So you’re worried about our lineup on Wednesday, are you? You’re all “Who will we play at left back? Puyol? Muniesa? Guardiola?” Well, fear not, cule, for I am here with The Answers. And not multiple Allen Iversons.
Obviously we’ll be lining up in a 2-4-4. That’s just one big “duh.” Because we totally vary our formation all the time and now will not be any different. So that’s how we’re going to combat their 3-man midfield: with 4 men. Math is super simple, y’all. At the front we’ll start Villa, Messi, Pedro, Jeffren, which is pretty much a given since together they’re MVP and you don’t leave your most valuable anything on th bench during a clasico. Even if it’s your most valuable weather rock, you put it out there! If weather rock is bleeding, it’s Pepe outside. And also Jeffren is there too.
In the midfield we’ll go with Alves, Xavi, Busi, Iniesta as we’ll want to outnumber them and really put the screws to them. Obviously Alves is a right back, right winger, and a right forward, but if you take the average of those positions, he’s right on the center line, making him a midfielder. Once again: math. It defeats all enemies. Except stupidity.
And so the defense. What to do? Easy peasy, folks: Puyol, Pique. Do you really need anything more than those two? We’ll outnumber them up front 8 to 7 and in the back, well, Puyol is worth half a dozen, so we’ll out number them there too, 7 to 3. It is foolproof.
And when Jeffren gets injured in the 37th minute, we can just put on Mascherano in defense and move Pique up front as another striker. We will so win like 4-0. And that is before halftime. And if somehow–somehow–they stay in the game and we need a goal, well, we can just move Mascherano up too because, again, Puyol alone would outnumber half their team. And that would guarantee another goal for us because, uh, Mascherano is some sort of scoring genius. I guess. He played in the EPL? Yeah, that’s it.
Genius!
If Puyol is worth half a dozen, then so is Messi, so actually we will outnumber them by another 5 players. That almost doesn’t seem fair. Almost. 😀
But I thought Ronaldo was the first, second, and third best player in the world, so doesn’t that even things out a bit?
Your argument is invalid. CRonaldo only has one Golden Ball. Messi has two Golden Balls. 2 is more than 1. Math doesn’t lie, Miguel! 😛
But how many PFA awards does Messi have? 🙂
Your argument is invalid. Those awards only apply to English Football. Also, they are made of silver. The Ballon d’Or is made of gold. Gold. Gold is scientifically proven to be better than silver. QED.
But Ronaldo cost €94m. That’s more than 31 Afellays.
Still invalid. Afellay is Dutch, and therefore worth at least 40 Portuguese. Also, did I mention that Messi has two balls made of gold? That makes him twice as expensive as CRonaldo. That’s just economics.
Blitzen is also drunk!
http://img.ffffound.com/static-data/assets/6/2b005d20e6c5c2486ed847455bc8cf4107ad6b3a_m.gif
Love your arguments Blitzen.
Miguel and Blitzen – you guys are too funny!
Ha ha, Good to see a funny bone in Isaiah. Love the blog.
This Messi video is epic, complete with RayRay commentaries…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2AemC0cwy0
Match squad (vs Madrid): 20 players. Puyol returns, Milito fit. Maxwell out. B-team players: Thiago, Montoya, Sergi Roberto
That answers a few questions.
Brilliant, Isaiah!
I completely agree with the line-up. Haha
One of our former youth, Rochina, is playing against Citeh for Blackburn right now.
And as I say that he gets stripped of the ball that leads to Dzeko’s first league goal, hehe.
He had a nice stepover that drew a foul on the end of the box, and one nicely taken corner.
Isaiah were you drunk and demented when you wrote this? 🙂
I think there’s a risk when you put too many players who tend to cut in diagonally on the wings, it increases risk of collision and injuries. 😛
Aside from that, I think we have a winner. Someone ought to ring up Pep and suggest this.
Brilliant! Thanks for the laugh. 🙂
Hopefully Puyol plays. He’d be a great addition to our defense.
What’s the use? EE have the upper hand :S
This review is one in a million.. hoping we bite off EE’s back ..break them down..terrorise them ..scare them and hunt them down this wednesday and send them where they belong…i am angry really angry with EE…
Go go go go Barca..time to show EE who’s the Boss…
Isaiah is a math genius, I tell you that…
so fear not my friends, with Puyol on the field, we completely outnumbered them…
10 others + 6 Puyol = 16 players…
and 16 > 10… that’s the math…
why 10? because Mou’s team will ALWAYS end up with 10 men….
so hell yeah…
cue the “we always play with less men” “gave up the draw with more men” “16 MEN?! PARKING THE BUS!”
I thought I hated math. I was wrong. I love Isaiah’s math. Beats DiffEq.
Nice lineup.But I dont think Pep will use this formation.It will be 4-3-3 but I wish to see some changes.
Isaiah from one cule to another a great BIG thank you for this masterpiece!