Banquillo 8: Intro Music

Episode 8: In which the season begins under Tito, theme music is discussed, and a “surprise” visitor flees in terror.

Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: Welcome to a new year, everyone!
Tiiitoooo FreshPrinceofBellcaire: Hey, boss. I’m excited to get this project underway.
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: And with that in mind, I’d like to introduce the new members of our squad.
Jordi AlbaAndTheChipmunks: Moc moc!
Pique Number1DraftPique: That’s my line!
Pique Number1DraftPique: /punches OneHoteChile
Alexis OneHoteChile: /falls down
Alexis OneHoteChile: /holds face/td>
Busi PowerSerg: That’s my line!
A Song UneChanson: Bonjour mes amis!
Xavi ProfessorEquis: Bienvenus!
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: I don’t know what language you’re speaking, but it sounds like trophies to me!
Xavi ProfessorEquis: We’re speaking French. Alex is from Cameroon. I’m trying to make his integration with the squad easier by communicating in his native language.
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: It was a joke, I meant it as a—nevermind. How about this one: I got a great deal on an excellent player. Eat your heart out, Laporta!
Xavi ProfessorEquis: Joan Laporta was president when we spent €10 million on Yaya.
YAYA ToureDeForce: HELLO.
Cuenca BeLikeIke: I just pooped myself.
Cuenca BeLikeIke: Twice.
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: Jesus, I forgot how big you are, Yaya.
Valdes VíctoryIsMine: What, did he just apparate next to you in your office? LOL.
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: Yes.
Valdes VíctoryIsMine: Okay then.
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: Settle down, everyone, we need to be more direct in our approach to these chats.
Puyi CaptainCatalunyaViscaelBarca: Less chit-chat, more CRUSHING.
Masche JavierCakeAndEatItToo: Yay!
Pique Number1DraftPique: I bet Isaac has a crush on a girl!
Cuenca BeLikeIke: /blushes
Cuenca BeLikeIke: I do not!
Puyi CaptainCatalunyaViscaelBarca: No, the other kind of crushing. That you do to people’s souls with your foot.
Masche JavierCakeAndEatItToo: Yay!
Cuenca BeLikeIke: I do! It’s so cute and then I cuddle with them and—
Cuenca BeLikeIke: /sobs
Masche JavierCakeAndEatItToo: Glorious.
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: The season is about to start, you know.
Puyi CaptainCatalunyaViscaelBarca: /scores
Sanro AlexandreTheGreat: I totally saw that coming!
Messi PulgaMyFinger: /scores
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: I totally saw–
Messi PulgaMyFinger: /scores
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: I totally saw–
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: Yeah, we all did. Every single human on earth saw that coming.
Pedro! JustWingingIt: Whicka whicka duh-duh boom
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: What? What are you doing?
Pedro! JustWingingIt: I thought because no one can tell us apart even in HD, I should come up with some nifty intro music whenever I appear onscreen—we can call them Beats by Pedro!
Pinto WahinMakinaciones: They forgot about Pedro!
Cuenca BeLikeIke: Why would anyone forget about Pedro? He’s an integral—
Pedro! JustWingingIt: Ya’ll know me, still the same ol’ P!
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: No, no intro music.
Messi PulgaMyFinger: Not even if it’s Oasis?
Messi PulgaMyFinger: oh, also /scores
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: Not even if it’s Oasis or Coldplay or whatever it is that I like.
Cuenca BeLikeIke: /sobs
Puyi CaptainCatalunyaViscaelBarca: Cannibal Corpse!
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: No.
Pinto WahinMakinaciones: Me!
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: Tempting.
Pinto WahinMakinaciones: Really?
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: Absolutely not.
Masche JavierCakeAndEatItToo: Archangelo Corelli.
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: What?
Xavi ProfessorEquis: Archangelo Corelli was a 17th and 18th century Italian violinist and composer of Baroque music.
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: I…actually knew that, but I was wondering why Javier thought that would be good intro music…you know what? I don’t want to know.
Masche JavierCakeAndEatItToo: It’s better that way.
Cuenca BeLikeIke: /shivers
Messi PulgaMyFinger: /scores
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: We have a series of big games coming up that we have to prepare for. Madrid, Valencia, PSG—
Pique Number1DraftPique: Uh, mister, we don’t have any games scheduled against PSG…
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: The Champions League draw is soon. Our group will contain PSG.
PIque Number1DraftPique: Well, I mean, maybe—
Puyi CaptainCatalunyaViscaelBarca: It is known.
Cuenca BeLikeIke: Creeeepyyyy!
Cuenca BeLikeIke: /shivers
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: Oh great, now Isaac thinks there are ghosts in the Champions League pots.
Cuenca BeLikeIke: I can’t stay up that late to watch anyway. Maybe when I’m older! But it would be scary.
Pique Number1DraftPique: It happens at 2pm?
Cuenca BeLikeIke: I know!
Messi PulgaMyFinger: Can we play some more football now?
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: Yes, please.
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: I am going to try to sign more amazing players for my amazing squad! Our branding will be unstoppable!
Cuenca BeLikeIke: Yay! Wait, branding?
Xavi ProfessorEquis: Branding means—
Messi PulgaMyFinger: /nutmeg
Pique Number1DraftPique: Olé!
Xavi ProfessorEquis: Oh no he just didn’t. Game. Freaking. On.
Puyi CaptainCatalunyaViscaelBarca: It is war!
Masche JavierCakeAndEatItToo: Yay!
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: Shouldn’t Messi wear red like quarterbacks in NFL practices?
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: That would be a disaster. Puyi would smash him like a bull into a novice matador, Masche would basically just go insane with bloodlust and probably snap several innocent bystanders in twain, and Busi would think something had happened to him and fall over clutching his face, Isaac would faint, and while Messi would still score somehow, the consequences could be fatal to thousands.
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: I see…has this been found out through some sort of theoretical lab test or…?
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: Eyjafjallajökull: direct result.
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: Wait, how can you–
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: There were a series of tests run throughout the week after on where Puyi had rampaged and the results were highly conclusive that geothermal energy plus the permafrost in Siberia combined—
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: –pronounce that word?
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: Eyjafjallajökull?
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: I knew you were the man for this job.
Tito PrinceofBellcaire: I am going to go plan strategy now.
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: You do that. I will stay here and man the fort.
YAYA ToureDeForce: HELLO.
Sandro AlexandreTheGreat: On second thought, I hear that the boardroom needs…dusting…
Lolthisguy TheRiddlerAndTheJorquera: What’s up everybooodyyyy! I’m all about this retirement thing. I can drop by practice and—
Lolthisguy TheRiddlerAndTheJorquera: Oh, thanks a lot. I like it too. I got it on sale at—wait, red shirt? This isn’t red. This is, uh, uh, oh crap.
Lolthisguy TheRiddlerAndTheJorquera: /runs
Puyi CaptainCatalunyaViscaelBarca: /stampedes
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Written by:

Isaiah is a co-founder and lead writer for Barcelona Football Blog. He currently lives in Germany with his wife and daughter.


    • Ryan
      August 29, 2012

      The VV saves against Drogba and TB never get old. 😀

  1. Jafri
    August 29, 2012

    Loved TheYaya!

    Can’t wait for tonight. I just hope they don’t score first. Although, I really get the feeling they will.

    Damn you, pessimism!

  2. Gogah
    August 29, 2012

    What the F!
    Vilanova has been suspended for 2 games!

    • Srini
      August 29, 2012

      And Coentrao has been handed a 4 game ban as well.

      RFEF hasn’t done enough to give up its stupidity as yet.

      • August 29, 2012

        Protesting a ref not calling a foul: 2 games ban

        Insulting a ref in a parking lot: 0 games ban


        • mom4
          August 29, 2012

          Imagine how severe the punishment would have been had he done something truly heinous like wear a shirt with a thankful message on it while protesting the non-call.

          • August 29, 2012

            They should start gouging people’s eyes out. That shit never gets punished..

        • Josep
          August 29, 2012

          This year/Last year.
          There’s actual rules now.

      • Richzorz
        August 29, 2012

        Yeah seems odd that his ban carries over into the Super Cup, I forget did Pepe get a 4 game ban for his “son of a bitch” rant at the referee in Madrid’s match with Villarreal last season?

        • Richzorz
          August 29, 2012

          Found it, Pepe got a 2 game ban – perhaps referee’s are clamping down a bit this season? (of course I’m sure some rival fans will see that as favouring Barca…)

    • nzm
      August 29, 2012


      The whole Primera card count over the past weekend was obscene.

      Only 3 games out of 10 ended without Red or 2 Yellow/Red expulsions.

      In total:
      Yellows: 67
      Reds: 5 (of which 2 were in the Osa – Barca game)
      2 Yellow/Red: 3

    • Gogah
      August 29, 2012

      after all this we will still have to put up with the refs-helping-barca bullshit.

  3. Roberto Senyera
    August 29, 2012

    I’m really looking forward to beating those guys today (or at least winning the tie) ladies and gentlemen. It doesn’t matter to me what the competition is — hell, it could even be horse shoes or ping pong — I always wanna get one over them guys.

    Three points:

    1) Let’s hope VV doesn’t have another Exxon moment. I’ll be at my favourite establishment having either pints of Guinness or red wine. Seems like a red wine day to me today. However, I’ll also bring with me a bottle of Pepto Bismol just in case Victor goes Exxon.

    2) We’re all going to die!

    3) Visca Barça!!

  4. Leckan1
    August 29, 2012

    “Official: Vilanova has been suspended for two Spanish league games after being sent off in the Liga game against Osasuna on Sunday #fcblive”


    Apparently it’s ok to poke someone in the eye but not to tell the truth?

    • Helge
      August 29, 2012

      Well, I honestly welcome the decision of the RFEF.
      Coentrao gets a 4-match ban. So maybe they finally start to punish more strictly.
      It has always been a joke how RFEF handled major gamesmanship, be it a brutal foul or a verbal abuse.

      IF they stick to their new line of punishment, it will only do good.

      • August 29, 2012

        Add to that the Getafe player who was suspended for protesting one of our goals, saying Sanchez was clearly offside. It seems that RFEF is dealing with the refereeing mediocrity by punishing anyone who dares speak out against it.

        • nzm
          August 29, 2012

          Think you mean the Osasuna player?

          Strangely enough, the Getafe – Madrid match had the least cards awarded out of the 10 matches last weekend. If Coentrao hadn’t been red-carded on the bench, the match would have only had 4 Yellows. How odd!

  5. August 29, 2012

    A few points:

    1. I really want to win today. Not just because it would be Tito’s first trophy in his own right. Not just because beating Real Madrid & celebrating a trophy in their own house would be as sweet as honey. I want the win just to see the look on Mourinho’s face when his team comes up without a victory for the fourth game in a row. He can talk all he likes about it being a minor trophy & of no importance in the fight for the league title, but a loss today would be a serious psychological blow and show that there are major issues in his team. And it would royally piss him off. Marcelo crying would be an added bonus.

    2. I don’t understand why JDS is being so stubborn about leaving on loan. Of course he would prefer to stay, but Tito has already told him he won’t get many minutes if he does. Does he really want to sit on the bench for a whole season and get maybe 200-300 minutes in CdR games? At his age he is willing to basically sacrifice a whole year of his playing career because he refuses to see what is best for him? Afellay at least has accepted his situation and is actively looking for a club. It’s sad, but these things happen in football and you have to make the best of what opportunities you have been given.

    3. Speaking of Bartra, has anyone noticed that no one is talking about him leaving anymore? It’s Fontas who is going (or maybe not). Bartra established himself very quickly as higher in the pecking order than Fontas, and that is certainly not entirely due to Fontas’ slow recovery from his injury. Tito obviously sees qualities in Bartra that he doesn’t in Fontas, and sees him as a better fit for the team.

    4. I really don’t want Puyol to play today if at all possible. I think this is going to be a very physical game, and I’m afraid he could take a knock that will make the injury worse. I know the man is fearless, but one bad elbow, even accidentally, could really injure him seriously.

    • Josep
      August 29, 2012

      Yeah I don’t like what JDS is doing. He wants to fight for his place, cool, but someone else is offering you temporary time to impress us..

      Bartra is probably seen as the 4th CB now, and should get some time. When’s the first CDR round? 😀

      • August 29, 2012

        They haven’t set the date yet (of course!), but I think end of October. Preliminary rounds for lower leagues should be starting around now.

        • Roberto Senyera
          August 29, 2012

          Today and tomorrow from what I can see.

          • August 29, 2012

            JDS is nuts. He can go to Sevilla and do very well there. But I don’t presume to know how difficult it must be to leave a club such as FCB for a place that isn’t as successful/posh/etc, etc,.

            –Bartra has pace. Fontas doesn’t. Bartra also seems to have better decision-making skills and is very calm on the ball. And he isn’t even fully cooked yet.

            –I’m actually ambivalent about winning today, even given the opponent. I wasn’t that stressed about losing the Copa to them, I’m probably even less stressed about losing the SuperCopa to them.

  6. Josep
    August 29, 2012

    A bunch of signings going on, Moussa Dembele to Spurs? I know the name, but that’s it does anyone know what type of player he is?

    Javi Martinez is off for 40m to Bayern. Jesus. Apparently HE has to deposit the 40m, so he’s going to get taxed on it I believe.

    • August 29, 2012

      Dembele is the kind of player who is making Modric bang his head against the wall, saying “Shitshitshitshit!” He’s a very active attacker who also defends. Think of a combo Alexis Sanchez/Samuel Eto’o. There was a rumor that he was going to RM, and I am glad that didn’t happen. Dude is the business. Excellent feet, very good first touch, firecracker shot from distance, still developing as a player.

      More succinctly, I’d be thrilled if he was coming to us.

      That Martinez thing is crazy. I figure Bayern will make it all up to him, but still. The taxman gotta get his, right?

      • Josep
        August 29, 2012

        I don’t understand the first sentence…

        So he’s a wide midfielder? Odd that they’d sign him then, they have Giovanni still..

        • Roberto Senyera
          August 29, 2012

          My understanding is that he’s a DM in a 4-2-3-1 with Fulham. He has the legs and creativity to roam forward from a holding position yet has the strength and physicality to be a solid defensive MF. He’s quite versatile from that standpoint. To be honest, I haven’t seen much of him but this is what a lot of pundits are saying about him on podcasts. Some pundits are surprised that ManU didnt go after him because that is what they sorely lack. Other pundits are saying that van der Vart is expendable now even though they don’t play the same position and are very different types of players.

          • Josep
            August 29, 2012

            Well VDV has been expendable, and has personal terms agreed with HSV, the thing is Spurs want 18m (I think..) and the offer is around 13m? But if that’s the case that puts Dembele as a more forward player, an AMC rather but Kevin seems to make me think he’s an AML/CF while you say DM.

            I’m so lost.

          • Roberto Senyera
            August 29, 2012

            Wrt VdV, I just don’t think AVB sees him as part of his plans/project. The Spuds will be making many late transfer window moves this week. Therefore, the acquisition of Dembele isn’t to replace VdV per se.

          • Roberto Senyera
            August 29, 2012

            Also, from squad sheets from both the Guardian and soccerway he was positioned as a CM/DM in a 4-2-3-1 at the Old Toilet (Man Utd).

            He’s definitely a highly regarded player from this fine crop of Belgian players. Expect Belgium to make a splash in WC qualifying and beyond.

          • Josep
            August 29, 2012

            I don’t know about all that, this Belgian crop has been performing for some time.. Vermaelan, Vertonghen, Alderweireld, Kompany have been around for years. Add Raingolan, Fellaini, Hazard, Lukaku, Mboussafa, etc….and they still missed the Euros.

            I mean they had the reigning EPL, Ligue 1, and Eredevisie (Probably even Belgian) player’s of the year last year.

      • mom4
        August 29, 2012

        Every time I see Modric I think of Prince Herbert from Monte Python and the Holy Grail. I’m weird; I know.

  7. August 29, 2012

    Off topic, anyone here from the DC/Northern VA area? I need to find a bar to watch the game this afternoon…

    • August 29, 2012

      I can’t tell you about a specific bar but Dupont Circle area has a lot bars and shops among other things. Or you can try Adams Morgan area (though, it’s too far if you coming from Northern VA via metro). Or you can go to the Georgetown area (near Northern VA). Also, there are a few bars along Connecticut Ave (near the White House) that show soccer games (not sure if they have Spanish games though).

      • August 29, 2012

        Thanks! I think I’ll go to Summers, since I’m in Arlington.

    • Ryan
      August 29, 2012

      I’ve been going to the DC Penya in Elephant & Castle to watch recently. Not much room to sit unless you’re a member and reserve, but if you don’t mind standing, it’s decent! TVs aren’t that big though.

      • barcapanda
        August 29, 2012

        I second the Elephant and Castle and the DC Penya! I’ve only watched one match there when I was in DC for a conference, but they are a fun crowd! Although Ryan is right–it might be standing room only, and the TVs aren’t really big. That said, I think the company definitely makes it a worthwhile trip!

        • mom4
          August 29, 2012

          E&C for sure. Get there early, it’s a clasico and you might be standing the whole time( supporting penya members can reserve tables). 19th and I street, get out Farragut West on the Metro.

          • mom4
            August 29, 2012

            Oh, and happy hour starts at 4:00 there…just in time for the game!

  8. Lev
    August 29, 2012

    More pointedly…does anyone know if I can stream / download the match AFTER it is played, since I will miss it due to work today 🙁

    The simpler the solution the more welcome it will be, because the internet is slooow at home and I’ll ask my gf to start downloading as soon as it is finished 🙂

    • barcapanda
      August 29, 2012

      Rojadirecta has a download matches forum (with no spoilers!). I’m sure it will be on there.

      • Lev
        August 29, 2012

        awesome i will check there to see what to do…do people usually put the matches on right after they finish or does it take a long time?

  9. Roberto Senyera
    August 29, 2012

    Does anyone else find it a bit weird that Modric goes from Tottenham to EE and Song goes from Arsenal to FCB? Tottenham are Arsenal’s most hated rival while LWBs are our most hated rival. As Captain Kirk (William Shatner) would say, “Is that weird, or what?”

    Is that a case of serendipity? Or rather just coincidence?

    At least Modric remains in a lily white top 😉

  10. andres ito
    August 29, 2012

    really, dembele is that good?? ive never seen a single clip of him…

    and since you brought him up…samuel eto’o..i have never missed watching a player more, than samuelito eto’o..

  11. andres ito
    August 29, 2012

    sweet–d.c. heads in the originally from columbia, md…

  12. andres ito
    August 29, 2012

    my option was…to go to sleep at around 11pm..then wake up and watch the game live at 5am local time….or…i just stay awake until 5 am…somehow i chose plan b..:/

    • August 29, 2012

      Mm….you might regret choosing plan b. Go take a nap. There are still a few more hours left.

  13. mom4
    August 29, 2012

    A major problem with not being able to access the loveblob is that I haven’t heard if Xavi_purr’s a momma yet! Has anyone who has been able to access it heard anything from her?

  14. nzm
    August 29, 2012

    Lineup the same as the first game:

    Alves Pique Masch Adriano
    Xavi Busquets Ini
    Alexis Messi Pedro

    • Jafri
      August 29, 2012

      Still no Alba? I would have thought they’d keep him on and make him attack, leaving Alves a little back to contain Ronaldo…

  15. Blau-Grenade
    August 29, 2012

    Barça lineup: Valdes – Alves Pique Puyol Alba – Cesc Busquets Iniesta – Alexis Messi Tello

    • Blau-Grenade
      August 29, 2012

      Interesting that I got this from Twitter. I guess the sources there can’t be trusted.

      • nzm
        August 29, 2012

        Just got mine from Catalunya TV3 – hope they weren’t wrong!

        • Blau-Grenade
          August 29, 2012

          Your lineup is correct M. I got mine from some source called FCB_Indonesia in twitter. Now that I see the chatter there most of the sources point to your lineup.

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