The boys in red and blue–the ones from across yonder, from the peninsular home of paella–are finishing up their Audi Cup tour, facing off today against Bayern Munich (Wednesday, 8:30pm local, 2:30pm EST), and then they’re hopping on a (Turkish) jetplane bound for the wild, wild West. Or at least Washington DC, Miami, and finally the actual, well, almost actual west: Dallas.
I suppose I can’t complain too much that they’re not coming to New York since they were just here a couple of years ago, but I want to complain about it. Though if I were still living in the Cleveland area, I’d complain about them not playing the Indians or something. They might even win! So take my nattering (mostly on Twitter over the next week) with a grain of salt. Like you already take everything I say. Ingrate.
The interesting thing about this particular tour of the US is that the team is playing exactly zero American teams. An English club and 2 Mexican clubs make up the schedule and the latter two in predominately Hispanic cities. It says something–though I’m not sure what–that a team can visit a foreign country and play none of the local teams yet sell out their tour or at least get close. Not that I care to watch Barça massacre the Portland Timbers (because Seattle can’t have all the fun).
Yes, it’s time to do ye olde Champions League final remix. I expect T-Pain to be all over this. And I expect Chicharito to get booed by all of the USA fans, just like in the Gold Cup and–oh, there were no USA fans at the Gold Cup final? Those weren’t boos, just CHICHAROOOOOOOOOOOOOO into vuvuzelas? Goddammit.
Game: Landover, Maryland, July 30.
I like stripes on shirts. I really do. And Chivas has a lot of them. They’re no Puebla de mi vida, though. La Franja forever! DaMarcus Beasley in tha houuuuse. Undefeated in the league, fools. Sure, just one game in, but whatever, it was in Guadalajara against Atlas and it was an amazing game. Packed house. I watched it like I watch every Puebla game. What’s that? You think everything I just said was not true and you’d like me to talk about Chivas? Too bad!
Game: Miami, Florida, August 4.
Prediction: 2-0, Barça.
Televisa vs TV3
Look. Telerisa is just some schmucky podunk channel that TV3 would mop up with one of the discarded Crackovia Puyol wigs and that they own Club America just proves that the Augilas are in for a torrid time at the hands of the greatest show on earth. [/does internet research] Televisa has $4.7billion in yearly revenue? What the [earmuffs!]?
Game: Dallas, August 6.
Prediction: 3-1, Barça.