Yes, I know, I haven’t done awards in a while. I’m sorry, but you can’t force these things. Genius cannot be coerced. 😀
Happy Ritual Turkey Slaughter Day to our American readers, btw. Hope you have an excellent holiday with your friends and family. Here are a few things about our team you might be grateful for:
Gunga Din Award: See below picture. He’s a better man than you are.
Zees Ees Fashun Award: Sorry Tito, you’re no match for the mighty Unai this time! That scarf was a slam-dunk. Honourary mention goes to our entire team for the endless permutations of sleeve-lengths, undergarments, gloves and snoods presented for our enjoyment.
From Russia With Love Award: Spartak Moscow, for generously declining to score on several occasions in order to present Victor Valdes with that rarest of gems, a clean sheet. Russian hospitality at its finest!
Gooseberry Award: Speaking of Russian hospitality, apparently Cesc had an issue with trying to use the wrong passport and was detained at the airport for several hours. The commentators on my stream were speculating that his temporary visa might expire by half-time and get him deported. 😀
MOTMOTMOI Award: Xavi controlled the match from start to finish. Other players had very strong games, notably Dani Alves and Jordi Alba (again!), but Xavi was really the lynchpin of the midfield that allowed Cesc and Iniesta to roam and do what they do do so well.
A Moveable Feast Award: I have given Andres Iniesta so many awards that it seems logical that I should just give him one award in perpetuity. In a metaphoric sense, Iniesta himself is a moveable feast that will remain with us wherever he goes. If you somehow still have not seen this outrageous piece of magic from the game, go watch it and you will see what I mean.
Green Green Grass of Home Award: OK, so the plastic pitch wasn’t nearly as craptastic as expected. In fact, the players said that aside from the ball bouncing a bit differently, it was very similar to grass. Still, for me there is no substitute for the real thing.
I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! Award: What Victor Valdes must have been thinking when confronted with that Russian “superfan” who has his face tattooed on her shoulder. He’s smiling in the picture, but you know he must have the creepy-crawlies on the inside.
Pete Seeger Memorial Banjo: La Masia. It hasn’t happened yet, but it is entirely possible that sometime this season we will field a first team XI consisting entirely of home-grown players. Not for show, not because we can, but because they are the fittest & best tactical choices available. That is amazing.
Little Xavis from the farmhouse
Little Xavis made of tiki taka
Little Xavis, little Xavis,
Little Xavis all the same
There’s a pink one and a brown one
And a small one and a taller one
And they’re all made out of tiki taka
And they all play just the same