Awwwww! Our own Lionel Messi has been appointed a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF, a charity that also adorns the front of our shirts.
The deal is that he trots around, makes magic and does things that bring awareness to the plight of the young’uns everywhere. He joins Shakira, Roger Moore and Queen Rania of Jordan, who are also in the UNICEF ambassador ranks. And personally, I would do anything that Shakira tells me to. I’m just saying.
–And speaking of shirts, recall that presidential candidate Sandro Rosell was thinking of
whoring out making our shirts available for corporate sponsorship. He has since reconsidered, in one of the quickest turnarounds since a Tasmanian Devil was given uppers. He’s all good with the UNICEF thing, after all. Imagine that.
–Our on-again-off-again Frenchman, Thierry Henry is fit and ready for battle against Valencia, if needed. Many will recall that last season, he had an okay match at the Camp Nou against Valencia, and Baby Kxevin bruised his hand, banging on a steel railing in exultation at his single-handed destruction. Of course, it was also Aleksandr Hleb feeding him a pass for one of those goals, so the times really were different.
–Remember Henk Ten Cate, Frank Rijkaard’s right-hand man? He quit. After his Al Ahly side took a 5-0 pasting, Ten Cate said “To hell with that. These guys are shit, and I hate to lose.” He actually said something a bit more eloquent. It is not yet known if his resignation has been accepted.
–In the “nasty rumors quashed” file, as quickly as it started, we said no way in hell would Bojan Krkic be used as a makeweight in any Franck Ribery deals. What are you, crazy?
—Eric Abidal is back in training, having begun the second phase of his recovery, consisting of running on the pitch. He was close enough to wave hello to his mates, and send Maxwell a note not to get too comfortable in his spot. Here’s wishing our French Greyhound a speedy recovery. Keita is also on the mend, and money is that he returns to the side for Valencia this weekend.
—Diego Maradumber will be coming to Barcelona to meet with Messi and Guardiola, probably to figure out why in the hell Messi is mostly brilliant for Guardiola, but shit for Maradumber. Those meetings should be interesting, and shortly thereafter, look for headlines in Sport about our latest rumored summer signing, as Maradona gives up coaching and comes out of retirement.
–We don’t just sweat blood on the pitch, yo. We’re also taking part in a campaign aimed at establishing awareness of blood donation as a life-saving possibility. Many of the players will line up to be the first in line, and a donation station will be set up on the Camp Nou grounds. Despite the rumors, Messi’s blood will not be available for just anyone. So get those thoughts out of your head.