Son Of Blitzen Awards Returns!

Yes, I’m back! Well, I never really left, but you know what I mean. Here are some lovely blitzen awards to ease the sting of losing the Mini Clasico today:

MOTM Award: If Iniesta had played the entire game the way he did in the 2nd half, the award would have gone to him, no question. As it is, I’m giviing it to Pedro, who is well on the way to earning back his punctuation. He has been in brilliant form since even before the preseason, and I am thrilled to welcome the real Pedro back to the team!

Red Hot & Blue Award: I don’t know exactly what the temperature was in the Camp Nou on Thursday, but from all reports it was very very hot. And humid. To the point where the players looked like they were standing in the middle of a rainstorm, that’s how much they were sweating. This is when I realized that I actually really like the new kit. It’s a slimmer fit than the last couple of seasons, and when it’s all shiny wet and clingy, it’s really very flattering. Jury is still out on Tequila Sunrise.

That Old Black Magic Award: I also noticed that in spite of the heat, Pique still insisted on playing in long sleeves. This is a superstition of his from way back, and while it is certainly not the craziest one I have come across, I can’t imagine he was comfortable with it.

Cheaper By The Dozen Award: At least I assume Tito has gotten a wholesale deal from Banana Republic (or whatever is the Spanish equivalent) on those plain black short-sleeved shirts he seems to have made his uniform of choice. Personally I think he looks great. It’s a classic look, he is comfortable, and let’s face it, he’s just not a suit guy. Gok Wan approves.

Got Your Nose! Award: Apparently Xavi’s goal celebration of holding his nose was not a reaction to the stench of 60,000 sweaty cules in the humid cauldron of the Camp Nou, but a tribute to the kids at his summer football camp. Either that, or his girlfriend’s name is Pinocchio.

Night Of The Long Knives Award: Dani Alves finally shaved! Thank the gods and Sweeney Todd. Unfortunately, there was some collateral damage in the form of Tello, who is suddenly completely bald. Not that it looks bad on him, but (remembering Cesc’s hair disaster from last year) you have to wonder what sort of bizarre hazing rituals go in that dressing room.

Master of Puppets Award: Sergio Ramos just really likes picking people up like ragdolls, doesn’t he? First he and Arbeloa tag-team Villa in this famous incident, and now he unceremoniously hauls Alexis to his feet after Sanchez goes to ground in the box. I have to admit I don’t blame him this time. Alexis was diving all game long and it was just embarrassing. Please Tito, make him stop! He is a fantastic player and an all-round great guy and I hate that he constantly does this. (It also pisses me off that the English commentators constantly refer to Busquets as a diver when Alexis is a hundred times worse. Gah!)

Trollhattan Memorial TOTM Award: Mourinho, of course! “I’m not going to complain about the referee’s terrible mistake because I don’t talk about the referees anymore.” OIC.

Stop! In The Name Of Love Award: Did you see how angry Alexis got when that pitch invader tried to hug Messi? Dude is lucky he still has a face! Do not try to break up a Barça Bearhug ™ or you WILL regret it.

Mi Casa Es Su Casa Award: Sergio Ramos, for helping himself to a bottle of water from one of the Barça medics bags while Pedro was being attended to. No, I don’t have a problem with it, obviously, the water is for anyone who needs it, it just struck me as funny. Knock someone down, then steal their water for good measure!

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Canadian, cule, corporate wage slave. Came late to the beautiful game, but fell under FCB's spell in 2006 and never looked back.


  1. replayed
    August 25, 2012

    My love for Pedro(!) is immense, and his two touches for his goal were superb, but I thought Iniesta was just as brilliant in the first half as he was in the second. It’s just that Madrid left him more space at the back to work in the second half.

    He misfired one long pass to Alves after doing some fancy footwork in the first half, but aside from that, I thought he was faultless.

  2. BarcaOwl
    August 25, 2012

    Lovely, lovely blitzen awards. Thank you very much, blitzen. 🙂

  3. Xavi6
    August 25, 2012

    love your posts .

    Why no award for Valdes ??

  4. Jafri
    August 26, 2012

    I loved Pique in this game. Loved to see him all over the pitch, making vital interceptions in defense and playing as a false nine/ a left winger/ what have you.

    Of course the fun only lasts till he’s caught out of position and they counter at blistering speed, but he was the best part of the match for me. Good to see the ’10-’11 Pique back.

  5. nia
    August 26, 2012

    Alexis was on the ground more than Bojan, lol. It was really getting annoying that once he couldn’t beat his man, he went to ground. On the other hand, Arbeloa did tangle his leg in the box and i do believe that was a penalty.
    The buthers of Madrid did get away with a lot of hard tackles as well, with Alonso being the culprit with those cynical fouls on Busi.
    I noticed Ramos also wears long sleeves so, does that cancel out Pique’s superstition?

    • Helge
      August 26, 2012

      Maybe the long sleeve superstition is the reason why Ramos and Piqué allegedly don’t get along with each other too well? 🙂

      Piqué might reproach Ramos with copying his superstition!

  6. August 26, 2012

    Son of what? Oh. never mind.

    Lets see how long Mou’s no whining policy lasts. I’m guessing Wednesday.

    Hard to expect anything while watching Barca B now. Defense? What Defense?. And Eusebio has made it a point to leave fans flabbergasted at his decisions. He needs to

    Hope we put the game to bed early tonight..

  7. Ben
    August 26, 2012

    Have any comcast subscribers heard when they are going to start carrying Beinsport? I don’t see them yet in my channel listing

  8. ooga aga
    August 26, 2012

    where is everyone?

    alves pique puyol alba
    cesc iniesta
    messi alexis tello

    • Ryan
      August 26, 2012

      Tello over Pedro, eh? Hooray for Alba though!

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