Even Royal Whites Get the Blues

There are different kinds of sad.

A. One kind of sad is from spending too much time happy. This is the kind of sad everyone feels at the end of the July festivities in Pamplona, when they gather in the town square singing “poor me, poor me, the fiesta de San Fermín is over.” Then they collectively pass out.

B. Another kind of sad is more dignified. Even manly. It honors a loss, and effort expended. This is the kind of sad everyone feels when they lose a European soccer championship to a vastly superior club even after scoring a meraviglia of a penalty in the match before.

C. The last degree of sad is Rick-in-Casablanca sad. This is the kind of sad you feel when the only love of your lonely life, who happens to look exactly like Ingrid Bergman, is leavin’ on a jet plane with a tall, dashing freedom fighter to liberate occupied Europe while you are looking at life on the lam with an oily appeaser named Louis – that is, before World War II breaks out.

I think Cristiano might rate his current state of sad somewhere between B and C, even though it belongs somewhere closer to A, IMO. IHOP.

In a hallway convo with reporters last Sunday, Cristiano sighed deeply. “People know why I didn’t celebrate my goals,” he said. “I don’t do that when I’m sad.”

Sad? the reporters clamored. Is that why? And “people know why”? What “people”?

Sadly, no one seemed to know. “I don’t know,” said Gerard Piqué. “We didn’t know until we saw it on TV,” said Gonzalo Higuaín. “I don’t know what kind of sadness he has,” said Andrés Iniesta. “I’m happy,” said Xabi Alonso. “I could care less,” muttered David Albelda.

No one, that is, except Jorge Mendes. “Cristiano’s statements are based on reasons that I know about. It’s up to Cristiano himself to divulge them,” the agent intoned mysteriously, as if his star’s feelings were a portent from of the Book of Revelation, as opposed to a Facebook status.

Then, a clue. “It’s a professional reason,” Cristiano divulged. “I won’t say anything more.”

He added, “I’m sad.”  And then, “I’m not going to say more.”

And then he added, “It’s not that I’m mad at anyone. The club knows.”

Then the star striker skipped training with the Portuguese selection, so as not to say any more.

Professional reasons! Reasons regarding his profession! Insider club professional reasons! Let us unprofessional outsiders speculate!

You know, maybe it’s just the name. Marca noted that the great but quite sensitive Ronaldo complained about feeling a little “triste” himself because the Bernabeuers never embraced him warmly, regardless of how round and comfy he was. Later the Barcelona-Inter-Madrid star would play his own “Crying Game” in a Turkish hotel. A sad turn of events, indeed.

And, once again, Dad is mad. JoMo has been critical of his team lately, accusing them of lackluster play, waning energy and all around low mo-jo. I mean, the guy threw every last forward out against Getafe in hopes that someone would score – thereby leaving the entire mid-pitch wide-open for a mid-table team to sneak two past St. Iker. It’s not that Mou’s plan was nuts; it’s that his players have psychological problems. No me gusta.

It’s not as if those who don’t show him the love show him the money, either. Cristiano ranks in the bottom 10th of the top-ten wage earners in European football at a paltry 10m euros per year. That’s a lower allowance than the all other guys, Mom,  even Ibra, Rooney, Agüero  … Messi. That leaves Cristiano in, like, the bottom 0.000001% of the top 0.0000000001%. So even though most folks these days Occupy little more than the next stall, perhaps Cristiano feels the pang of economic injustice. And it hoits.

If not moolah, how ‘bout a little silver? Could it be that Cristiano pined for UEFA’s Best Player award, only to witness yet another prize go to another little person in a blue-and-red jersey? I mean, have you seen that trophy? Check your Armani underwear ads. Who most resembles the UEFA Best Player? Cristiano, his torso rippling with abs and pecs, or the skinny guy with the receding hairline and melatonin deficiency? Geesh.

Then again, as Alvaro Arbeloa gently reminds us, “Everyone has the right to feel sad.” Even rich, handsome, and talented everyones. After all, “money doesn’t buy happiness.” Maybe, just maybe, you hard-hearted cold-bloods, “he needs a little more love from everyone. We’ll help him however we can.”

Then Alvaro offered Cristiano his favorite teddy bear. Stuffed with euros.











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SoccerMom obsesses over FCB and this blog instead of grading papers, burning dinner and/or raising her small children. She blames a Spanish husband and easy access to Hispanic-targeted cable sports channels for her football addiction and consequent failure as a professor, housekeeper and mother.


  1. ooga aga
    September 9, 2012

    even royal whites get the Blues…in the champions league draw (i.e. “Blues” = mancity) haha

    great work SoMa xoxo

  2. September 10, 2012

    Watching Messi’s free kicks lately, it looks like he is becoming a kind of expert from those kind of ranges. That’s a great improvement. Now we should stop seeing Alves thumping the ball to Row Z from those distances. If he can get good at free kicks from edge of box, then no one can stop him or Barca. Especially Opponents foul our players more at the edge of box. That was what made Ronnie so dangerous!

    • swamidigital
      September 10, 2012

      When it comes to Messi though, it’s probably always better to foul him outside the box than to let him beat you, regardless of how good he gets on his free kicks! But yeah it’s great to see him and Xavi with two amazing, absolutely perfectly placed free kicks.

  3. lyd
    September 10, 2012

    SoccerMom <3

  4. September 10, 2012

    Zdenek Zeman also took the opportunity to explain the sale of Bojan: “Bojan is a good player, but the problem we had was that before we went away on pre-season training, his entourage asked for a guarantee that he’d get a substantial amount of playing time this season, and I couldn’t guarantee that. And, apart from the fact that he was also injured, he’s a player who wanted regular 1st team football and just wasn’t patient enough.”


    Looks like Bobo’s people are making trouble again. I can understand the boy wanting to get regular playing time, of course, but it has to be earned through hard work in training and results on the pitch. Not demanded by your entourage.

    • September 10, 2012

      That there’s a lad who is not in touch with reality.

    • September 10, 2012

      It begs the question, though—what sort of guarantees did he get from Milan regarding playing time? One assumes his people wouldn’t accept just swapping one bench for another.

    • September 10, 2012

      Can’t see Uncle Fester giving any guarantees in that regard.

  5. Lev
    September 10, 2012

    “That there’s a lad who is not in touch with reality.”

    Yeah…So much has been obvious ever since his comments about Guardiola not giving him enough opportunities, lol.

    Milan is the worst move of his career. He should have moved to a smaller club than Roma. Or maybe a smaller league.

    I’m sure he could be a star in Liechtenstien :p

    Seriously though, Holland (Ajax) would have been perfect for him 3, 4 years ago, and it would still be.

    I also understand that Roma still hasn’t paid the 12 million yet, but it is due next summer. And then we will pay Roma 13 million. Maybe we can sell Bojangles for 1 million and break even?

    • simple_barcafan
      September 10, 2012

      What if he succeeds in Milan (Hey! why not? 🙂 )..Do we keep him?

  6. simple_barcafan
    September 10, 2012

    Rumors that our away kit will be the Senyera next season..Hoax? its-int’l-break-so-let-us-invent-some-crazy-news journalism? RoSELL politics?..ahh..well..something to keep the mind occupied..

    • G6O
      September 10, 2012

      Would be nice – I have wanted to see that for years. However, this year’s kit is already in similar colors so I would expect to see the return of the blue or green next year (which I absolutely hate). Still, this year’s kit may be a prelude to us wearing a Senyera as it combines those colors on our shirt for the first, just not in the form of stripes, it’s a question of whether it’s going to be next year or some year after that

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