop being run like a local indoor league, that doesn’t care if anyone shoves their way into the 127-person capacity gym to watch the matches.

That “hee haw” sound you hear is jackasses, braying en Espanol.
Read MoreMatch day news, Barca edition

October 17, 2009 / / La Liga
I have some vexing to do.
I have some vexing to do.

Did anyone know that bats are the only flying mammal?

I know, right? We all figured that all they did was give us the willies, flitting around church spires in small European towns, screeching and entangling themselves in hair and whatnot. But no. They pollinate, disperse fruit seeds and do all kinds of good things.

But bats also do baaaad things, such as get knee-deep in your ass, keep you on your heels and make you rely on superhuman efforts from your mop-topped captain and a goal keeper who I don’t want to hear anyone give shit to this season. Period, full stop.
Read MoreValencia 0, Barca 0, a.k.a. “I HATE bats!”

October 11, 2009 / / Thoughts
Tot el camp! (Clap! Clap! Clap!) Es un clam! (Clap! Clap! Clap!)
Tot el camp! (Clap! Clap! Clap!) Es un clam! (Clap! Clap! Clap!)

Have you seen the FC Barcelona home pitch from this vantage point? Shame on you, scoff some people. Have you seen the Camp Nou from any vantage point? Double shame on you, say some people. How can you be a fan if you haven’t even been to a match?

But I’m calling nonsense on that one. Pure, unadulterated bovine bollocks.
Read MoreWhat it means to be a fan, a.k.a. “Camp Nou, here I come …. NOT!”

October 11, 2009 / / Injuries
Aw, man! Not again!
Aw, man! Not again!

I can’t sleep, so rather than vexing my damsel with my tossing and turning, why not bang out a news report, in the wake of a busy day of World Cup qualifiers.

And guess who got whacked in the Spain/Armenia match? You guessed it; Andres Iniesta, the guy who must have gotten Gabi Milito’s injury luck. He took a whack to the exact same area that was already injured thrice over, and recovering very nicely, until Del Bosque decided “Hey, let’s see if I can totally hose over Barcelona’s chances for a successful season. If I can get their guys hurt, they’ll be available for training camp and stuff, all nice and early. Bet.”
Read MoreThe Morning News, wakey-wakey edition

October 3, 2009 / / La Liga
So. Happy. Right. Now!
So. Happy. Right. Now!

Wow. What a golazo! That it was the only goal wasn’t really surprising when you watched the match for more than 10 minutes, as Hugo Sanchez unveiled a new formation, the 0-10-0, in an effort to keep us from scoring, shamefully playing for a draw at the Camp Nou.

Thankfully, the footy gods brought us the new, calm Pedro!, who spun and smoked a shot into the far upper 90, that was astonishing. Maxwell will get credit for the assist, but it’s a gift because that goal was all P!.
Read MoreBarca 1, Almeria 0, a.k.a. “Wallowing in it.”

October 3, 2009 / / Thoughts
Get me some more players! Now!
Get me some more players! Now!

As Gordon Gekko said in the movie “Wall Street,” “Greed is good.”

But is it? And what kind of greed are we talking about here?

We all know that the Big Two Liga clubs, Barcelona and the Evil Empire, have started the season perfect. Both clubs have also won pretty easily (if you look at the scorelines), while not at their best. Players are still learning each other, there are various injuries to contend with, etc, etc. Some matches they’ve been sleepwalking, others have been at half-speed.

And yet, 5-0 for the both of ’em. Is this good?
Read MoreAre we good for La Liga?

September 30, 2009 / / Champions League
Come, and I shall lead ye....
Come, and I shall lead ye....

Well, now. Not sure what to say about that one. Actually, I do:

Elegant, workmanlike and except for two Keystone Kops moments, drama-free. Dinamo Kyiv rolled into the Camp Nou, full of the same quotes that have been buttressing the hopes of every club we’ve played so far this season, stuff like “Well, we’re going in to win,” “Barca can be beaten, blah, blah, blah.” And perhaps we can, but you aren’t going to win it by setting up shop in your own end, kicking at every ball and player that comes near you.

I’m not a footballing genius, but I know that much.
Read MoreBarca 2, Dinamo Kyiv 0, a.k.a. “Man the ramparts!”

September 29, 2009 / / Team News