Things I Know Nothing About

A quick list of all the things I know nothing about in the world:

Star Trek
The rules of rugby
Where Carmen Sandiego is
Why people are that distressed by Depor’s relegation
How to dance
The rules of cricket
How there are so many damned dishes even though we haven’t cooked in 4 days and I swear I did them.
Who Josรฉ รngel is

And there you go, folks.

Categorized as Nonsense

By Isaiah

Isaiah is a co-founder and lead writer for Barcelona Football Blog. He currently lives in the greater New York City area with his wife and daughter.


  1. EE had this awesome curse at Riazor, it ended with Pellegrini (That jerk) but I was kind of hoping they’d lose there again. Thats kinda why Im sad for them.

  2. Yeah, I’ve never heard of Jose Angel either. Nor did I care about Deportivo dropping. Guardado or no Guardado.

  3. It’s being reported that Jose Angel is going to cost 4M and that one of Bartra, Muniesa or Fontas is going to go to Gijon.

    It’s difficult to know what impact this move is going to have on the team and what they do this summer.

    We know Pep likes small squads. But this year the club really pushed the small squad issue to the brink. The team looked exhausted and to play the biggest matches of the year with Masch at CB when he has no experience at the position and Puyol at LB who has limited experience there and has been injured all season is just not something you want to do again.

    And Pep this season has talked about needing more players mentioning the minutes the team has racked up and the coming European qualifiers. There really is no rest period in football anymore for squads made up of players from around the world.

    And this was after Barca rain out of defenders at the end of the prior two years as well.

    There’s a lot of depth in the youth ranks in defense but it’s primarily at CB and those players are still several years away from being able to take on serious responsibility. And there really isn’t any clear cut young player to take over LB.

    Fontas is ready to contribute next season. But Bartra, Muniesa, etc. really aren’t. And even with Fontas – he is still going to have a major adjustment to make as was evident even against Malaga (and that was without Baptista playing).

    One of the concerns that has to come up with Fontas is that his game is so much like Pique’s. And unfortunately he has the same limitation Pique does – pace. I don’t think you can play them together at CB with the high back line and FB’s pushed so forward.

    From what I’ve seen of Angel I really like him. He’s a promising young player. That said – Gijon played a very defensive game this season and often sat back to play on the counter. It’s going to be a huge transition for Angel.

    If Angel comes in and then Maxwell leaves however the team really hasn’t addressed the issue of depth at the back.

    Abidal will likely play a great deal at CB next season with Adriano at the left. It’s difficult to know how much they will be able to count on Puyol for minutes. He can play in big matches but he’s not going to be able to take a heavy load.

    They are going to need to get another CB – one with pace who can be paired with Pique.

    If they are only paying 4M for a back up LB that should still give them the resources to sign a high quality striker like a Rossi or Sanchez while also spending for a CB.

    I watched Sakho play again this weekend. He’s really good. Really good. I think he would be an outstanding addition. And he would make a potentially great partnership with Pique. Pique could be the more ball playing CB as he is now with Sakho being the cover CB. He’s well worth 15M or so.

    The club needs to address the issue of depth. I’m very concerned about their defense. I hope they are starting that process now.

    1. I watched Sakho play again this weekend. Heโ€™s really good. Really good. I think he would be an outstanding addition. And he would make a potentially great partnership with Pique. Pique could be the more ball playing CB as he is now with Sakho being the cover CB. Heโ€™s well worth 15M or so.

      The club needs to address the issue of depth. Iโ€™m very concerned about their defense. I hope they are starting that process now.

      Completely agree. Even if we sign Jose Angel, we still must sign a CB. Sakho is that guy. CBs with his characteristics are getting harder to come by. I’m sure he could be had for around 15m or so.

      Pep knows we need a CB with pace. Who else is really on the market for an affordable price? I can’t really think of anyone who wouldn’t cost 30 plus.

      This Jose Angel signing has come out of nowhere. This makes me feel like the club is doing more secretive deals like this and hopefelly Sakho is one of them.

    2. I also watched the PSG game this weekend just to watch Sakho play again, thought he would be a good fit as well. I hope we are looking at him seriously, and can work some kind of a deal of interest. Problem is, I think prices inflate when Barca’s interested.

  4. Jnice’s comment gave me an idea. Wouldn’t it be cool to have a BFB Fifa league? (ON XBOX OK!) I for one, would love to play with you guys!

    1. Sure, let’s set that up. I rarely play online but I don’t have a problem with you’uns beating up on each other.

    2. It would be a whole lot of Barcelona v Barcelona. Also. I have no desire to play against Jnice again. I knew I was bad… but… Jnice let me know just how much so…

    3. I just need someone to lend me a freakin’ xBox, I’m sure I can beat this guy!!!

    4. Sounds like fun! I would have to upgrade my Fifa 10 tho… Fifa 12 should be out somewhat soonish, right?

    5. Add meh! lahanoor on xbox live! I don’t play a lot, but i still love the game. Also, I wouldn’t mind playing Arsenal if people have a problem with Barca vs Barca games.

      So excited!

  5. I wasn’t going to say anything out of respect for the superstitious among us but then I read this list.

    So like last night we finally got around to seeing the movie that Pep put on the bus winding ’round the volcano or wherever last Champions season. “Invictus”, right? And then right after apparently he made the team watch “Gladiator” … maybe because it’s like about Roman times and “Invictus” sounds Roman too? Or maybe because it’s about the Spaniard and they’re kind of sort of Spaniards? Or something?

    Anyhoo, I can say that after really a long long time watching this movie all about rugby and how vitally important is rugby with superduper matches portrayed either in real time or in super-slo mo with only an occasional cutaway to someone black cheering or someone white cheering or some black and white people cheering, this is what I gleaned from Pep’s cinematic inspiration:

    a) Morgan Freeman lays a good line on the ladies.

    b) It is very hard to listen to Matt Damon without hearing Matt Damon say “Maaaatt Daaaamon” in “Team America” over and over. It is then hard to not say “Maaatt Daaaamon” like “Matt Damon” in “Team America” every time Matt Damon comes on screen.

    c) Maybe the Maori pre-match ritual dance is a good idea. But maybe instead of trying to get Xavi and Iniesta to look all fierce and hulky they should perform some kind of traditional Catalan dance, where they climb up a human tower or something.

    d) In movies sports close-ups involve macho men heaving and sweating and saying ‘umph’. On GolTV these kinds of close-ups involve macho men blowing boogers out their nostril with one knuckle.

    e) What the *&%$#@ is rugby about?!?!?!?

    The best losers-make-good sports movie remains “Bull Durham”.

    I mean William Blake!

    1. If the FA can do something about undies matching the kits, can’t it do something about the blowing of snot rockets?

      I’d pay good money to see Puyol lead the guys in a Maori haka! ‘twould be epic. CT would get scared, though.

    2. B) Yes, yes, and more yes! I can’t refrain from saying it even when he shows up on trailers. Mahht Dehhmonnn!

      C) They’d have to find out how to make the castell when more than half of the team would normally be the kid on top. ๐Ÿ˜†

    3. Yeah – they could always bore the opposition to sleep by dancing La Sardana. ๐Ÿ™‚

      But then, their dances in the middle of the pitch, where they hold hands and dance in a circle is like a Barca version of La Sardana anyway!

  6. Pinto-Ibi connection!

    This .gif makes me happy for so many reasons. Makes you wonder just how much influence Pinto has in the dressing room socially. Also, Ibi is fitting in quite nicely as well, even with his limited Spanish. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

    1. Beats me. He’s beside Messi in the locker room, so I assume he gets along with him. I’ve seen him around Maxwell too (Maxi speaks English). Villa’s said very nice things about him too. Iniesta, as well.

      In my cule mind, he gets along with everybody. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’d say the English speakers especially though.

    2. OMG, that was great! I bet Pique at least messes with him like that. ๐Ÿ˜€

      “Te voy a comer el Waka!

      Si, pero lo tienes que decir dos veces!”

    3. He flew into Abidal’s arms after scoring his goal against Malaga on Saturday.

      Because of his Moroccan roots, I think that Afellay would also speak French. I also think that anyone who can speak a little English is going to be a favourite until he gets his tongue around Castellano and Catala.

      He did live in Barcelona a long time ago when he was a young baby, but I doubt that he learned much local lingo in that time. I imagine that the home-spoken language was Arabic and maybe French.

      He does read Castellano very well!

    4. Abidal speaks English too, btw. And both Iniesta and Messi are currently taking English classes, so I imagine they all muddle through fairly well.

    5. Yes – I’ve exchanged a few words in English with him – nothing major, just as he went past onto the bus one day.

      Messi is going to make a bigger killing in sponsorship fees once he learns to speak English. Right now, for speaking roles, he’s only marketable to Spanish-speaking communities.

    1. Doesn’t make sense at all to me.

      For one, Puyol is a better CB than Mascherano. Secondly, he’s our captain, our leader, the heart of the team- you’re telling me he won’t start in a Champions League final? I think Sport has got it wrong.

      I see our best possible 11 starting on Saturday and that includes Puyol and Abidal in the back line. If Pep brought back Puyol for the league game against Madrid, he’ll surely start him in a Champions League final.

      What’s the risk? It’s the last game of the season. If he breaks down, we put on Mascherano.

      I don’t really understand Sport’s logic. They say that both Puyol and Abidal aren’t at 100% fitness. That’s fine, but Abidal played 72 minutes against Malaga. If he can’t play 90 minutes against United, that’s okay.

    2. Psychologically, it would be best to start with the strongest back-line who could play the whole 90 minutes if required. This season, we’ve seen some horrible errors happen when someone in the backline has been subbed and the line loses formation. One of my phrases that I’ve been shouting at the TV this season has been, “don’t sub the backline, Pep!”

  7. OK. What exactly do people mean when they say ‘pace’? As in, Pique doesn’t have enough of it?

    Are we talking acceleration? Top speed? Stamina? A combination of two or three of these things? And is this a reference to when they DON’T have the ball, when they DO have the ball, or both?

    1. I don’t know for sure…

      but in my mind, pace is the acceleration, the speed, when they DON’T have the ball…
      when they must chase the opponent…

    2. By definition pace means: Walk at a steady and consistent speed, esp. back and forth

      I could be wrong but I’m assuming people might mean pace with or without the ball.

      From what I’ve seen, and granted I’m NOT a football expert, Pique is ‘fast’ when needed. It’s been proven when he’s chased down TB in the past but as far as this season goes, in terms of his skills..he’s been having an off season. I’m not sure if it has anything to do with Puyol’s absence or because its been a long year what with being a starter during the WC but he has been sort of slow.

    3. They mean acceleration off the line in order to track a sudden run made by the opposing teams player(s).

      I think.

      Thats what Pique lacks, imo.

      Or I could be wrong and you may have to ignore me.

    4. “pace” is a brand of salsa, as in “pace picante.” saying that a defender has “pace” is a reference to the fact that if the defender has some of this yummy salsa with him, he can usually distract the striker long enough to take the ball from him.

    5. In the case of Pique, they obviously mean acceleration. We know how he kept up with C.Ronaldo last season, after he reached his top speed.

      Ibra also wasn’t slow, he just took time to accelerate, since he has more mass, and therefore more inertia etc etc.

    6. I’m in the acceleration camp – I think of it as the “getting back” from the high backline to defend against attack on a counter?, the catching up and chasing that other are referring to. Also the ability to cover and “come across” when needed, being able to quickly move to insert yourself to break up a play when lapses happen or spaces open up that need closing down.

  8. Jose Angel?

    a mixture of Jose Mourinho and Angel di Maria? sounds great to me…

    seriously, I know nothing about Jose Angel, and Star Trek, and rules of rugby/cricket, and Eek-Love-Yaa…

    but I probably know why people are distressed about Depor… maybe because they used to be good? ๐Ÿ˜•

    oohh, and our new home kit.. I saw it in a store, it doesnt look as ugly as in the picture.. at least not for me..
    I kinda like it, actually..

  9. What the hell?

    isaiah and barca girl indo didnt know anything bout startrek?

    i know bout startrek nxt, dont know bout the original one and also dont know anything bout jose angel.

    and completely agree with euler and that fifa freak bout the defensive issue.

    but i cant understand the urge bput llorente.he is good but he is a targetman with no pace.if we r talking bout him as a plan b then isnt he too much expensive?

    1. Llorente isn’t brought on for pace. He’s there to receive the ball with his back to the goal, hold up play if needed, and convert crosses. He’s also pretty good with the ball at his feet, but probably would struggle with the intricate 1-2s that we do. He’s a great player and should be seeing more minutes with la Roja, that’s for sure.

      As to whether he should come here? Eh… he’d be like a less skilled Ibra who actually is great in the air and with a much better attitude. Way too expensive, would require a refashioning of what the team does, and would further weaken la Liga competitiveness to boot, though.

    2. Thats what i m saying.
      he is good at any other team.

      i mentioned pace,my bad what i m trying to say is his lack of movement.

      for our plan b we need a kanoute not an young and expensive llorente

    3. I don’t much about Straktrek either lol, but I’m not really interested ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. A volcano has erupted in Iceland and there are reports of it spreading to other European countries including England.I don’t know whether this is correct or not but I seriouusly hope it is’nt like last year where the club had to travel for more than 10 hrs,1000 kms for that fateful Inter Milan game.

    Oh gods,please don’t make the volcano ash spread to other countries especially to Spain and England.

    1. I saw that too in local news…

      all I can think is, “not the bus again! not the bus again!”

    2. I wouldn’t worry about that, now we have enough time to travel by Bus/Train and still be able to recover proeprly.

  11. @Poipoi

    thanks for the anime suggestions.

    and when we r talking bout sanchez, kun or rossi we must first address what we want from them?

    do we want 25+goals,lots of assists,pace, first eleven starter,workathic,good passing , providing competion for VP or a total package?

    among the trios we r talking bout i can only say kun has the most talent

    1. Cricket rules are not as complicated as many people make them out to be. All you guys living in America, haven’t you seen baseball? It’s much different, expect the guys runs in straight lengths instead of a square(?). And instead of 3 strikes you get just one.

  12. Cricket man Cricket. You know nothing about cricket? Are you from the land of “We play a poorer and less interesting version of cricket where the ball is not allowed to pitch on the ground”?

  13. Know all the rules of cricket but now a days its simply boring.

    for the cricket lovers,do u remember the ashes when the mighty aussies were beaten by flintoff.?that was a hell of a cricket series

    1. did you not see india play this winter? their games were pretty intense. but what do I know.
      I also thought you got multiple strikes as long as they didn’t tag you out

  14. I guess the deal is off.
    Stupid people who leaked it. I dont really mind that it is leaked but do it at least after the CL Final for goodness sake.
    Good that our board thinks about the team.

    1. Yeah, the team should be focusing on the final this week. In particular this news would probably affect Maxwell negatively, and the team may need him this weekend.

  15. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Pinto and 3M clicking. Ibi is of Moroocan descent and if you guys don’t know, most of the Moroccans in Holland are really into the rap game. So maybe soon we’ll see a Pinto ft. Ibi song ๐Ÿ™‚

    Coentrao deal is dead? And is Kun definitely going to Juve?

  16. This is what barcastuff is reporting.

    Jose Angel:

    Today’s meeting between representatives of Sporting and Barcelona on the transfer of left back Jose Angel has been cancelled. [sport]

    Barcelona cancelled the meeting with Sporting because the club didn’t like the news was leaked in the week before the CL final. [sport]


    “Sporting want to keep centre back Botia, who Barcelona could buy back for 2M, for another year, or replace him by B-player Bartra or Muniesa”


    “Barcelona are planning an alternative trip for in case London airports would be closed due to an ash cloud from an Icelandic volcano. [tv3]

    The team would travel by bus to Paris or Calais, and then take the train to London, where they would arrive on Friday morning #fcblive [tv3]

    1. Damn volcano! We lost against Inter in Milan because of it. I hope our players travel by plane.

    2. No, we lost because we were outplayed, outsmarted and got over confident, we also had a certain useless swedish CF and didnt have iniesta.

    3. I think the bus journey certainly didn’t help, though. Quite apart from fatigue it meant they lost a day of training to prepare for the game.

      Also I don’t blame Ibra for the loss. As I recall everyone including Messi looked off form in that game.

    4. I dont blame the swedish guy for the loss, its just that he was useless, so we were playing with a man less, thats all.

    5. I dont blame the swedish guy for the loss, its just that he was useless, so we were playing with a man less, thats all.

  17. Quick notes about everything that’s being discussed :

    – I know nothing about Rugby or Star Trek (except Luke, I’m your father because it was in many parodies.)

    – When Ibi scored, he ran towards Abidal and hugged him, I think he feels comfortable and belongs around Keita and Abidal. (Because they’re Muslims.)

    – Pace is Acceleration, The Ability to go from zero to your maximum speed in (X) seconds, Pique is fast but he takes time to reach full speed.

    – I want a BFB league, even though I don’t own an XBOX or a PS3, but at least we can know who is 2nd behind Jnice until I get one and DESTROY HIM.

    – That’s why I said I will wait till I hear OFFICIAL. But that means there are more transfers going on. It’s good they’re waiting after the CL Final.

    – Volcano ? Ash ? Icelandic ? Bus ? Train ? …… ๐Ÿ™

    1. “luke, I am your father” is Star WARS.
      “beam me up, scottie” is star trek
      Pace is not acceleration. Pace is a continued rate. It can be used to talk about walking, running, biking, teaching, speaking, writing. It’s basically velocity.
      In football/running it is your top speed although often we don’t see top speed and if players are the same pace it is whoever accelerates faster that gets to the ball first.
      This is also how the FIFA games do it. they have pace (or something like) and then acceleration.

  18. Barcelona have decided they will certainly fly to London, although they could leave earlier than planned #fcblive [radiomarca-ondacero-rac1] (Barcastuff)

    THANK GOD!!!!!!


  19. Are there high speed trains from Barcelona or Madrid to some place like Paris that they can take to shorten the journey? In thought that there are high speed rail lines all over Europe, but I’m not sure if they stretch across borders. (I’m Canadian, so European transport is not something I know a lot about).

    1. Interesting. So they could drive to Montpellier and take the train from there. Otherwise it doesn’t look very promising.

    2. Better yet, they can fly to paris (not affected by the volcanic cloud yet), and take the TGV from there to london, but remeber all of this talking is just in case they cant fly directly to london.

  20. hum, I am pretty sure I’ve seen you dancing, Isaiah. You know a move or two. A good footballer cannot be that bad a dancer.

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