You may not realize it yet, but this is the beginning of something special. I don’t mean there’s some budding bromance within the squad or that Crackovia has finally found a way to really make fun of Arda Turan that doesn’t involve throwing shoes. It’s the Champions League group stage! And I’m here with a rundown of all of Barcelona’s opponents, because that is basically the entirety of my job description here.
If you’re looking for a worse case of the trophy yips, you’ll be hard pressed to find one than “Neverkusen,” something that you may or may not want to bring up if you’re ever in mouthful of a German state known as North Rhine-Westphalia. Or standing in front of Michael Ballack in your (first) triplete shirt. Also, there’s Stefan Kießling, their Gumby-sized and shaped forward who seems like he’s been around forever even though he’s really only 31. You may remember him from being de-Jong-ed by Thiago Alcantara last season. Or you may remember him being a kind of gigantic hobbit. There’s even a regular podcast about them called Neverkusen; at least they’ve accepted themselves.
Did you know that ROMA spelled backwards is AMOR? It is! It’s true. It’s all true. Some guy named Luis Enrique managed them a few years ago. They had Bojan. Also this happened one time.
Header image from here.