View from the Top

If you are an international billionaire like me, you may find the recent economic downturn a real downer. Once-pleasant occupations, such as ‘heir apparent to wealthy dictatorship / shady investment firm / big-city mayoral office’ are no longer promising. But that’s no reason to lounge about the VIP lounge. We’re playboys, right? So let’s play something!

Soccer is the world’s sport, and the world is our oyster. Why bother with those FaceSpace FIFA apps on your palm thingie? Sell your shares in EA Sports and get in the game with a real, live La Liga team! It’s frugal, it’s a franchise, and it’s a helluva lotta fun. Why, just ask our friend Ali Syed de Santander here:


Ownership comes with certain obligations (none, thank goodness, unduly onerous). First, you must enjoy a lingering, lovely Spanish luncheon with your opponent’s owner. Do not refuse a second helping of bull’s balls, or the chef will chide you for disrespecting his cocina. Just order another bottle of cava, and down the gilded hatch!


Once the tables are cleared, you may proceed to the stadium with your new friend. You must behave cordially, even warmly, with each other pre- and post-match, even if your captain has just keyed his coach’s Ferrari in the stadium lot. With all the cava you two have just imbibed, the bonhomie will flow freely. We’re all rich guys here, anyhoo:



Now, if you are indeed of royal lineage, it is advised that you leave off imperial accoutrements, no matter what the King of Burger does:

Although quirky headgear may endear you to your fans …

… come in handy should you lend a hand in stadium shower renovations …

… or even improve international relations (just don’t forget to don some decent threads over your BVD in your haste to make nice with your hosts):

Once the match is over, boogie down with your club like you were back at your favorite club on the Côte!

Your high spirits, business acumen and personable personage promise you a bright future in sports. Or politics. Or beyond!

Categorized as Barcelona

By SoccerMom

SoccerMom obsesses over FCB and this blog instead of grading papers, burning dinner and/or raising her small children. She blames a Spanish husband and easy access to Hispanic-targeted cable sports channels for her football addiction and consequent failure as a professor, housekeeper and mother.


  1. Btw I’m not nervous at all for tomorrow.

    We will beat the Arsenal. that’s nearly a given. which means we’ll score atleast one goal more. if its 1-0, we go on, if its 2-1 PKs, if its 3-2, that won’t happen. 🙂

    1. In the squad, not necessarily going to play. In fact he is the most likely one to be left out, if it isn’t Jeffren

    2. We have a shortage of defenders but have mids coming out of our wazoos, and he calls up an extra mid! Those painkillers must be something!

  2. Lol, RVP will apparently play tomorrow. Wegner says ‘it wasn’t a trick’, hahaha.

    1. That and vP and Cesc REALLY had stomach bugs and had to sit out their last NT games! Not buyin’ it!

  3. I just noticed the boys are all playing in short-sleeves. It must officially be spring!

  4. I am a little bit surprised that some of you are surprised that RVP was included in the squad. Once that news was out, i told my cule friend, hey, dont count on RVP not playing, this has happened before and will happen again. And there you go, RVP will either start or make a substitute appearance tomorrow. It’s all lame english tactical games. RVP requires different instructions than Bendtner would or Chamakh would. For example, i would play Adriano with RVP but Maxwell with Bend/Chamakh.

    For the few that were asking for Mascherano to be played at center back: The reason why that would not work is the fact that if bendtner/Chamakh do play tomorrow, then you will need to watch out for an aerial threat. Abidal is good in the air, but he is no Pique or Puyol. Mashcerano will get beat in the air by the power of gods creation, his height.

    As for playing Fontas/Bartra, as talented as they might be (seen them play for you guys a couple of times), putting them in a high profile game like this could be suicide. One mistake from them that costs you your CL season and it could mentally kill a young player.

    Blitzin, who i hope gets better, was asking if Madrid played better without CR7. The thing is, CR7 isn’t the same one of last year. He is actually passing more these days. Not as much as he used to, but he is passing more. That is why he has 13 assists to his name in all competitions. The reason why we played better is because one player was no longer the only tactic. We did not have to run the play through Ronaldo to form an attack, but rather had to look elsewhere.

    The biggest reason why we played better was the center of midfield. Granero started his first game next to Alonso in a while, and it made the difference. Granero is probably the 3rd best passer in the squad behind Alonso and Ozil. When you add that extra dimension, you sense that the teams passing has become better. Granero, surprisingly i must say, played behind Alonso. Granero is not the fastest player, and to avoid him getting caught out of position upfront, he played behind Alonso. This gave Alonso more freedom to roam forward. The more upfront Alonso gets, the more chances we create. Mou doesn’t agree with me and will probably never play Granero again. Mou wants a physically strong partner for Alonso ala Lass/Khedira. The price to pay for that is less creative passing.

    Good luck for you guys tomorrow. I just want to see some EPL ass kicked please 🙂

    1. Thanks, Bassam, I’ll be fine. Just having a nasty allergic reaction.

      As I mentioned above, neither Fontas nor Bartra can play tomorrow, since they are playing right now for the B team. Although I definitely think Fontas at least should be promoted this summer.

      I don’t know much about Granero, tbh. He doesn’t play much, does he? He looked good yesterday, though. Agree about the passing, sometimes you guys looked almost Barca-like yesterday. Up front, anyway. It was the first time in ages that I can actually say I enjoyed watching RM play. Ozil in particular was a joy to see.

    2. Exactly. Wenger always does that crap. “Zee player, ee was shot at close range wizz a bazooka, et ees dead. But, um, we will not rule him out for the weekend. It is a big match, and we will see.”

    3. Thanks Bassam! Luck to you on Wed. (My, am I getting anti-EPL! and Wenger is ticking me off so much right now that it’s gonna be longer for me to get back on the gooner bandwagon after Tuesday (maybe never if they go through tomorrow—but I’m spiteful that way))).

    4. never really expected Arsenal to play B squad. Regardless of all news, i prefer to play their best squad too. not to show overconfidence as i am in no place to, but it’s for the sake of the competition we all wanna see. if we can only beat them because they have more injuries than us, we will eventually be beaten by some other team because we won’t get all the luck in the world.

    5. I prefer it to be against their best, too(no excuses). I’d prefer it more if we had our best as well. But half the reason I’m ticked at Wenger is because (when they ARE NOT playing us) I’m an Arsenal fan(gives me something to watch on Saturday morning while I’m waiting for the good games). Wenger plays half healed players far too often and they all too often get injured worse!

    1. His second one was a bit lucky (or unlucky if you are the GK) coming off the post, but he’ll take it!

    1. If you believe the Twitterverse, via @barcastuff, part of our contract offer to Nolito included first-team status. Wonder what, if anything, that means for Krkic?

    2. ^ This.

      I suspect Jeffren will be out this summer and Nolito will take his spot.

  5. anyone smell a rat (or at least gamesmanship) with the inclusion of van persie in the arsenal squad?

    1. Could be a double bluff – wanting us to set up for RVP then leaving him out and going the aerial route on us 🙂

      When you know the opposition has both CBs out you’re going to want to fire crosses into the box. Which is why I’d still rather have a proper CB like Milito who knows the position than Busi who has to think his way through it.

  6. This is really a dilemma here: I absolutly despise Chelsky but I adore David Luiz and his cute little mob of curly locks.

    1. I watched the Chelsea Man United match. David Luiz was a riot. Love that guy.

  7. The defense won’t be huge issue if everyone is on. We played the CL final without Alves and Abidal, 35 year-old Sylvinho at LB, Puyi at RB, and Yaya at CB.

    With 98,000+ screaming cules, our fearless leader back on the bench, and our team ready to deixem some pells, we should go through, whether van Persie plays or not.

    Visca Barca!

    1. Yeah, I remember that game a lot in the last days. But we had one big advantage in that game, we had Puyi: the rock, the one-man-firefighter-police-I kick your arse when you are falling asleep-force of nature that is our captain. Never was he missed that much.

  8. Besides, Arsenal are quality and can hurt you any time, but didn’t they need a goal from an impossible angle and a defensive breakdown to score at home? It’ll be a different story at Camp Nou 😉

  9. The way this Guardian article tries to twist the words of Pep on Wilshere is disgraceful. Now every Arsenal fan is retweeting it and talking without knowing a thing.


    Compare that two how soccernet portrays Pep’s words and you see the difference.


    1. Type in “wilshere” on twitter search and you’ll see what I mean. Arsenal fans have taken the Guardian’s suggestions and ran with it.

    2. I don’t care. If they don’t have critical thinking skills, then they can just keep on being headless sheep who can’t walk in a straight line. Yeah, sickness makes me irritable; what of it?

    1. this is Sheena’s birthday?

      happy birthday, feliç aniversari, feliz cumpleaños!! 😀

  10. Wenger said RvP is definitely out for 3 weeks…
    but he make a ‘surprise’ comeback just one day before the match…
    it’s a miracle!! not…

    I remember a polling in Sport magazine,
    “do you believe RvP is injured?”
    more than half said no, it’s just a trick…

    so typical of Wenger…
    (why do you like Arsenal again, soccermomof4? LOL, I kid… :P)

    so freaking nervous… 🙁

    1. “(why do you like Arsenal again, soccermomof4? LOL, I kid… )”

      Same reason I love Barca and like the Spanish NT, style of play, nothing more. Actually, I don’t need an EPL team to make my sports life complete but I have friends who follow the EPL and having an EPL team to support makes that a little more interesting(and gives one something to watch on Saturday morning while one is waiting for the good stuff). Tried ‘pool(friends’ team) but I couldn’t do it. Arsenal has some of the “ooooh purdy” footy moments that I love. Our friends got us hooked on soccer and started us out with the EPL. Then they told us about this Messi guy. Came for Messi, stayed for Xavi( and Iniesta, and Dani, and Captain Caveman, and…)

    2. hahaha… 😛
      I can totally understand if someone loves Arsenal actually, despite their trophy drought, they really is more enjoyable to watch than any other team in EPL…

      but I’m just not a fan of Wenger… I like Kenny Dalglish or Carlo Ancelotti more… 🙂

  11. @ Isaiah: When will the preview be up? Did you have to edit the majority of it due to Wenger’s trick with RvP?

    1. Isaiah’s a little busy, but his preview will be up eventually (like later tonight). Kxevin’s posted a little sumthin’ sumthin’ until then.

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