The M*drid Thicket: A SoccerMom’s take on El Clasico Faltasico

I’m just the messenger, SoccerMom takes over after the jump.

So here’s a question for y’all.

You are the coach of a brilliant passing side, with players great of heart but small of stature, with a few injured stars left to twinkle in the stands.

You are about to face off with your nemesis, a coach who — regardless of the nature of the competition itself, just as long as the match is against you — routinely parks as many as 8 men behind the half-pitch mark, just to lay in wait for your MiniMen to dare crash the gate. He’s got a galaxy of superstars too, but they’re healthy and tend to hang out on the bench rather than the bleachers.

Please consider, also, that another strategy of said nemesis is to bleat and moan about referree decisions in press conferences. Oh, he’s a pathological narcissist with a persecution complex to be sure, but he’s not stoopid, either. He doesn’t want to make your team feel bad, or his fans feel better. He wants to upset the officials, to put their nerves on edge, to make them split-second guess before spittle touches whistle, What did I see? Do I exhale? Should I make this call?

Ah, do, too, ruminate: This pathological narcissist, with a persecution complex, a dominance of defensive tactics and a lockerroom full of multimillion-euro superstars with mouths as big as their muscles … well, he better pony up some silver draped in royal white this season, or he’s gonna lose his job.

You are destined to meet this man on the pitch in as many as four games in as many weeks. You, with your twisted ankles and muscle aches and spinal-disk slips. You, who has to look twice at your bench mid-match: Are they all just short men, or are you really short men?

What, in all likelihood, is the big ‘strategy’ that Barça was chided to ‘change their style’ for? Mou didn’t want to park a bus — he wanted to pitch a white-picket fence — with cleats. A real Madrid Thicket, if you will.

So really, is it smart, is it tactical, is it even ethical to know, deep in the marrow of your narrow, well-proportioned little bones, that Mourinho is going to walk into the bowels of the Bernabeu and tell his players straight-up and out-loud, “Take them out.” After all, what does he have to lose? He spends half the season in the stands anyway. Is he going to face tough questions at some press conference? Are people going to whine that he’s not a nice person, once you get to know him?

Or is it excusable — is it smart — is it necessary, to say, “All right, we know what we’re up against. A nasty coach and a frustrated team and a nervous ref. He is counting on bringing the pain. Not the ‘gain’ kind of ‘pain’. Real pain. Real, excruciating, end-your-season-if-not-your-career-if-you’re-lucky pain.

“We do what we do, and we do it well. We will do that. But.”

(Now looks at Alves. Then Sergi. Just a look. Then keeps looking around. Just looking at everyone, you know, making good eye contact with each player before the Big Game.)

Meaning: You feel a breeze blowing Madridward on your leg hair, you fall like a rotten scaffold, you hear me?

Forza Barça i visca Pep.


I also implore you all to check out this post. It’s an unbiased report analyzing Wolfgang Stark’s performance. I say unbiased, because it’s a referee from Hong Kong who does it, not a cule or Madridista, and he talks about all the incidents.

Next is a nice little post from Graham Hunter for

The nonsense goes on as we’ve gone “Oh Mou, you did not just say that” and have filed a complaint against them to UEFA’s disciplinary commitee while EE have gone “Barca are cheating divers!” and filed a complaint against us to UEFA’s disciplinary committee.

I am ignoring all the pettiness, instead watching this video again and again and again, courtesy of MessiBarcaNL

You make me so proud, Leo!

And also, this:

Heck. Yeah.

By Kari

Just your neighbourhood Barca fanatic


  1. I have seen all Barca matches this season. Busquets, Alves, Pedro.. absolutely no one dived or acted like yesterday’s match this whole season. Why did they suddenly decide to do it yesterday? Well, what else you can expect… You spend two nights in a prison cell trying to act like an angel among bunch of thugs, on the third night, my friend, you become THE Devil, and all Hell breaks lose. ‘Fear not,’ my friend, a man of great faith, says, ‘God saves us at the end with two golazos!’.

    *hectored comment 🙁
    now reading this one, my zillionth classico read 😛

  2. Nice play with words! fantastico faltastico jaja

    I’m sorry, but I can´t let this go, I hope there are no outrageous consecuences on this, so I repost it here…

    EE will SUE Barcelona on the UEFA for apparently simulating, and anti-sportmanship conduct…

    EE also stands behind Mou’s press conference of yesterday..

    So If we thought behaviour like this would show EE’s president and directory how Mou’s conduct is disgraceful for the club, we thought wrong…

    I hope our legal team can counteract this quickly,…

    1. Counter react? It says that they are thinking about lodging a complaint pre-emptively in light of our claims-


      UEFA has decided to launch an investigation by itself too:

  3. Isn’t ‘forza’ Italian and ‘força’ Catalan? 😛
    Also, that HK ref seems to have a certain dislike for Mourinho, making him not so unbiased, but who can blame him?

    1. Apparently adding a * before a link doesn’t help..

      Could you moderate my post quickly Kari? Pretty please?

  4. Hey Everyone!!
    Just watched the game for the second time and their are quite a few things I would like to point out:

    -Diving/Playacting: Our Players, when playing Real Madrid, have always been treated hard. They have been kicked, elbowed, and they have even been sat on!(cough*Ramos*cough). There must come a time when our players tend to get scared as well. We are one of the smallest teams in the world, and when there are players such as Adebayor running around trying to body check them, then the team is bound to get intimidated. And that will lead to an excess of diving, and the team will do anything to try and get players sent off, just for the sake of fearing for their safety. Think about it, Your in THE most highly charged game in the world, and you know that the only way your opponents are going to play the game is by beating the crap out of you. It must be frightening. IMO this is why we’ve seen an excess of play-acting and diving yesterday. In no way am I saying that it is right, I for one, hate it. But tactics and theatrics such as these are part of the game, and unless a red card is issued for play-acting/diving/running to ref, then it won’t stop. I wasn’t extremely proud of Busi, and Pedro, but they knew about the treatment they were going to get, and they acted accordingly.

    -Red Card: It was a red card. No question about it. The minute you go in a challenge with your studs showing, your bound to be punished. From experience, it is one of the most brutal things to happen to you, I was knocked out for 11 months because some jacka*s broke my ankle:S. What Pepe did was wrong and he deserved it. Thinking about it, RM players deserved a lot more red cards then they have gotten in the past three El Clasico’s.

    -Mou: Don’t like him, Hate him, I think he’s disrespectful, egotistic, and selfish. It boils my blood when I realize that he once used to be part of this club. His UNICEF comment was just low…

    -Pep: He nailed his tactics. His outburst was timed perfectly, and the response he got from the players was just wonderful. His decision to bring on Affelay was wonderful. Marcelo has hardly played against him, and his pace just destroyed the RM left-back. He’s becoming a much better tactician…on and off the field (*smirks*)

    -Signings: Many people, including Cules, have criticized his signings. But I think that he is learning from his mistakes. Ibrahimovic, and Chiggy, were bad pieces of business, but this season’s signings have been wonderful. Four players were signed for the season, and all of them have shown us that they belong to be in the starting XI. And the highlight is that being one of the smallest squads in the world, versatility is key, and the signings of Adriano, Masch, and Affelay were key to he squad. Masch can probably play up to 5 positions, so can Adriano. Affelay can play up to 3. And Villa has proven that he can interchange between any of the forward positions. Wonderful!

    -Last but not least, I want to share my thoughts about the young bloke who scored our two goals yesterday. Seriously speaking, I started to tear up when he score the second goal yesterday. He’s just outstanding. His brain, his stamina, vision, pace, finishing are all unparalleled. 52 GOALS IN 50 GAMES! and 25 ASSISTS…WTF!!! He’s only 23, yet he’s 7th in all time CL goals with 36. He is the THIRD all time top-scorer for FC Barcelona. Already holds most goals in Spanish La Liga( All Comps ), and has the most assists ever made in La Liga. Top scorer in CDR (Joint), CL, and La Liga. Two Ballon D’Ors (record is 3). This man is special. He never ceases to amaze us, yet he goes one step further every god-damn time. Any one thinking 60 goals this season???

    -BTW: what do you guys think would happen to Ibra when he eventually returns at the end of the season? My Idea: Sell him to Man City for 35 Million…

    Sorry for the length of the comment:D:D:D I VERY VERY HAPPY AND PROUD

  5. Thanks Kari! This is exactly what I was hoping for, this comment as a separate post. Always nice to think of things in a different perspective before hauling our players over hot coals. The Champions League game will have to be seen in the context of the preceding two games & associated thuggery.

    1. Good call! 😉 Everybody needs more SoMa in their lives.

      He doesn’t want to make your team feel bad, or his fans feel better.

      -Again, <3

    1. Punto Pelota? Oh. Well if it came from there, I don’t know why people even took it seriously in the first place.

      It’s a Madrid-based and biased show, who have Tomas Roncero as a frequent guest. Says it all really.

      I saw the contact live. If Mascherano’s no cleat challenge on Pepe gets a yellow, Pepe’s cleat tackle is a red. In La Liga, 9/10 times that’s a red. Bias doesn’t let EE see that, but whatevs. We took the Copa loss, but they can’t take this defeat it seems.

    2. have can you take a loss, when you have The Prince of Darkness by your side?
      everything around you seems so dark and evil…the perfect coach for Evil Empire…

      one thing I notice, is TB behaviour…
      instead of moaning, whining like cry baby, he seemed to be disappointed with his own team, no?
      while it’s hilarious to see him lost in Barcelona triangle, I can feel his frustration…

      “what the hell are you guys doing? come here, run, help me, and let’s play football, ffs!”

    3. I’m not really sure what happened to your comment either. I thought maybe someone deleted it or something, but it could be the system going nuts. Sorry about that.

  6. it’s “Kill or get Killed” in a bloody battle…

    good point from Sid Lowe (?), I forget exactly who said it…

    diving is worse than fouling? really?
    and the word “fouling” is too soft…more like “stomping and breaking your opponent’s legs”…

    1. maybe is not worse, but it is still bad… is cheating (or trying to cheat)

      let’s say that the positions were reversed, that a barca player was red carded for that action when he barely touched a madridista player (and he acted as well)… how would you feel? would you say that it was a red card anyways? or would you feel robbed?

      kind of hard to get a neutral response for this…

    2. Like I said before, I never proud when our team cheating, diving, or acting…
      I prefer we did not do it…bad thing is a bad thing…

      but the point is Madrid cannot act like they were the victim…they were not…
      there’s no good vs evil here, just evil vs evil…but one side is more evil than the other…

      and you’re right, hard to get neutral response…but from what I ‘ve seen, some journalists/observers (who I think neutral), said it was worth a red card…especially in Spanish football…

      if Alves’ ankle was broken from that kick, there’ll be no debate whether that dangerous play should’ve been red card or not…

    3. I’m still undecided. For one, I think that – in order to try to keep clean football and keep player’s physical integrity – every dangerous play should be punishable. Doesn’t matter if the play didn’t result in a serious injury.

      However, there’s room for debate. Not always the players do stuff in a bad manner. Sometimes injuries result in legal plays. Dunno…

      Whatever, they got a free pass to play dirty at the Copa match… so, saying that there’s a conspiracy for ref-bias for Barcelona is just ridiculous.

    4. Whatever, they got a free pass to play dirty at the Copa match… so, saying that there’s a conspiracy for ref-bias for Barcelona is just ridiculous.

      yup… after a horrible Karate Kid display from EE in Copa, now they want to act like they’re the victim?
      just plain ridiculous…

    5. I honestly would have found a red justified even if it was a the other way and even if there was no contact with that sort of challenge. I am absolutely certain about that.

  7. I appreciate the dirty hats both MouMou & Guardiola had to don in each’s pre-game pressers, but Joe-zay’s intent was just evil. Pep was just balancing things out. Whatever. Nobody’ll remember any of this crap once Barça lifts up another orejona. I won’t, anyway. 😀

    1. exactly, Miguel… 😀

      in fact, like Kxevin said, if we can do the trick next Tuesday, we will be able to giggle about the fact that they spent all that money to win the Copa.

      dropped-and-ran-over-by-bus-Copa-del-Rey-trophy, to be precise… 😆

  8. Leaving the drama aside.

    I gotta recognize Pep for, not just being a great coach, but being a great strategist as well. I’m talking about the field tactics. Barcelona didn’t go all attack on Madrid, Barça was calmer… what for? Easy, to avoid the danger of counters… and, afterall, a 0-0 result would be great.

    Madrid didn’t expect that. Mourinho didn’t expect that either. All of this while keeping the ball. Reducing their chances to win even more.

    That was a key factor, for me at least.

    1. Yes, Victor. That’s exactly what happened.

      Mourinho planned to counterattack. He planned for us to attack and tire. And he would bring in the subs much later in the game to go for the kill. He planned to show the Bernabeu that they will defend valiantly and be applauded for it. And then go on to score.

      BUT Pep was the better strategist. He knew this. So he decided that we will NOT attack. After all, we could have gone home from the Bernabeu with a nil-nil draw and that would still have been good for us. So we kept the ball and stayed in our half. And the Madrid players were stunned and didn’t know what to do, never expecting this. They stayed in their halves as well, without the ball on their feet, and looked like idiots in front of their home crowd. To Ronaldo’s credit – he made initial forays in our half, thinking he would at least get some support from his team. But they didn’t. Thus, he was made to look the fool, with our players making him the piggy in a ronda. He can’t do it on his own. That’s foolish. But he was at least brave.

      They eventually had to try and make a game out of it. But their line-up was not made for it. Four defenders, 3 holding midfielders and no striker was not meant to score a goal. They kept hoofing the ball up and couldn’t stitch three passes together. It was a complete exercise in futility. They were tasked to foul and basically destabilize our players -but we were also up to it. Regretfully, we had to exaggerate and all – but that too was part of the plan to expose their own tactics.

      Finally, their aggressiveness resulted in Pepe’s sending off. Ramos’ yellow. And all others just had to keep from getting the second yellow. We now had more freedom to play our way. Thus, the beautiful goals that followed.

      Indeed, Pep was the better strategist. He thought one-step farther than Mourinho. Mou thought that by conserving energy in the first half, they would have better chances in the second. But he wasted his best chance because we did not attack. And they were set up to play aggressively, thus the inevitable sending off. After that, he couldn’t execute his plan anymore being a man down.

      Pep executed his tactics so perfectly that he even had the luxury of rubbing it in by bringing in a B-teamer in the dying minutes.

      Now who is the genius?

  9. ██──███─██──███─███────██─██

    I got this from totalbarca, beautiful… 😀

  10. Honestly I don’t think I will be visiting that EE blog anymore. I usually got there to read up on their opinions but after these El Classicos the writers and comments have shown their true colors.

    1. I am not reading and have not read their comments after the game. I doubt I’ll find anything palatable there.

      But I did see their liveblog. And I can’t help but feel…pity. [After all, we already won the game]. A lot of them were very disappointed and angry at Mou’s line-up. They were wondering where their strikers were. Why they were playing cautiously and defensively in their turf. Why they were hoofing their balls to no one and to nowhere. Many knew they played badly.

      I’m sure they have many things to say against us (some quite deservedly) but that is to be expected. I feel bad that the once proud and mighty Real Madrid have been reduced to playing cowardly in front of their own fans. To come up with such line-up and aggressive tactics is a disservice to the team they are supposed to be. Thanks to Mou.

      Anyway, I hope we win at the Camp Nou playing brilliantly and without the theatrics involved in the first leg. I want the integrity of our style and victories to remain intact and not marred and diluted by all the acting.

    2. Yup there were atleast some level headed comments criticizing Mou in his team selection but from what I can gather among them is that they can do no wrong and that the majority of them see no flaws but only point out ours(our diving etc)

      No one wanna discuss the foolish unnecessary stomps some of our players suffered from theirs and how Messi & Pedro are both doubtfully for this weekend games thanks to the fouls suffered.

    3. Emotions are high. I haven’t checked because I’ve been so busy, but three clasicos in 2 weeks and someone is going to blow. I’ve probaby come off as blinkered cule who can’t think outside her cule box more than once to some people. Not that I think I’m wrong of course. #superioritycomplex


    4. Honestly, I think as far as fan reaction + objectivity goes, I think the people here have been generally great. We almost unanimously disapprove of the diving done by Busi, Alves, and Pedro. We acknowledge that The Dark Arts were deployed in this game by us. Whereas from what I’ve seen in other blogs I visit, the Madridistas actually believe they were playing clean and did nothing to get their player sent off. They actually believe in Mou’s “wah wah always 10 men against Barca” rants. I don’t see that kind of cognitive dissonance amongst the Cules here.

    5. egg-sactly… Mou’s brain wash has been successful, to EE fans…

      at least we admit we don’t like all the diving and acting…

    6. neither do I…

      honestly, usually I visit EE blog/forums when they lost, just as a lurker… 😛

      but this time, nope… not interesting… I’m very very sure I’m gonna see nothing but nonsense and full of hatred comments ala Mourinho…

    7. You will be surprised at the Liveblog comments.

      Many saw Mou for what he is. They were greatly disappointed in their team and in his tactics. Some grudgingly admired us. They still hated us, of course. But believe me – they saw through Mou. They will still support him I guess. But they werent exactly blind.

    8. Usually that space is pretty reasonable as far as offside blogs go, but it’s a festering ball of hate right now.

      Best to be avoided.

  11. Guys, I hate to be the bearer of awful news, but it appears that Busquets is guilty of more than just awful diving/acting.

    There’s a video on youtube of some of Busquets’ behavior on the pitch during the game, and in it, you can clearly see him cover his mouth and say the word “momo”, meaning monkey, to Marcelo.

    I can’t. I can’t even put into words how horribly disgusted and ashamed I am right now. This is awful. He needs a lengthy ban from the club and UEFA, and to make a formal apology to Marcelo and Real Madrid, not to mention his own teammates.

    1. I cant believe this, how will he be able to confront Abidal or Keita after they have seen this.

      This is a shame, I really looked up to busquets..

    2. You have to double check this. I watched the video and he could also have been saying something longer than “MO” if you follow the the shape of his mouth. In fact, the ending seemed more like an “a” to me than an “o.”

      If this is verified to be true, then shame on him and us. It cannot be tolerated.

      But this is a grave thing. Considering that Alves was supposed to be heavily heckled during the game, I cannot imagine Busi saying that to Marcelo. And Marcelo not reacting at all. Not even to say anything in return.

    3. Yeah, I couldn´t tell. Not that I can read lips. If true, FIFA should make an example out of him. That the Spanish FA turns a blind eye to this sort of nonsense on a regular basis is horrifying, too.

    4. I really want this not to be true. I do. If it’s NOT true, then fantastic. But native Spanish speakers have looked at it and are saying it’s definitely Momo.

      And considering that even Dani’s given up on fighting back against the racism in Spain/Spanish football, I wouldn’t be surprised.

    5. oh, man…
      I’m so disappointed with Busi right now…
      aagghh… disgusting…disgusting…

      I won’t defend Busi if other fans mock or discredit him…
      not this time…he deserves it…

    6. If this is indeed true why hasn’t Marcelo bought it up as yet? Playing against your most fiercest rival and a player says something like that you would certainly bring it up later on.

    7. Even the video is asking it as a question because it certainly isnt “clear” that he said mono at all.

    8. I get that you want this not to be true, but he’s saying it. What else could he honestly be saying, covering his mouth that way?

    9. “Puto”

      Both of them, in spanish, are insults. They aren’t racist insults, though. there’s no literal translation, but it is like saying “fagg*t”.

      Not defending that… but those are another big possibilities.

      He doesn’t deserve suspension or anything for that.

    10. I don’t think that’s what he’s saying. Native Spanish speakers have said, it definitely starts with M. I get that he’s a Barca player, I get that we don’t want it to be true, but I honestly believe he said it. And trust me, this is something I DON’T want to believe.

    11. It is really hard to tell, though. So, while Busquets put on a shameful performance with his theatrics… I don’t really think he said racist things.

      And this is not that I don’t want to believe anything… I say it because it is really hard to tell.

    12. Dude, how is it hard to tell? The video’s got a clear shot of his mouth, that’s really the only thing he could be saying.

    13. Sorry, mardia, but I’m gonna call BS on this. Just because it LOOKS like it, doesn’t mean it DEFINATELY is. Just because it’s starts with an “m” and his mouth resembles an “o” at the end, doesn’t mean it’s automatically “momo”.

      I get it, Busi’s behavior was disgraceful, incredibly disgraceful, but don’t you think that Marcelo would be the first to say something about this? The person who uploaded this video is evidently trying to stir the pot, hence the question. With all due respect, unless these native Spanish speakers are lip readers, it’s very difficult to tell what exactly he’s saying. For example, there looks like there is definitely an “a” in the middle of that word.

      After the manipulated videos of the Pepe red card, where people went as far as to take out frames to prove their point, anything right now is fake until proven legitimate. Everything is so ugly right now — there are no boundaries of decency anymore — it’s more likely to be BS than be anything factual. And add Busi as an easy target right now, so people will be jumping on his back.

      If Busi said it, shame on him. Make an example out of him: ban him and force an apology + a fine.

    14. “Native Spanish speakers have said, it definitely starts with M”

      Im watching for the 20th time and I’m still not clear.Declaring that he *definitely* said it is premature and ill wait till I hear what both Marcelo and Sergio have to say about this tomorrow before condemning him thanks.

    15. If he didn’t say it, then I’ll be the first to apologize. But if he did, then the club needs to ban him from games. Including the Champions’ League.

    16. Kari/XavIniestAbidaLeo, I honestly don’t even know what to think anymore. If he didn’t say it, then fantastic, I’ll completely apologize for doubting him, and I’d hope he’d have enough sense and decency not to do something like this.

      I just hope this is all cleared up tomorrow.

    17. Looks like Mo-Mo to me…which I’m sure is just this slimy dip****s way of saying mono and having plausible deniability. Yes sit him for CL games, but then sell him to some mid-table Russian club where he’ll never see the light of European day.
      I used to excuse him ’cause he was young…now I think he’s pathological. Not cute anymore. Move this poison apple.

    18. We all have to require incontrovertible evidence before we believe this against our own player. Give us a verified sound recording NOT some lip movement which could have been doctored as well. And as I said, even if it weren’t doctored, check closely. It doesn’t look like momo/mono to me. As I said above, it seemed to end with an “a” to me.

      Once things like these come out, whether true or not, we’re on the defensive. And it’s sometimes more difficult to prove he did NOT say it than that he did.

      We must close ranks and protect our own, NOT sow dissent and doubt within ourselves. I believe that EVERYONE here agrees that IF Busi did say that – he should be meted out just punishment.

      But he is innocent until proven guilty. And we are NOT the judges here. The Madridistas and everyone else might say and choose to believe what they want to believe even without proof. Anyone who comes out with these things already help Busi be the object of public crucifixion. But we are and should not be like that. We are the supporters. We are the cules. He is our own. We should at the very least require real and verified evidence. We should not be the first to condemn. We should be his last line of support. IF he is proven to be guilty, then we can accept his punishment. But not before.

    19. Exactly! I agree with you. We shouldnt throw him under the bus until there is some concrete evidence. As a native Spanish speaker it was difficult for me to see what he was saying. I’d say he said something starting with a m and o but he didn’t make the same movement I do when I pronounce the letter n. Plus marcelo’s head was in the way before buiscuits stopped talking.

    20. If true,

      He should be banned for the rest of the season plus fined whatever he earned this year!
      He should be kicked in the balls mercilessly by everyone that as offended by that,everyone in the world.

    21. That second syllable looks more like an /a/ to me. I’m not sure what he could be saying though.

    22. hey mardia…are you new here? Because i don’t remember any of your posts…weird
      You seem to be very convinced…
      I’m not though…I know spanish pretty well and there’s no way he says that, spaniards just don’t pronounce words that way…
      My spanish teacher says the same…
      and there’s NO WAY there is a “n” in the second syllabi!

    23. I’ve been posting for a couple months now, although I don’t do it all the time.

      If he didn’t say it, then fantastic, and I completely apologize.

  12. Great article XaviIniestaAbidalLeo! A very good link on the hkref. He pointed out a lot about Mourinho’s tactics and seemed refs are not worried about his theatrics. However what’s worrisome is that he’s using Madrid’s media machinery to further fire the controversies he also created. But I think Stark and his team made a legitimate decision on Alves and Pedro. These refs were on the pitch and they can clearly see what’s really happening. And I think with Pedro, there’s so much going on before he went down. Have you seen the photos how Xavi was really angry at Arbeloa after the latter’s collision with Pedro? It must really mean something.

  13. Don’t laugh, but ever since the CDR I haven’t been able to get the thought out of my mind that this story is a re-enactment of the Karate Kid. (What can I say? I’m a child of the 80’s)

    But here it is–it’s undeniable:

    Daniel San – played by Barcelona
    Mr. Miyagi – played by Pep Guardiola
    The Kobra Kai – played by Real Madrid
    John Creese – played by Jose Mourinho

    It all starts when young Barcasan gets beat up unfairly by the mean Real bullies and suffers a loss. At first, despite Mou’s provocations, the enigmatic Pep refuses to engage or fight back. But the bullies take it too far, and Pep decides enough is enough. It’s time to enter the tournament: “Now, we fight,” he says.

    The RM players, in their heart of hearts, would rather just play football. They don’t really want to be so hurtful, but they are controlled by a domineering, malicious, megalomaniacal coach who is obsessed with victory above honor.

    Barca has put up a good fight in early rounds, but now he is hurt and tired. The Madrid bully, in a moment of humanity, looks helplessly at his coach, hoping for mercy. Instead the coach calls out, “Finish him!” The Real bullies reluctantly deliver a seemingly fatal blow, and the audience is heartbroken. Barca retreats to the dressing room, where Pep rubs his hands together and magically heals the wounded side. The story is unfolding before our eyes–all that is left is for Barca to pull out a glorious win on Tuesday with a Messi/Villa/Pedro crane kick, as a Real Madrid mutinee ensues.

    If it plays out this way, what more could we want? Well, I can think of only one thing: if Pep goes up to Mou as if to fight, but instead grabs his nose and makes a honking sound, I can die a happy girl…

    1. I can imagine Mourinho aka Cleese telling his player: “Sweep the leg…you have a problem with that?”

    2. Kreese: Bobby – I want him out of commission.
      Bobby: But Sensei, I can beat this guy!
      Kreese: I don’t want him beat.
      Bobby: But I’ll be disqualified!
      Kreese: [icily] Out of commission.

    3. Haha. Kinukinu – you are our brilliant resident film person. You have a film in mind for every situation 😀

  14. first dive of the game was di maria, who simulated near the corner and got alves called for a foul in a dangerous location for a set piece. (btw shortly thereafter alves did actually foul him and got a yellow card, clearly cos it was a ‘second offense’)

    this was after our players had already received a few kicks

    but after that di maria dive, it was on like a prawn at the crack of dawn…

  15. Here is a brilliant compilation of defending of our MVP from Allas


    The defending of Messi vs Villa/Pedro is ineteresting. Messi almost always wins the ball when he goes after it. Pedro and Villa puts insane pressure all the time. Messi would have made a brilliant full back .. shame 🙂

  16. Where has the decency in the World of Football went to??? I’m sadden I visited the madrid offside, is there anyway one can forceful ban a website on his/her computer??

    1. If you use Firefox browser, you can search the add-ons for a program called “BlockSite”. I’ve used it for the last month to block football and other distraction sites toward the end of the semester (as final projects beckon).

      You obviously can find ways around it, but it’s good if your browser has the most commonly viewed sites of yours easily accessible. This prevents you from casually clicking on a site that you now want to avoid.

      I’m sure other such add-ons are available for other browsers. They’re good for keeping such trash out of your life. No need to get worked up over what someone on the internet says.

    2. lol, I don’t think you have an appreciation for how my browsing works.

      Firefox has a drop down menu of your most commonly visited sites. Blocking the site prevents you from that “first impulse” of clicking on a site just because it’s there. Like, if I went to a lot (which I don’t regularly go to anyway, but just an illustrative example), it is present on that Firefox feed unless I clear my entire history. Using the add-on gives you a warning when you try to go to that site. You can always go to the add-on and remove the block, but you’ve already increased the energy threshold required to do so.

  17. I still haven’t congratulated you lot on the win, although i did it in my posts. So congrats. Regardless of diving, cheating, red cards and all that nonsense, you guys had a tactical plan to attempt to win the game and we didn’t. And that deserves a win. Plus Messi is a true genius.

    I won’t add much. Emotions are high and the slightest mistake in word putting would get me the back handed slap from you lot, so i will avoid that.

    I will say one thing. This is a low for football. Or at least since i have been following this game for the last 10 years. The game the world stops to watch and this is what the two teams have to present? Only two players to keep their dignity in these games are Messi and Iker.

    And then to add to it all, rather than the club officials making an attempt at calming down the situation, they join in on the attack? Regardless of the outcome of the investigations, the loser is both our clubs. Shame on both clubs.

    I knew 5 clasico’s would be a bad thing, but i was just afraid i won’t be able to handle the intensity. But never did i think it will get to this.

    Oh well, once again, congrats on the win. For what it’s worth, behind all the nastiness, you guys deserved the win. I never thought i would say this, but maybe in the next clasico someone other than Ronaldo alone will press upfront.

    1. Honestly, I think the tone was set after the first Clasico (league tie). Vincente Del Bosque is going to have a tough job on his hands.

    2. Do you think these altercations will in some way have a negative effect on La Roja and the players relationships with each other?

    3. In my mind I’m trying to deny it because La Roja is my favorite team but you are right Nav.
      The damage is done almost 1 year after Spain achieved something they fought hard for and deserved..and it was all undone because some “genius” indoctrinated EE with his hate and disgusting psychological tactics.

    4. I honestly don’t know WHAT del Bosque’s going to do this summer when La Roja meet up for the Euro qualifiers. Here’s hoping the more senior players on the squad (Iker, Puyol, Xavi) can help bring the squad back together again. The fact that not EVERYONE on La Roja plays for Barca/RM could also maybe help.

    5. It’s mostly about RM’s players in this case because Barca obviously form the main part of the team (Villa, Pedro, Xavi, Iniesta, Busquet, Pique, Puyol). The only very important players from RM is Alonso and he’s a calm player. Iker is not integral (Spain has plenty of quailty GK’s and the position is isolated) but he’s rational too. Be tough to fit Ramos and Arbeloa in though.

    6. Well…La Roja doesn’t really need Sergio Ramos, Arbeloa and Albiol, does it?

      I’m sure some suitable replacement could be found for them. I’m very, very fond of Iker and I’m sure he’s level-headed enough to be professional about all these. And if he isn’t – no one can complain of VV taking his place.

    7. They have Marchena, Iraola, and Capdevilla as alternates but..they play second fiddle to Ramos, Arbeloa, and Albiol.

      Iker is level-headed but he did try to stir the pot with Pique’s supposed comments during the 1st clasico of April, although in his defense he also said Pique has the makings of a captain.

      Pepe Reina comes before VV for reasons I cannot and will never understand.

    8. They only play second fiddle cause they’re not from Barca or RM 😀

      Was never impressed with Ramos’ contribution to the national side. He’s a very, very poor version of Alves. And he wastes all chances given to him. Neither has Albiol nor Arbeloa been impressive for the NT. {They seem like likeable fellows, really. Recently however, they seemed to have been poisoned by Mou as well. Quite sad}

    9. And then to add to it all, rather than the club officials making an attempt at calming down the situation, they join in on the attack? Regardless of the outcome of the investigations, the loser is both our clubs. Shame on both clubs.

      Shame on us, why? Did you not read what your manager said about our team, our manager, our victories after the match? To question our titles, to claim conspiracy, to even throw a jab at UNICEF is beyond pathetic.

      Hell yeah we complained to UEFA. Why should he be allowed to spew such ridiculous things about our club? Forget freedom of speech, that’s slander. As far as I’m concerned, we have a case, let’s take a look at what your club is complaining about.

      You guys are complaining to UEFA about diving and that our behavior was anti-sporting? Let’s think about this for a moment…..

      Ready? Okay. It’s a shame players dive. It’s a shame players embellish and play-act. But were some of your players not guilty of the very same thing? Di Maria, Pepe? Anti-sporting. Is stepping on your opponents knee sporting? Let’s not even talk about the Copa final and some of the thuggery that went on there.

      Let’s keep it real, Bassam. You guys have no case. No case whatsoever. Anti-sporting… give me a break. That’s like me telling the cops that the boy over there stole something, meanwhile I’m doing the same thing. And the camera has us both on tape! Please.

      Also, how ridiculous of your club to make a video about our “dives” and whatever else they perceive as injustice. Did we make a video after the Copa final of what Arbeloa and Ramos were doing? And then they post what Rio Ferdinand and Michael Owen have to say about the incidents. Right. Don’t make me laugh.

      Thanks for the congrats, but you can spare me the “both clubs should be ashamed” routine. It’s not valid here.

    10. “I won’t add much. Emotions are high and the slightest mistake in word putting would get me the back handed slap from you lot, so i will avoid that.”

      Point in case. I will say one thing, if you think this complaint to UEFA is for the benefit of your club, then you should reconsider. No one is benefiting here. We are all losing as football fans.

      So i will respectfully say no. I won’t spare you the “both clubs should be ashamed” routine. I re watched that game and the only 2 that were able to put a smile on my face were iker and Messi. So yes, shame on both clubs.

    11. Thanks a bunch! From a couple of posters above, it seemed that not everyone had the same experience as you while reading it. Thanks for the compliments 🙂

    12. And then to add to it all, rather than the club officials making an attempt at calming down the situation, they join in on the attack?

      Have you met the Rosell administration? Under him, Barcelona has drawn a strict line against defamation. Over the summer, it formally threatened to sue English tabloids for making up interviews. A few months ago, it actually initiated legal proceedings to sue the COPE radio station for the accusations of doping.

      Mourinho is not exempt from this line: his post-match press conference wasn’t just whining about the ref or about our players’ behavior. Mourinho insinuated the club had bought off UEFA. That’s a corruption charge, and regardless of what that clown of a coach has said in the past, this crossed a line. If you’ve been paying attention, you’d realize this isn’t some sort of petty attack on RM meant to incite the incident further. It’s very much in line with Barca’s recent no-tolerance policy regarding defamation.

    13. I did not argue that what Mou said in the press wasn’t bad. But look at the situation. Look at whats happening. Look at what happened on the pitch. And look at what happened at half time. Was it the wisest decision to file a complaint? It’s like seeing a wild fire and throwing a tank of oxygen in it. You might have made a habit of throwing tanks of Oxygen away, but when you see a fire, you put that tank of Oxygen aside and get the fire extinguisher.

    14. So,you think the board of Barclona directors make peace with their Madrid counterparts and UEFA while Mourinho is questioning and disintegrating the reputation of Barcelona?.Certainly not.

    15. You can take action without it being a formal complaint. You can release a statement saying we do not accept the accusations being made by Mourinho and believe they are disrespectful to our club. But turning it into a legal manner is not a wise choice.

    16. Perhaps filing formal complaints isn’t the best way to deal with acts of defamation, but that has been the policy of Barcelona under Rosell. The club felt that his statements damaged the club’s image, and they are well within their rights to seek punishment for his actions. Same as English tabloids and COPE. If the effect is that individuals will in the future think twice about spouting off lies about the club, then yes, that is an appropriate response.

      That analogy is simple-minded. We’re not talking about some abstract notion of conflict. We’re talking about the actions of human beings. Regardless of whether the match was the height of classiness or the gutter of Spanish football, Mourinho simply cannot go around saying inflammatory remarks and not expect a) UEFA not to punish punish him and b) Barcelona not to go to the appropriate authorities to see that he is punished.

    17. True. But was this the time to file this complaint? Would it have been better to just release a statement saying: hey, we denounce what was said by Mou and we call BS on everything he says.

      A club has to take into consideration the situation that is going on before making a decision. I jog every morning but when its raining i stay inside. True story 😉

    18. If your complaint is that Barcelona should have waited until they filed a complaint against UEFA? Will your complaint then be that Barcelona should not be dragging out old conflicts to reignite the fire? They’re going to file a complain, just file the damn complaint.

      And seriously, those analogies are still simple-minded 😉

    19. Yes,this was correct time.Not to forget that this was not the first time Mourinho has said something derogatory about Barcelona.But after this match,he seriously crossed his limits.

    20. @Jose: I’m saying taking into account what was going on and the fact that UEFA already decided to look into the Mou situation, the decision to file another complaint to the same governing body was just not needed. If the uefa said they will investigate that situation, then why file another complaint at a time that the club officials should be easing the hatred not making it worse.

      As for the analivied, well, I’m a simple man. Plus I find them amusing 🙂

    21. I don’t mean to sound like a little kid but all of these problems are BECAUSE OF Mourinho..plain and simple. There are many examples like when he said in a press conference that teams in La Liga give the match to Barcelona and don’t even bother trying. That was disrespectful to Barcelona and all of its opponents for saying such things. He implements his us vs them psychological tactics on his players, indoctrinating them with hate and anti-football. What did you think the outcome would be? Everyone around a campfire singing kumbaya with Iker and Puyol singing lead? Nope sorry, it was a war that had been coming for awhile. Mourinho playing mind games with the press and referees lead to what happened yesterday. Did you expect Barcelona to sit back and get slapped around? Nope. We learned the “special” one’s game and tactics and utilized them just like he has been utilizing them all season long. Everyone can accuse Barcelona of being divers and drama queens but we learned from the best(DiMaria, Marcelo, and company). Mourinho might have gotten his way in the CDR final with his whining about never being able to finish with 11 men. Pep clearly demonstrated it with his conference and so did Barcelona on the pitch. Madrid wants to play dirty? So can Barcelona. Don’t like it? too bad. The student has become the teacher.

    22. Madrid wants to play dirty? So can Barcelona. Don’t like it? too bad. The student has become the teacher.

      ha! I really like your words… 😀

    23. I knew 5 clasico’s would be a bad thing, but i was just afraid i won’t be able to handle the intensity. But never did i think it will get to this.

      I knew the clasicos would be intense and exhausting, I never thought it’d get THIS ugly. At this point, I need a vacation from El Clasicos, and I’m not even in the country/being paid to cover it.

    24. Ha! Look at the good people like Kari, Kxevin, Euler, SoMa and all other bloggers that don’t get paid and actually cover the games because they are passionate about the game. How disappointing is it to see the ugliness that has been happening? I can tell you, its really annoying.

    25. is it comes to your mind that if Madrid play like Madrid we used to know (less physical, building attack after attack), the games will be different?

      I honestly think so…

    26. Forgot to add one thing. It’s really nice to see Abidal on his feet and back doing some ball work. Here is for a speedy recovery!

    27. here’s hoping he can play at Wembley, he deserves it very much, IF we progress of course… 🙂

    28. yes, I feel ashamed that my players dived and acted… that’s just embarassing…

      but I feel no shame that my club wants to defend the history, prestige and respectability of their members, fans, players, coaches and managers with their work and their efforts to win the Champions League in 2009.

      if Mou attacked ONLY the referee, said the referee was unfair, he made a mistake and ruined the game, that would be a problem between him and UEFA …not us…

      but Mou attacked our pride, our prestige, our title, our coach, our relationship with UNICEF dan UEFA… that we should be ashamed with our 2009 title… and we supposed to just accept it? why? because he is The Special One?
      I’m not gonna change my mind, Mou has crossed the line… full stop…

    29. “I’m not gonna change my mind, Mou has crossed the line… full stop…”

      Leaves very little room for debate, no?

    30. And I should note. It’s not if Mou deserves to be complained about but rather if it was the right thing to do at the moment.

    31. I don’t know with you guys (madridistas)…
      but if my coach behaved the way Mou did, I would feel embarrass…

      Pep could do the same when Inter eliminated us with lots of controversial referee decisions… but he didn’t…

    32. Bassam (my countryman, I think), I really hate for you to be in this position, but I can understand…

      I am not a fan of this administration running FC Barcelona, which is not a secret. BUT if there is one thing I hail, its this board determination not to tolerate bulling. Mou can try to bully small teams again (as he always do) and may be he will have a better luck with Sporting next season. Barcelona is too great for him to approach. This board is making sure to draw the lines, something the previous board didnt pay attention to, and this club became an easy target for any creature to attack. Those days are gone. This is one of the greatest clubs in world football (the greatest for me), and should be approached respectfully by everyone and anyone regardless what. We dont pamper special ones mental breakdown. Sorry. Not our job. We didnt hire him so we won’t manage his antics ourselves. The same as we took legal actions toward tabloids after years of bullshits, we will go for it all the way. Get the little kid back to his room before he cause you more troubles. Enough is enough.

      When you hired this guy as a coach, you knew what you were bringing to the farm. So you -as a club- carry the responsibility for it. You don’t? well, now you do, after your club announced that they back him in every word he said, and went as low as copying twitter impulsive reactions to the official website. I really hate it for a club like Real Madrid to get dragged to that level, even for being an immortal rival. But if instead of him being your coach -your way- you decided to end up being his club -his way- thats up to you. But again, dont expect us to generously slip to that slump. Sorry.

      I have nothing to do with how your team plays nor the image you want to promote about it, that’s your thing. Again, you saw it coming when you hired him. And you knew exactly where it will go. But there are limits. We are not going to tolerate his antics as well, because we didn’t hire him as well (Which is one of the reasons he hates this club most. An unfulfilled dream that will never come true. He just doesn’t fit the bill, and know you can see why).

      I’ve never defended diving. But after all the bullshit I am reading here and there, let me say this: If there was a time diving is understandable, its when Barcelona plays against Mou teams. His players turn to play like thugs and either you tackle back in an attempt to cause career assassination for the opponent or you dive to stay alive. Save me the preaching that you shouldn’t run out naked in the street even if someone start a fire in your house while you are taking a shower.

      But then again, what was your team’s reasons to dive? To manipulate videos and delete frames to show Pepe red card was not fair (and he should have taken two reds in one).

      There are so many reasons why different people try to bash this club in different ways. But to tell you the truth, I dont really care. We move on knowing that this is the tax of success. But patience has limits.

      If Real Madrid would have issued a statement directly after mou pathetic whining -at least to apologize for his UNICEF comments- may be, I would have accepted you argument that Barca shouldn’t have filled a complain.

      But they didint. They confirmed all the accusations. And if Barcelona didnt file it, it will mean that those accusations are true. Like me accusing you that you are a thief, and in return you just stay silent trying to smile before crawling to a corner.

      Someone need to pull the leash, but it all depends on who is really wearing the pants in your club these days.

    33. …and then Ramzi came, and then silence..
      Great post!

      “I really hate it for a club like Real Madrid to get dragged to that level, even for being an immortal rival. But if instead of him being your coach -your way- you decided to end up being his club -his way- thats up to you”

      I couldn’t agree more..

      Even I couldn’t imagine (and I do have a wild imagination) that Real Madrid would be THAT desperate, to shatter their image so badly!
      I’m starting to believe that perhaps they are more desperate money wise than I initially thought…

    34. Yup,I totally agree with you.As I said in my above post Mourinho has always attacked us even while playing in the league.The only El Clasico in which he accepted his defeat(perhaps thw whole in Liga) was the El Humiliació/La Manita.

  18. Spent an evening with a colchonero, trying to decide which of use hated Madrid more..turns out..he does

  19. I have nothing against Madrid and i even like few of its players. But Mourinho is systematically trying to create impression that none of Barca’s achievements are genuine. He has been at it for ages. And forget truth, if some one (and powerful at that) shouts something enough times, some people will believe. And this is the problem i have with the guy.

    After his latest rant and considering all that has happened, i just want my club to go after him with all their might. Let him prove how Barca was favored by referees with evidence. We have tons of evidence to prove otherwise.

    The guy is scum and a disgrace to soccer. For health of football, i hope Madrid fire him asap. Otherwise he is going to create so much poison between Barcelona and Madrid that he once great rivalry will take long time to rise from gutters.

    To be honest, i just want my club to play well and am not too bothered if we lose. But what Mou is doing is for me, taking a leaf about of Goebbels’ propaganda book and create impression on how lie is truth. Taking the highway is fine in most cases but sometimes you have to stand and fight. And i think it is time now that our players and club stand up to the shit mou and give him the response his kind deserves.

  20. If Real Madrid would have issued a statement directly after mou pathetic whining -at least to apologize for his UNICEF comments- may be, I would have accepted you argument that Barca shouldn’t have filled a complain.

    But they didint. They confirmed all the accusations. And if Barcelona didnt file it, it will mean that those accusations are true. Like me accusing you that you are a thief, and in return you just stay silent trying to smile before crawling to a corner.

    oh, Ramzi… you’re the man! 😀

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