There are different kinds of sad.
A. One kind of sad is from spending too much time happy. This is the kind of sad everyone feels at the end of the July festivities in Pamplona, when they gather in the town square singing “poor me, poor me, the fiesta de San Fermín is over.” Then they collectively pass out.
B. Another kind of sad is more dignified. Even manly. It honors a loss, and effort expended. This is the kind of sad everyone feels when they lose a European soccer championship to a vastly superior club even after scoring a meraviglia of a penalty in the match before.
C. The last degree of sad is Rick-in-Casablanca sad. This is the kind of sad you feel when the only love of your lonely life, who happens to look exactly like Ingrid Bergman, is leavin’ on a jet plane with a tall, dashing freedom fighter to liberate occupied Europe while you are looking at life on the lam with an oily appeaser named Louis – that is, before World War II breaks out.
I think Cristiano might rate his current state of sad somewhere between B and C, even though it belongs somewhere closer to A, IMO. IHOP.
In a hallway convo with reporters last Sunday, Cristiano sighed deeply. “People know why I didn’t celebrate my goals,” he said. “I don’t do that when I’m sad.”
Sad? the reporters clamored. Is that why? And “people know why”? What “people”?
Sadly, no one seemed to know. “I don’t know,” said Gerard Piqué. “We didn’t know until we saw it on TV,” said Gonzalo Higuaín. “I don’t know what kind of sadness he has,” said Andrés Iniesta. “I’m happy,” said Xabi Alonso. “I could care less,” muttered David Albelda.
No one, that is, except Jorge Mendes. “Cristiano’s statements are based on reasons that I know about. It’s up to Cristiano himself to divulge them,” the agent intoned mysteriously, as if his star’s feelings were a portent from of the Book of Revelation, as opposed to a Facebook status.
He added, “I’m sad.” And then, “I’m not going to say more.”
And then he added, “It’s not that I’m mad at anyone. The club knows.”
Then the star striker skipped training with the Portuguese selection, so as not to say any more.
Professional reasons! Reasons regarding his profession! Insider club professional reasons! Let us unprofessional outsiders speculate!
You know, maybe it’s just the name. Marca noted that the great but quite sensitive Ronaldo complained about feeling a little “triste” himself because the Bernabeuers never embraced him warmly, regardless of how round and comfy he was. Later the Barcelona-Inter-Madrid star would play his own “Crying Game” in a Turkish hotel. A sad turn of events, indeed.
And, once again, Dad is mad. JoMo has been critical of his team lately, accusing them of lackluster play, waning energy and all around low mo-jo. I mean, the guy threw every last forward out against Getafe in hopes that someone would score – thereby leaving the entire mid-pitch wide-open for a mid-table team to sneak two past St. Iker. It’s not that Mou’s plan was nuts; it’s that his players have psychological problems. No me gusta.
It’s not as if those who don’t show him the love show him the money, either. Cristiano ranks in the bottom 10th of the top-ten wage earners in European football at a paltry 10m euros per year. That’s a lower allowance than the all other guys, Mom, even Ibra, Rooney, Agüero … Messi. That leaves Cristiano in, like, the bottom 0.000001% of the top 0.0000000001%. So even though most folks these days Occupy little more than the next stall, perhaps Cristiano feels the pang of economic injustice. And it hoits.
If not moolah, how ‘bout a little silver? Could it be that Cristiano pined for UEFA’s Best Player award, only to witness yet another prize go to another little person in a blue-and-red jersey? I mean, have you seen that trophy? Check your Armani underwear ads. Who most resembles the UEFA Best Player? Cristiano, his torso rippling with abs and pecs, or the skinny guy with the receding hairline and melatonin deficiency? Geesh.
Then again, as Alvaro Arbeloa gently reminds us, “Everyone has the right to feel sad.” Even rich, handsome, and talented everyones. After all, “money doesn’t buy happiness.” Maybe, just maybe, you hard-hearted cold-bloods, “he needs a little more love from everyone. We’ll help him however we can.”
Then Alvaro offered Cristiano his favorite teddy bear. Stuffed with euros.