La Gira Americana part…again.

The boys in red and blue–the ones from across yonder, from the peninsular home of paella–are finishing up their Audi Cup tour, facing off today against Bayern Munich (Wednesday, 8:30pm local, 2:30pm EST), and then they’re hopping on a (Turkish) jetplane bound for the wild, wild West. Or at least Washington DC, Miami, and finally the actual, well, almost actual west: Dallas.

I suppose I can’t complain too much that they’re not coming to New York since they were just here a couple of years ago, but I want to complain about it. Though if I were still living in the Cleveland area, I’d complain about them not playing the Indians or something. They might even win! So take my nattering (mostly on Twitter over the next week) with a grain of salt. Like you already take everything I say. Ingrate.

The interesting thing about this particular tour of the US is that the team is playing exactly zero American teams. An English club and 2 Mexican clubs make up the schedule and the latter two in predominately Hispanic cities. It says something–though I’m not sure what–that a team can visit a foreign country and play none of the local teams yet sell out their tour or at least get close. Not that I care to watch Barça massacre the Portland Timbers (because Seattle can’t have all the fun).

Rematch Time

Yes, it’s time to do ye olde Champions League final remix. I expect T-Pain to be all over this. And I expect Chicharito to get booed by all of the USA fans, just like in the Gold Cup and–oh, there were no USA fans at the Gold Cup final? Those weren’t boos, just CHICHAROOOOOOOOOOOOOO into vuvuzelas? Goddammit.

Game: Landover, Maryland, July 30.
Prediction: 2-2.

Goats

I like stripes on shirts. I really do. And Chivas has a lot of them. They’re no Puebla de mi vida, though. La Franja forever! DaMarcus Beasley in tha houuuuse. Undefeated in the league, fools. Sure, just one game in, but whatever, it was in Guadalajara against Atlas and it was an amazing game. Packed house. I watched it like I watch every Puebla game. What’s that? You think everything I just said was not true and you’d like me to talk about Chivas? Too bad!

Game: Miami, Florida, August 4.
Prediction: 2-0, Barça.

Televisa vs TV3

Look. Telerisa is just some schmucky podunk channel that TV3 would mop up with one of the discarded Crackovia Puyol wigs and that they own Club America just proves that the Augilas are in for a torrid time at the hands of the greatest show on earth. [/does internet research] Televisa has $4.7billion in yearly revenue? What the [earmuffs!]?

Game: Dallas, August 6.
Prediction: 3-1, Barça.

Published
Categorized as Preseason

By Isaiah

Isaiah is a co-founder and lead writer for Barcelona Football Blog. He currently lives in the greater Philadelphia area.

57 comments

    1. Both of them are jsut great! I saw that too last night.
      BUt why wasn’t the whole team there? It was a pretty bad sight. As if they didn’t care about the CUP

  1. I love your last post Isaiah. Hilarious.

    Did you guys watch Milan vs. Internacional PK shoot-out?
    Milan is worse than Ajax and the Dutch team in the 90’s!!

    Where is Rafa Alcantara?

  2. Kun Aguero has signed for Manchester City – great news for us that he didn’t sign for EE…

    1. I am happy about that too and another.
      We can sign him once he struggles at City.

  3. What Judas said, I am very happy about our overall summer signings now. I said I’d be happy if a) we get reinforcements, b) EE don’t get Aguero. Both happened, with Sanchez coming and the attacking depth issue majorly dealt with.

    Fun to see The Sun has already made up a fake interview supposedly quoting Aguero saying he was the Che Guevara of football and would define a new era causing a revolution in football, etc. Nice Welcome to England present for Kun.

    1. Me too!

      I read that a club offered Porto 80mills for Hulk.
      That went under the radar if it is true.

  4. “Dani_el says:
    July 28, 2011 at 1:09 am
    Awesome goal, but I don’t.
    That game ended for flamengo, because of the non pressure of the first line of attackers. He has great technique, but I dont think (unless he begins to defend better and be a team player) he’s Barça material.”

    re: Neymar

    Did you watch the match? Neymar may not pressure Barcelona style levels, he’s not required to. It’s not the Brazilian way and he’s probably not encouraged to, but he definitely does some tracking down. Neymar was tracking players down still in the 90th..I find this a misconception of Neymar’s game.

    1. I guess you watch him a lot. I’ve seen him play 3 times to be exact, in a full match for Santos. I didn’t see him tracking down any player. Ever.
      But then again, I’ve only seen 3 matches.

    2. I’ve seen him a few times, with Santos that game, with Brazil, and with Brazil’s national team under 20 live in Arequipa, Peru. That time I saw him the entire game, and I could follow him, because it’s different seeing him on Tv, from what I saw, he doesnt track back, or press defensively, he enjoys trying to make an individual play against 3 or 4 players, and when he loses the ball (and he often did) he gets upset and starts yelling the referee or a teammate, so he loses time instead of tacking back a defensive position, or trying to get the ball back, I realize he’s talented, I just don’t like his attitude, he’s more a cristiano ronaldo, and that’s valid, but I dont enjoy players like that. It’s a personal opinion obviously.

  5. So the reason I haven’t heard of Isaac Cuenta before is that he was on loan last season to CE Sabadell, playing in the Segunda B division. Apparently he was quite good for them and was a major player in their campaign to win promotion to the Segunda A. He sure did look lively yesterday, and Pep seems to rate him, so I look forward to seeing more of him this season. In the meantime, I hope someone feeds him a sandwich and a pastry or seven. Boy needs fattening up!

    1. I liked him too. I thought that he looked confident and knew what he is doing.

      Is Carmona going to the US? Why is he getting minuets? Aren’t there better players than him that is available?

    2. Yes, Carmona is on the US tour. There are better players, but they are off with the national teams at the moment.

  6. @barca96 i didn’t watch the shootout but please tell me clarence seedorf didn’t take one! (the legend of his career is only matched by the legend of his penalty misses!)

    1. hahaha well at least Davids never, EVER, wanted to take another penalty again after missing against Juve…Seedorf just kept on going and going and going LOL

  7. Wow. Spain U19 concedes 3 silly goals.
    Own goal. GK dropped the ball. Defender didn’t time his header.

    1. The commentator said that he is a “hit or miss player.
      I do agree with him though. He is similar to Quaresma and maybe Jeffren.

      At youth levels it is easy to look good playing that way but not at pro level where there is more discipline (the defenders). Messi made it but he is a rare exception.

  8. the game in Miami against Chivas is actually on Wednesday the 3rd. don’t know what the Barça website is about, i think they’re using another time format.

  9. Guys, check out this realtor agency. The founder definitely is a Man U fan 😆

    I used to dream to make my company logo similar to Barca’s crest but I always thought that it would be unprofessional.

  10. Tw Puyol: “We’re already in Washington. You can ask Pique what happened to him during the flight… Ooohhh!!! Moc moc”

    I wonder what they did…
    Cesc can’t be in the same flight can’t he?

  11. Have you guys seen this video about Pep?
    Seduits per Pep,1de3

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBvhp3k7KQI&feature=related

    Watch this part from 10.16m.
    They were at the training ground.
    I suspect it is the 1st training session of the new season (last).

    Villa was talking with Pep then Xavi came to shake Pep’s hand, Villa uncomfortably moves a step back, then VV came and shake Pep’s hand, Villa again, looks bemused and took a step back.
    And then Busi also came..Now, look at Villa’s face.
    He looks like he has no idea what is going on 😆
    It is hilarious. I’ve been repeating it at least 5 times.

    1. That is an awesome video – enjoyed it a lot. Thanks for sharing.
      That handshake is a funny moment.

  12. This is the quote from Pep after the game, now can anybody tell me WHAT THE HECK DOES HE MEAN BY “THIAGO’S BEHAVIOR”? What did Thiago do on or off the field to deserve his behavior being mentioned like that?

    “Thiago ha jugado muy bien. Estoy muy contento por él. Más allá de su comportamiento es un chico extraordinario, es competitivo y como habéis visto juega muy bien a fútbol. Es una suerte que nos haya salido otro chico de la cantera. Ha estado brillante no sólo por los goles sino también por acciones defensivas”

    I can’t figure out if it was said in a negative or positive way. AS is interpreting it as if Pep dissed Thiago and are as always As is stirring sh*t up… But still…

    1. It’s not a diss. He is saying that Thiago not only behaves well (on and off the field), but he is also an extraordinary person.

    2. uh-huh, sounds positive to me. he would not say apart from his behavior he is an extraordinary kid now, would he? It is more like “besides his behavior he is also an extraordinary….etc etc etc”

      I am…..99% sure of it :p

  13. It depends on the question he was asked. He could either be saying Thiago is an amazing kid or he could be saying he has an attitude problem but has exceptional talent. I’m going with the former…like you said AS likes to stir the pot(as do all media).

  14. Barca96 re 1United Realtor: HAHAHAHAHA I opened that link and okay I was expecting maybe a red colored sign or something but the logo is identical which was pretty funny

    Barca96 re hit or miss player: Who is the hit or miss player you mentioned?

    Mila: Long time

    Olufestus: Hahaha Sanchez made the- gasp- horrifying action of showing up to the meeting wearing a white shirt! Oh dear clearly this is a Freudian slip showing he actually wants to play for M****d! We’re definitely gonna lose all the competitions due to sneakily timed sabotage by Alexis.

  15. “If Real Madrid or Barcelona don’t make an offer, Valencia attacker Juan Mata (23) prefers to join Arsenal. Valencia ask 23M.”
    from Barcastuff.

    It may mean as well…yes,yes..for 40 mil a benchwarmer to Barcelona.

    1. I’m picturing him giving press conferences while wearing a cape and referring to himself in the third person.

    2. um…yeah…it would be interesting to say the least…sure, why not…I’m trying to be agreeable here but it’s not working…

      BB gone. Neither loved nor hated the guy. The change of coach isn’t gonna make us a world soccer powerhouse. It isn’t gonna change the fact that we can’t scrape together a reasonably sound back four. At best, maybe a new coach could change the style a little. And I’d love for us to be able to keep posession for more than 3 passes, but without the talent pool there’s little hope for my country in this sport. The best of the US’s athletes go into basketball or football(American) where the money/prestige is. Thus it has been, and thus it shall always be until the USA falls in love with this crazy sport like the few proud Americans on this blog have uncharacteristically done. Sigh…

    3. Oh, I think it could do quite a bit. It was Bradley’s insistence on using Clarke that had us go down a goal most every game in the WC. He also has an aversion to small, technical players, which ruled out Torres and for a long time, Adu.

      Granted, a new coach won’t be an instant cure-all, but I have hopes that we can at least make the best use of the talent we do have available!

    4. I remember reading Mourinho wanted to manage the USMNT someday. Why wait? It’s made for Hollywood.

    5. ¿Por qué? I do not know if it is because of Mexico’s relationship with Nike or its delicious burritos… ¿Por qué? ¿Por qué?

    6. I would actually love to see how Mourinho does with a team that does not cost $500M +

    7. you are right, he did very well with Porto. But that CL was just weird – the only strong team he played was Man U and he needed the ref to beat them. Actually remember him needing the ref against deportivo as well

    8. He needed the ref in the semi-final to beat Deportivo as well. Here is the red card Andrade received for “kicking” his friend Deco (they really are friends), now compare that to the red that Pepe received, then marvel at the hypocrisy of Mourinho’s “I won the CL clean” comments.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIiYofAAQTc

    9. Eh, if Mourinho wants to manage the Maldivian national team when he’s old and enjoy a nice vacation in the sun and sand, I’d still be excited. Country before hating even the most unlikable dickwads.

      I was so proud when we held Iran to only winning 1-0 in the second leg of the World Cup qualifiers last night… *sniff*

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