Happy New Year from BFB to you and yours. It’s 1-1-11 and you know what that means! It means, uh, um, er, well, I don’t know. I guess it means we’re starting a new calendar year and by the time we get back to this point on our constant journey around the sun, things will once again seem totally different. It’s been an eventful year and I expect nothing less from this one. Please see our poll! DO IT!
And it gets started quickly, with a January 2 date with Levante, who come waltzing into town on the back of being demolished by Real Madrid to the tune of 8-0. And speaking of demolished…
Scene: A field outside of Barcelona. Men stand around in a group, stretching.
Gerard Pique: Sheshush Chrisht.
Bojan Krkic: What’s wrong with you, Gerard? Are you sick?
Carles Puyol: Shick of being show bad at keeping up wish me.
Pique: Shounded like a goosh idea a sheh time… [rubs his stomach then head]
Puyol: Shot for shot wish sheh Pushi? Happy New Shear, Sherard’s toilet.
Pedro: Good thing you’re already suspended for the game tomorrow.
Pique: I am?
Gabi Milito: How come I didn’t get an invite to these festivities?
Puyol: We dransh liquor, nosh blood.
Milito: Oh, okay.
Bojan: Who’s going to start for them? We’re doomed!
Mascherano: I’ll play linebacker!
Marc Bartra: Hey everyone, I’m going to be in the squad this weekend!
Pique: Yoush better not shcrew up!
Puyol: Happy New Year! Drinks on Gerard!
Puyol: Awoooooooo! [he and Pique run off foaming at the mouth]
And that’s how the training went this morning for FCB. The rest of the world was too hung over to really notice what was going on and, truth be told, it’s College Football New Years Day and there’s not much I can do about it. Oklahoma is on, after all, in the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl and I cannot be expected to pay attention to other things.
Levante is fairly terrible, but we can’t take them lightly. Bartra and Abidal are expected to start together and that should be enough to get us through as Levante doesn’t have an offense to speak of. Apologies for how short this is, but much more this coming week as I’ll be back in the swing of things and will have more time. Holidays are so harsh, you know?