Live MBM: Getafe – Barça

Goood morafterevenight my dear global followers, and welcome to our live minute by minute report today’s matchup. Since the last MBM covered a game I wouldn’t have cared about had I watched it from the stadium with Shakira on my lap, I am certainly hoping for a bit more participation than the previous MBMs. This time round, so that you won’t have to juggle pages, you can write your comments in the comment section below, from where I will delete them and paste them into the reports. Also,  now that I am imagining the situation more clearly, Shakira on my lap would render any interest in a football match void, especially if she does that thing with her hips, but that’s neither here nor there. Where we are is:

getafe vs barca


Yes, dear culers and culerettes, today we are visiting the Alfonso Pérez Coliseum, place where our title hopes are either buried or kept alive, depending on the result we get there. Whenever we win at the home of Real M*drid affiliates Getafe Club de Fútbol, we win the title. And not to get your knickers in a twist or even your panties in a bunch, whenever we lose, we don’t. What does this mean? That we have a whole lot riding on a game in which we are missing la Pulga, O Ney, Victorian Secret and Professor X. Will be back with the line-up shortly.

Still waiting for the official line-up. Like I said, we are missing some seriously big guns out there today. The good news, however, is that this guy is back:

dani alves
And back in style, beeeyotch!

So if things were up to me? Pinto, Dani Alves, Piqué, Bartra, Alba, Busquets, Iniesta, Fàbregas, Pedro, Alexis, Tello.

Last season we visited Getafe on the 4th Jornada of the season. If memory serves me correctly, Messi started on the bench after traveling to South America for two WC-qualifiers. We won 4-1

And the first comment of the minute-by-minute day award goes to… PrinceYuvi!

“Thanks for the Hardwork you’re putting into this. Hail the great Lev !”

Just what the world needs, someone to feed by all-encompassing arrogance. Thank you for your kindness, dear Sir. Let’s just hope our team respects the hard work and compensates us with a win!

Forty minutes to go. The official line-up has been announced: Pinto – Alves – Piqué – Mascherano – Alba – Sergi Robert0 – Iniesta – Pedro – Cesc – Alexis. I would have preferred to see Bartra instead of the Little Boss and even the laziest readers will know my preference for keeping Fàbregas as far away from the false nine position as possible. Then again, they pay Gerardo Martino to run the best football club in the world, whereas they don’t pay me to write for the best football blog in the world. Life sucks like that.

Life also sucks for the best footballer of the world, Leo Messi. Sidelined in Argentina, watching the club he loves struggle, being accused in the media for avoiding taxes, laundering drug money, asking for pay raises every twelve hours and murdering Buenos Aires street children in order to sell their organs (okay, I made the last one up) a video has surged to wish him a speedy recovery. Featuring Maradona, Fábregas, Lavezzi, Falcao, Rijkaard, Martino, Neymar and many more, let’s all join and say “te queremos, Leo”

Wow! La Liga (mediapro) has blocked the 2012 Getafe – Barça highlights from our website but have left it on youtube where people can watch it freely. Unbelievable.

Peter chimes in with some much needed tactical insights:

I hope Busquets knows what’s expected of him. Of course, if he doesn’t get a yellow he should be rested next time vs Elche.

I’m glad I’m right(I think) about the Pedro-Alba combination. Hopefully we’ll see some major stretching of the Getafe right and (hopefully) diminished activity by Pedro Leon on the Getafe right wing.
Even though I’m surprised by Mascherano’s appearance(Bartra for me has better presence in the air, which will be useful for corners and set pieces, both defensively and offensively), Alves’s addition to the starting eleven is a good sign. Tata seems to be going for controlled chaos and stretching the flanks.

Hopefully that will ease the task of Cesc and Sergi Roberto.”

Very good point about Pedro-Alba, the Canarian’s defensive workrate will hopefully be compensated by the Catalan’s forward urges. Your mention of Pedro Leon does make me a little bit nervous about the Alba-Alves combination, though, as those two often leave holes in the back that even the most ignorant opponent coaches can exploit with the quick and cunny long ball forward. One point you make I must almost disagree with is the idea of Bartra having a presence in the air, as he often gets beat in this area of the game (the latest example of which cost us a goal courtesy of Villareal). Then again, you are comparing him to Mascherano, who couldn’t win a header in the pigmy juvenile league if you put lead in the boots of his opponents.

“Why on earth doesn’t Martino start with Bartra? Jeeez. He’s been our best defender this season imo”, yells emiljorgensen.

Just like I understand your feelings, I think Tata is too busy understanding his players’ feelings.

According to Peter:

“To add to the list of terrible things that “este senyor” has done over the years:

Scoring too much;
Making world-class footballers seem average;
Stealing a lollipop from a child(he must have!)
Winning a staring contest with Pep over the usage of carbonated beverages in front of witnesses;
Getting a tattoo which will mean he’s not able to donate blood;
Not being tall enough;
Swearing in Public While Under The Influence;
Kicking a ball at full force at innocent visitors who reminded him of his lack of height, his mother’s past jobs and questioned the parentage of Thiago Messi;
Being a false idol;
Representing an icon for drug users and drug dealers due to his wide-known “hormone treatment”.

Are you talking about Bojan Krkic?

Five minutes to the game. Time for a quick bathroom break, where I will, score, a hattrick.

My loving girflriend, showing a complete and utter unawareness of what it means to be a culé in these modern days and times, just told me to enjoy the match. Doesn’t she know that that depends completely on whether or not we score more goals than them?

minute 0 Barça, kick off in their senyera kits and immediately lose the ball. Getafe on the attack, Pinto intercepts the cross.

minute 1 Barça is under pressure as we lose the ball again and Pinto saves a low and hard long range shot. We play the ball forward, where Pedro (I think) gets De Jong’ed. Alexis steps up to cross in the free kick…

minute 2 … from which the ball somehow finds its way to Pique who shoots straight up against the keeper from three yards!

minute 3 That’s two yellow cards Getafe should have received by now, as they make their attention clear by kicking lumps out of Don Andrés. This game is not lacking in intensity so far.

minute 6 Barcelona smartly play the ball out of defense instead of hoofing the ball upfield.

minute 7 Getafe awaits Barcelona in their own half and lure for the counter.

minute 8 Piqué gives up the first corner of the match. Squeezy buttocks time.

minute 9 ¡GOOOL! In oceans of space Sergio Escudero dribbles his way up the left flank after receiving a smart backheel and cannons the ball past Pinto from up close. This game is going to be a tough one!

minute 12 We play the ball forward a lot, where we lose possession and give space to Getafe to counter. Our attack lacks a clear focal point. Why doesn’t Tata jerk his knee a bit and move Alexis to the center of the attack in a similar role he plays for Chile? In the meantime Piqué is forced to give up another corner.

“We don’t look promising, do we? If we do lose this one, I will not be terribly surprised. If fact, this staying 1-0 may be a good bet, unfortunately…” says Raj, who I hope hasn’t actually put any money on the table, because…

minute 13 ¡GOOOL! Lisandro Lopez goes completely unchallenged and heads in the corner kick. Getafe leads 2-0 after less than 15 minutes.

minute 16 This is terrible stuff from Barcelona, who look as Godawful on the ball as off the ball. Sergi Roberto needlessly gives up possession with a wayward pass.

minute 19 ¿Gooo…Noooo! Of course in games like this we will have legit goals called offside. Excellent pass by S. Roberto and finish by Pedro.

“Please delete any comments of mine that have appeared so far in the live MBM. 🙁 “, laments Peter. No can do, my friend. ÇHaving a hard enough time typing out this MBM report as it is without going back and deleting stuff. Should have read the instructions in the beginning.

minute 21 Barcelona is starting to attack with a bit more authority. We have 70 minutes left to turn this game around.

“Wake up for the Barca game to see us down 2-0. It seems like Barca is equally groggy…”, writes Ryan. Do you smell the coffee?

Ibbe acts as if there isn’t any live MBM report being written and tells us that a “Legitimate goal for Pedro ruled out for offside”

minute 25 Oh dear. Sergi Roberto makes an absolute shambles off of a simple Alves cross played to him in the middle of the opponents’ penalty area. I blame the senyera kit. We have only won one game wearing these colors so far.

minute 27 Again a terrible loss of the ball by young S. Roberto, who is having a bit of a stinker so far, unfortunately.

minute 28 A chance for Alexis comes to nought as he chooses to head Cesc’s excellent cross back across instead of at the goal

minute 29 Getafe breaks out on a dangerous counter. Three on three, Pedro Leon provokes Dani Alves to foul him, who gets carded for his effort.

minute 30 The free kick gets pushed out to a corner, the first of which Pinto punches out of bounds and the second gets worked into safety. Temporary respite for Barça.

“Martino looks uncomfortable.. I wonder if it has anything to do with his decisions..” comments Raj. Can you imagine the press he will have to face if we don’t turn this game around?

minute 34 ¡GOOOOOL! Cesc and Pedro offer a lifeline, as Fab Four slips in a through ball which the Canarian works into the goal. ¡Hay partido!

 “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLAAAAAAAAAAZOOOOOOOOOOO Pedro on fire!”, writes Stefan2k. Yes, thank you for that. Where would we be without you?

minute 37 Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! Sergio Roberto had the equalizer on his foot but blasted over from up close.

“Allowing people to comment instead of email is helping you get the juice you asked for Lev, yes?” asks Raj. Yes, but I should have taken some of that juice myself in order to better keep up with y’all! That’s okay, though, keep it flowing.

minute 39 Riveting stuff as Barcelona heaps up the pressure looking for the equalizer. Let’s hope we get it.

minute 40 ¡GOOOOLAZO! Pedro, with acres of space on the left flank, cuts to the right and blasts an unstoppable ball into the top right corner. I haven’t seen him score goals like that since the days he was known as P!

minute 42 ¡GOOL! With my hands still sore from clapping to his last effort, Pedrito scores his first from up close. Barcelona is up 3 to 2 in el Coliseo Alfonso Perez!

This is truly lifesaving stuff from the world’s most famous Canarian. And to think I would have played Tello instead of him!

minute 44 Busquets is left squirming on the pitch after a truly despicable challenge from Getafe’s number 24. Mallenco only gives a yellow card where he should have drawn red. Let’s hope Sergio recovers to play the second half.

“Sergi Roberto has to step up. Good to see barca waking up now”, writes Ibbe. He has not been having a good game, so far, imo.

“Sell Messi and Ney in wholesale, we have Pedrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllll”, according to Raj. Let’s not give him Zubizaretta’s job just yet.

“WHAT THE …. PEDRO!!!! GOOOOLOOOOOLOOOOOOOL“, cheers stefan2k, and “PEDRO, TE QUIERROOOOO!!!!“, screams Peter from the top of his lungs. He just might hear you, Pete.

“Wow!  I still kept the faith even though we weren’t playing great.  0-2 heading into the 35th mintue. 3-2 in the 43rd! PEDRO! with the exclamation mark definitely back.  All 3 quality finishes!” writes Messiah10. You’re a bigger man than I am, Messiah, my heart is still pounding with disbelief. What a game so far!

“That must’ve been one of the fastest hattricks in the history of the league. 8 mins! Pedro is such a badass!”, says Ibbe. Yes, sir. It is like having a prettier and faster version of Danny Trejo in attack. He just macheted the shit out of Getafe. Let’s hope we can take control of the game in the second half.

“It’s up there with the quickest.  Neymar had a fast one not to long ago.  I think it was 15 minutes”, answers Messiah10. Yes, but that was with a fifteen minute break in between. I wonder what is the fastest hattrick ever scored, though.

“Long time follower/troller/stalker; first comment on BfB !! I was having a nervous breakdown with us down 2-NIL. Phew, I can breathe now !! P.S. I cannot thank you guys enough for your insights and all the hard work that you do. I can only say that the first website I open everyday on my office computer is BfB :)” Thank you for your comment, rk206. Hold your breath for another 45 minutes, because it ain’t over until the bastard in black whistles.

minute 46 Speaking of which, the bastard in black is wearing grey today, and he just whistled for Getafe to kick off the second half.

minute 47 Castro takes the first shot of the second half, which mercifully goes far wide. Getafe is pressuring us so far.

“According to wiki: “Fastest hat-trick in La Liga: David Villa for Valencia FC, completed in 5 minutes (82′, 84′, 87′) against Athletic Bilbao in 2005–06” There’s that then. Thank you, Peter.

minute 49 Aaargh! Barça escapeds the equalizer. A more attentive striker would have tapped that ball in. At the other end Alexis tries from far. Not very effective, but we can’t blame him for trying.

minute 52 Barça playing a bit too vertically for my liking. I wouldn’t mind Xavi to bring us some well needed calm in our game… Oh, what? Never mind. Fully expect Song to come on Sergio Roberto at some point, though.

minute 53 Piqué gets a yellow card for leaning on his opponent to win the header. The resulting free kick leads to nothing. Pinto hoofs the gaol kick upfield.

minute 55 Masche gives up a corner under pressure. I am not liking this half, so far. Very similar to the first one

minute 57 Barça string more than ten passes together for what feels like the first time this game. It leads to Fabregas getting muscled off the ball, but Getafe no longer knows what to do with it and lose possession immediately.

“Alba’s been beat on his side a few times today. I’m not a fan of he & Dani playing together. This game calls for Adriano. I hope he’s an early sub by Tata”, writes Messiah10. To be fair, Dani Alves side has looked more vulnerable today. Still, I don’t like to see them together, either.

minute 59 Barça escape!!! The Piqué-led defense fell asleep there, and offered Getafe an excellent opportunity to draw. The shot blows wide, though.

“I’m still trying to figure out if Pedro is left or right footed. The goals resolved nothing”, comments Bill. It all depends whether you watch the game from the right or the left side of the pitch!

minute 63 In the meantime, a tightly marked Fàbregas heads the ball well over. That was a difficult cross to get to.

minutes 64 The space opens up a bit and Alexis shoots over from just outside the box. I’ll be honest and say a fourth goal would calm my nerves somewhat.

“Has anyone mentioned how bad this pitch is? I think this could be the worst we’ve played on all season! Hell, we played a 3rd division team in the Copa whose pitch was better than this. Getafe should be ashamed of themselves”, bristles  Messiah10. I’ve played on worse…

“Barça lost the intensity. I’m scared”, says Huckleberry. You mean that 8-minute intensity during which Pedro scored his hattrick?

minute 67 ¡GOOOOOL! Just when Getafe gets tired, Lexus chips a cross to Fàbregas who volleys the ball assuredly into the net. One, two, breeeeeathe.

“Wow. Cesc took that SO well! What a ball floated in there though! Beautiful. Love seeing Busi lead the break.”, notes Messiah10. Yes, that was a good goal it was.

minute 68 We almost get a fifth there. A wide-open Pedro lofts the ball over the keeper and the cross bar. Also, I think Fàbregas was slightly offside for his goal. Oh well, that compensates for the earlier S.Roberto/Pedro combo in the first half.

“OMG a kick to the back! Don’t mess with Pedro”, comments stefan2k. Yup, according to my girlfriend they almost killed him there.  It takes a Mallenco to not send any Getafe player off today.

minute 70 Penalty! MOTM Pedro can only be stopped with feet and claws. Cesc lines up…

minute 71 and coolly slots the ball into the net! GOL! Getafe 2 – Barça 5.

minute 76 The game has slowed down considerably, as both teams have lost their intensity. Barça is playing the ball around the park.

minute 78 Cristian Tello is getting ready to come on. Corner Getafe.

minute 79 Pedro comes off to cheers, boos and whistles. He sure looked like a mighty mouse out there today. Tello gets 10 minutes to prove his worth. Gavilán comes on for Laftin for our opponents.

minute 82 Alex Song getting ready there. He could have come on sooner, in my opinion. The Beardy Borja Fernandez sees yellow for kicking Busquets.

minute 84 Another yellow card, as Alexis Ruano takes down Alexis Sanchez from behind. Fàbregas comes off for fellow ex-Gunner Song.

minute 85 Busquets gets a yellow, I think for talking. Could it be to serve a suspension against Elche and have his availability all but assured against Atletico?

minute 88 Busquets off, Bartra on.

minute 89 Just as I am getting ready to wrap up this report, people are leaving the stadium. The match is petering out. What a comeback!

minute 90 Alexis receives the ball deep and aims the ball just left off the post. That would have been a cracking goal. Three minutes of extra time are given. Barça looking comfortable here.

minute 90+3 The bastard in grey blows the whistle. Barça win with a 5-2 that was a lot harder than the final scoreline would have you believe. False hope lived in the hearts and minds of three different sets of madrileños. Until Cesc scored the fourth goal after Pedrito’s hattrick, that is. FC Barcelona will lead the league into 2014, where hopefully we will have Messi and VV back in the squad. Signing off with the last MBM report of 2013, I thank you all for your comments and I hope you enjoyed it.

By Levon

Culé since way before football boots were of the neon yellow and lizard green variety, Levon is a deep thinker with increasingly shallow thoughts. He lives in Barcelona with his gorgeous wife and daughter. The lucky bastard...


  1. Merry Christmas to you all!! Kevin, kari , Michele, Mom4, barca96 (sidlowe 🙂 ) etc … the entire BFB crew. You made my year!!! Feliz Navidad

  2. Happy holidays to those who are celebrating them, and to those who just like it when everybody is running around all happy and stuff, treating their fellow man as they should year ’round.

    Many thanks to everyone who makes this site go, particularly the family, the voices that fill this space with wit, barbs, contentiousness and everything else. You all make us better, and it’s appreciated.

    And I have to say that for those seeking a Christmas miracle, our beloved team is top of the table, and has been without various folks for the past TWO MONTHS, including Xavi, Alves, Alba, Valdes, Messi, etc. Had you told me such a thing would be possible, even given a relatively favorable schedule, I would have said you were crazy, and I am about the most optimistic culer I know.

    Here’s hoping for more joy in the New Year.

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