I was planning on surreptitiously posting my own liveblog for my first action as a member of the team with the hope that pandemonium would erupt. However, as Kxevin has outed me before I could cause trouble, I’ve decided to provide a bit of insight into the interview process to become a member of the blog.
As I walked into the room I was almost overpowered by the presence of the team, with Isaiah, Kxevin, Luke, Euler, and Soccermom sitting behind a large oak desk. Noticing that I was starting to sweat Luke kindly offered me a beverage to cool my nerves, and the interview began.
Isaiah: So first of all vicsoc, I must ask, are you a Catalan? If not, is either of your parents a current member of the blog?
me: Well, no. However I have been a soci for two years, if that counts for anything.
Luke: Don’t worry vicsoc, Isaiah is just trying to intimidate you, let me fix you another drink.
Kxevin: Tell us a little bit about why you would like to join the team.
me: I’m deeply passionate about this blog and I think the time has come for me to step up and contribute to keeping this the best blog about Barcelona around. I’ve noticed that at times the squad seems to lack a little bit of depth – after all the five of you are all playing a ton of minutes as it is – I figure I can give you guys some much needed rest.
Kxevin: So you’d be playing the Bojan role?
A heated discussion erupted concerning Bojan and his role in the current Barcelona squad, but it really didn’t differ from any of the discussions about Bojan that have been played out on the blog 500 times, so I’m skipping that part.
Euler: Moving on, let’s talk some tactics. If Barcelona Football Blog was a small sided football team, what would be your role in the team? Also, which player from the current Barcelona squad do you most resemble in your style of posting?
me: I consider my role in the team to be the same as my role has always been on the football pitch. I’m a hard worker who can keep the ball moving to the players with more flair, and I’m always willing to get stuck in on defense. I’m like Keita was last season – a water carrier on the team, but hopefully also an important piece of the puzzle. I don’t have the flair of Soccermom, the tactical acumen of yourself, the sheer attacking audacity of Isaiah, the shot stopping ability of Luke, or the stout defensive work of Kxevin, but I think I can offer something a bit different that will make the team even better.
Luke: That’s all nice, but what exactly will you bring to this blog?
me: Well, I’ve been running liveblogs since last season, so I would love to continue to do that. Other than that I’m not sure, I’m hoping to carve out a niche over time. I think the people who post on the blog bring a lot to the table, so I would love to know what they would like to read about.
Soccermom: Would you agree that the selection of the people who write for the blog agrees with the concept of the Ubermensch laid out by Friedrich Nietzsche?
me: uhhhhhhhh, yes? Wait, no? I have no idea.
Kxevin: Well it looks like things are in order, we’ll be contacting you.
Isaiah: Oh wait, there’s one more thing. We won’t be able to pay you the salary you are asking, as the blog is currently in austerity mode.
me: That’s fine with me. I’m more interested in working with this fantastic collection of talent than the money (take note Alves!). There is one thing though, I would like a no-transfer clause in my contract.
It’s a pleasure to be a part of the team. Don’t forget to register for easy posting, especially all you lurkers out there, I know you’re reading