Sometimes it’s just utterly impossible to wrap your mind around things. Here we see that a little faith can go a long ways…
Scene: A bedroom. A man stands next to the bed, talking on the phone. His shirt is soaked with sweat.
Sandro Rosell: [holding back tears] But it’s so hard to understand!
Voice on the other end: Listen, it’s not a hard concept. I’ll explain one more time. Listen carefully.
Rosell: Okay. I’ll try. [sniffles]
Voice: When a team scores more goals than your team, you lose the match. It’s the opposite of winning.
Rosell: But why doesn’t the team just score more goals?
Voice: It’s not quite that simple. Occassionally things don’t go perfectly.
Rosell: I don’t understand.
Voice: I know. Look, there’s the possibility that we won’t get through to the next round.
Rosell: How can you say that? That’s treason! Arson! It’s definitely something.
Voice: I’m just contemplating the ifs.
Rosell: I don’t wanna hear about no motherflamboyant ifs! All I wanna hear from your ass is, You ain’t got no problem, Sandro. I’m on the motherflatulence. Go back in there, chill them Catalans out and wait for the cavalry which should be coming directly.
Voice: You ain’t got no problem, Sandro. I’m on the motherflatulence. Go back in there, chill them Catalans out and wait for the Pulga who should be coming directly.
Rosell: You’re sending the Pulga?
Voice: Oh, you feel better, mothertchotchke?
Rosell: Sheeit Pep! That’s all you had to say!
[Rosell hangs up]
It’s easy to overreact to things when you’re not the least bit interested in the process of creating a winning team. It’s easy to get tied up in the Ws and the Ls from a strictly momentary position where you’re overjoyed or gutted, depending. And it’s easy to forget that those who are actually doing the winning and losing have their own thoughts about it. Linda wrote a good bit about it, so I won’t bore you with more of this.
All I’m saying is, if you’re sad about this result, you’re in Sandro’s camp. I’m kidding, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just joshin’ you! Stop crying. Please, please stop sobbing uncontrollably. Put down that knife. Everything will be okay. Oh you’re cutting onions.
I’m going to go now.
Translation: It’s true that in February we always have a dip…but it’s just to gather speed.