Stats Comparison: Is Cesc Really the Best Buy?


Rumors have been rampant about our transfer targets for the coming summer. Who will we sign? How much are we willing to spend? Will cules be suckered into voting for a particular presidential candidate based on who he promises to bring to the club? Well, it’s been narrowed down a bit, so here we go, let’s compare the two major players currently in the Barcelona orbit to see who is the better fit.

Cesc Fàbregras Chad Ochocinco Advantage?
Cost? > €30m free!
Wants to come? Maaaaaybe (wink wink) Fuck yeah!
Capable of playing soccer? Yes and YES. Maaaaaybe
Opens new market to FCB? No, Vilassar del Mar is FCB country USA! USA! USA!
Speaks Spanish? Yes, natively. “Ochocinco” TIE!
Funtastic celebrations? Dancing’ fool Uh, kinda definitely.
Age? 22 32
Shirt number available? Taken! Open!
Canterano? Yes. No.
Plays defense? Sometimes. No, but could tackle the crap out of Crynaldo Tie!

So, then, let’s see what our total is:

Cesc Fàbregras:
Chad Ochocinco:

Final verdict: Chad Ochocinco is clearly the way forward for Barça. Not only would marketing increase dramatically within the US, but our goal celebrations would skyrocket in quality and the fan’s connection to the club via Twitter would be unparalleled.

Update! Reader Cesc Blanc has created a Facebook group! JOIN THIS GROUP OR BE LAME FOREVER.

By Isaiah

Isaiah is a co-founder and lead writer for Barcelona Football Blog. He currently lives in the greater Philadelphia area.


  1. You have the words “Cesc” and “buy” in the same sentence

    Why, Isaiah, why?!

    Oh, and I’ve already broken the news that Kobe Bryant’s really going to sign for us. Why? *WARNING: REPOST BELOW*

    Not only has he visiting the ground multiple times over the past couple of seasons; disclosed the fact that he is not only an admirer of Messi, but also has his picture in his locker** ; stated his love for Barca many times; he’s also been photographed wearing the Barca kit AND juggling a ball.

    Really, there is so much evidence we can no longer deny it. This whole Fabregas business is just a smokescreen to cover his impending signature.

    Look, there’s even PROOF!


    **Hector posted this link before. Nice article this: *

    But, I forgive you if you didn’t know. It IS still under wraps. You know, with Kobe sojourning in the NBA and all that.

    1. I knew about Kobe, but his contract with the Lakers isn’t breakable like Cesc’s or ending like Ochocinco’s. Therefore, it is not plausible at the moment.

    2. Keywords: At the moment.

      When have transfers, let alone transfer RUMOURS, ever been plausible?..Except this isn’t a rumour, of course.

      Besides, we sent Pau Gasol to ‘Los Lakers’, didn’t we*? How do you he wasn’t part of the deal?

      *Flawed logic? I laugh in the face of logic! I’m a ‘journalist’ working for the Barca media! After all, ALL Barca fans must agree with what Sport/EMD/AS/Marca/—oh wait, even idiots don’t believe them…do they? 😀

  2. I almost crashed while reading this, thanks Isaiah. You will be the death of me, this was too funny. Also thanks Alex for giving him the idea.

    1. You’re welcome! Don’t know if this was exactly what I had in mind, though. I’ll have to look back at the last post to see if there’s anything there.

      Quality, Isaiah, quality.

  3. I created a Facebook group btw. Feel free to join. Just look up for We want Barça to sign Ochocinco.

  4. If Kevin knows you’re “talkin’ ’bout Cesc baby” again and bringing the bad karma back, he’ll be doing keepie-uppies with your head.

    And everyone check out my new Barcelona blog! Three entries in so far, including a match review of Getafe and a few words about Seydou Keita. Hope you all enjoy it! I will make the posts shorter in the future, but hey, it keeps me from hogging the attention on blogs like these with the longest comments in the Western Hemisphere. Thanks!

    1. Your comments aren’t that long at all! And even if they are, look where it’s gotten the other long posters (i.e Hector and Ramzi– no offense guys! I love reading your comments! 😀 )

      Nice blog, by the by! I don’t think your posts are too long. The reason being that you’re analyzing the game WHILE you’re reviewing the match. Attention to detail is a good thing, and because the space is not very wide (i.e the beige coloured space), it seems like you’re writing a lot.


      Because the space is so small, I’d break up your review in two posts: one for just the simple overall retelling of the match, with some comments and opinions here and there to give it your own personal touch; and the second post for a more detailed analysis (e.g. breaking down the goals/tactics/etc.). That way, it won’t SEEM like it’s so long.

      The more technically stuff of blogging will come with practice, but all in all, it’s REALLY good! You know your stuff. If you wanted, your could work for–except people will notice the good journalism…

      …Just thinking about it, being linked to might be considered an insult 😛 . Didn’t mean that!

      Anyways, I really enjoyed it 😀 . Hope you keep at it!

    2. Thanks, Kari!

      One thing I can’t figure out yet is how to create a “jump,” so that from the homepage you only see the beginning of the post. I guess it does take practice.

      I’m doing it, ostensibly, to give potential employers something to look at if I decide to go into journalism or other sort of writing career–but I’m realizing that I need to write more “journalistically,” whereas right now I’m too used to research papers. In any case, thanks for the gratifying words-

  5. Alex i cant post on your blog cause i don’t have any of those accounts (can you make it easier to post comments), but good job anyways. Having said that, I believe you are an insane person if you think that Inesta is a long term replacement for Titi, THE ONLY WAY THAT WILL HAPPEN is if we do buy cesc to play next to Xavi. The problem here (if it really is one), is that may leave us with to many play makers, and not enough of real killers in front of the net; ) having said that, Kudos on the blog, i will be an avid reader, as I’m sure all of your friends here at BFB will be.

    1. Your support is appreciated, as is everyone’s–as for your comment, I don’t mean that Iniesta will be a replacement for Titi in the sense that he will take up the left-forward role, only that it seems the 433 is shifting around. If I’m correct, and if Guardiola’s increasing selection of Busquets/Keita means they are the future and the decreasing selection of Henry/Yaya means they are being phased out, then the roles in the system could be changing. I think, instead of the standard two attacking/one defensive mid system (mind you, simplified), it could become two defensive/one attacking, with Busi/Keita forming a double-pivot and allowing Xavi and Iniesta greater freedom up front. I watched the Getafe match twice, and I just felt that Iniesta’s playing so near to Xavi, while ostensibly being the left-forward on paper, was a sign of things to come.

      I’m not a tactician of Hector’s caliber (I’ll admit to remembering a thing or two he said about the double-pivot, though, when writing this), but it’s an interesting idea. I’ll admit that it leaves Messi’s role a bit ill-defined, but perhaps that will become clearer with time–if I’m right.

      The comments thing should be pretty laissez-faire now. We’ll have to continue this over there.

  6. Alright peeps, since we are talking crazy today let me put this out to you guys, i am interested in the responses.

    ***If there were absolutely no issues, bad relationship with selling club, work permit issues, cup ties, who would be starting at left wing for F.C Barcelona. Give me your top five choices in order.***

    1.Thong Boy (don’t ban me from the blog please)

    I know its crazy but lets see what people think!!!!!

    1. 1.David Silva
      2.David Josue Silva
      3.David Jimenez Silva
      4.David Vi–err, Silva
      5.David Josue Jimenez Silva.

      After Infinity +1. BOJAN!…Oh wait, he’s still with us. Sigh. Alright, David Villa will suffice. 😀

  7. nice!
    maybe you could compare our targets in the future for LW.
    lie the cost, versatility, goals etc.

    1. sounds like a plan

      Hey I started a blog today, as alex did. I would love for you guys to take a quick glimpse, and provide feedback for me. I need to learn how to set the jump…sorry

  8. I could totally dig a frontline of Ochocinco, Kobe, and Messi. Throw in Lebron, Steve Nash (dude can juggle), Ichiro, and Dwight Howard and we got a hell of a team.

  9. Word on the street is that all the best American athletes are starting tj grow up and think our sport may be a career option, so I could se the next lebron (and his 6’6″ 275 lb ass), as inesta’s understudy lol. Can you day hello world cup 2022, the USA has it in the bag, we do have the best athletes after all.

    1. Thanks, Lou. Amy Lawrence is a superb writer in general and covers a host of topics. I suggest anyone who loves the general game read her on a regular basis.

  10. To me the best buys are in order: ribery, silva, cesc. I wouldn’t mind getting “el guaje” villa either.

    The thing is that if everything goes like it’s supposed to go the french winger will leave this summer. I fell like then we will really need a winger. Ribery’s speed dribble and creativity have no match in any other winger but messi (thong boy always does the same showy tricks, god how I hate him). Can you imagine an attacking line of messi-ibra-ribery + yaya-xavi-iniesta???? o…m…f…g…

    note: Cesc is from “Arenys de Mar” not from “Vilassar de Mar”, he was just born in vilassar because tey have a hospital I think. My family is from Arenys so I had to step up 😉

    1. Fair enough about Arenys de Mar. I just quickly Wiki-ed and was like “Vilassar? really? That doesn’t sound right” but I trust the Wikis, so I put it in.

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