He doesn’t take it well.
FC Barcelona Members Meeting: 20:14 BCN time, Barcelona, Catalunya, Spain.
Short man with glasses walks on a stage to a podium with a microphone.
Bartomeu: Hello. This is VP Bartomeu. Our regime has a message for all of you, and if no-one has any questions—
Person in the crowd: [raises hands] I have one! Do your close friends *giggles* call you “Bart”?
Bartomeu: [grits teeth] Here is your favourite president! …Don’t give me that look. Now, Alexandre “Sandrusco” Rosell!
*Rosell walks in, waving to crowd.*
Rosell: Senoras y senores,
I come before you
to stand behind you.
And tell you something
I know nothing about.
which is Good Friday,
there will be a(nother) socis meeting,
for Catalans only.
Wear your best clothes
if you haven’t any,
and if you can come,
please stay at home.
pay at the door.
Take a seat
and sit on the floor.
It makes no difference
where you sit,
Joan Laporta will still have a fit.
Person in the crowd: I haven’t said this since the 90s, and I promised my mama I’d never say it again, but, hombre, you guys are wack. And that speech was mad weak.
Crowd ‘ooooohhhh’s. A moc, moc is heard in the distance.
Rosell and his
posse minion–err, members stand in shock silence. Slowly, Rosell turns red in anger.
Rosell: WHO SAID WE’RE WACK?! *looks around frantically. Eyes lock on innocent bystander* You said we were wack?! You take it back!
Innocent bystander: [looks in shock horror]…I-i didn’t s-say anything! I’m innocent! No habla
ingles espanol castellano!
Rosell: [glares at innocent bystander] You talking smack?! You gonna get smacked!
Innocent bystander: [meekly] N-no es me! Soy innocent!
Bartomeu: You sayin’ that he’s wack when it just ain’t so.
*Zubi enters the room*
Rosell: Zubi! Someone said we’re wack! W-why would they say that?! 🙁 I don’t think we’re wack!
Zubi: Well, there are plenty of reasons to be fair.
Bartomeu: [ignores Zubi] I think it’s wack to call someone wack.
Zubi: …When you sold the shirt, your Fabrelust…
Rosell: Who said we’re wack? I can’t believe that! They must be smoking crack, to say that we’re wack.
Zubi: …and when you manipulated the accounting results to say Barca was in bigger debt than it really was…
Rosell: [to no-one in particular] I am not wack, no matter what you say! …What did you say? D-did you say I’m wack?!
Person in the crowd: …Yes. Because you are. /smirk
Rosell: [stomps feet] I’M NOT WACK! I swear I’ll paint your eye black! ….Once I get my facts (straight).
Zubi: ….your general lack of morals….
Rosell: [spitefully] How can a person up and call someone wack? How many B-teamers will play for the first team? How many babies born will ever reach their dreams? And how can a person call another person wack?!
Bartomeu: For them to embarrass you like this in front of the general assembly, and undermine your authority as well…! We need to find the culprit!
Rosell: [smirks] And I’ve got the perfect idea! We’ll use that method on my lead!
Rosell, Bartomeu, and co: All the ladies in the crowd put your hands up!
*Ladies raise hands*
Bartomeu: Now all the fellas in the crowd put your hands up!
*Guys raise their hands*
Rosell: Now whoever called us wack put your hand up!
*Whackman raises his hand*
Rosell, Bartomeu and co: NOW EVERYONE ELSE PUT THEIR HANDS DOWN.
Rosell: Alright, who is left?!
*all look around except Zubi who is still listing off reasons*
Bartomeu: I don’t see any hands raised, sire–err, sir!
Rosell: [aghast] B-but that always wor–
Bartomeu: [interrupts] But look! Up there! Hiding behind the blau and grana striped…things that are randomly there!
Rosell: [gasps] Saboteur! [pounds fists on wooden podium] LA-POR-TAAAAAAA!!!
[I hate International Break too. But I love annoying Rosell. 😀 ]
[Also, I don’t own “Who Said We’re Wack” by The Lonely Island, in case you were wondering. Or the poem/speech above; I just manipulated it. And no worries about the song, it’s clean 😉 ]
[By the way, I hope you all know what wack means]
[And if you haven’t read vicsoc’s Bojangles post; read it. Read it now]
[Okay, I’ll stop now.]
[….Can you at least tell me if it was somewhat entertaining…? *puppy eyes* ]
[I don’t know if it’s possible, but I think I trolled my own post.]
[I hate international break.]