blitzen awards, the fruity cocktail edition

Here is your last lot of blitzen awards for the season. I hope you enjoy them, and thank you for all the positive feedback. This is definitely mes que un blog!

My Heart Exploded Award: This was one of the first blitzen awards ever given out, for Iniesta’s joyful leap into Messi’s arms during the CL second leg match against Arsenal in the 2010-2011 season. I had a similar reaction to Iniesta jumping onto Messi after his goal in the CdR final. Pure joy and happiness and no player deserves it more.

Waka Waka Award: Wasn’t it nice of Pedro to celebrate his second goal by flashing Pique’s 2-2 hand signs in honour of Shakira? How sweet. 😛

MOTM Award: I really don’t want to single anyone out. You could tell from the first moment the team stepped on the pitch that they were determined not to let Pep’s last chance for a trophy slip from their grasp. No one was going to be responsible for losing this cup. If I have to pick, I will give it to Pedro, for the most improved player. He worked his little butt off and scored two gorgeous goals. This is the Pedro! we have been waiting for all season, and his excellent performance has even earned himself a callup to the Euros!

R E S P E C T Find Out What It Means To Me Award: What a lovely gesture for Puyol to borrow an Ikurrina (Basque flag) from someone in the crowd and take it on a victory lap along with the Catalan Senyera. It’s so nice to have a rival like Athletic Bilbao. The way the Basques and the Catalans respected each other on and off the field was…refreshing, no?

He Ain’t Fonti He’s My Brother Award: Puyol & Fontas switched shirts, I’m assuming at Puyi’s insistence. Because he’s just like that. He has kind of adopted Fontas, making sure he feels included despite his injury, taking him out with the moc moc crew. Exactly the sort of thing we have come to expect from our Capita.

John Terry Memorial Award For Sportsmanship: Speaking of which, I guess Puyol’s arms must just be tired from all the years of lifting trophies, as he insisted Xavi do the honours. Of course, Xavi being Xavi, he insisted right back, but finally bowed to his captain’s wishes before they could come to blows over it. 😀

Copa Del Rey Abidal Award: And here it is:

El Caganer De Las Zonas Técnicas Award: I think we have found a new nickname for Bielsa.

Flavor Flav Memorial Timepiece for Superlative Swag: Pinto! For making customized SwaggaSunglasses for all the players and taking pics with all of them, even Xavi & Iniesta!

Job Well Done Award: This was a difficult season in many ways. Injuries, fatigue, pressure all took their toll. But Pep says this team played the best football they have since he took charge 4 years ago. They ended the season with 4 of the 6 trophies on offer, advanced to the semifinals of the Champion’s League, and came within striking distance of catching up to Real Madrid in the League. And they did all of this playing beautiful, technical, attacking football that was a joy to watch. All I can say is Thank you team, Thank you Pep, Thank you to all the technical, medical, and support staff. This team gives us so much, we can only be grateful for everything.

Heigh ho, Heigh ho, It's off to Euros I go!

And a few bonus awards from yesterday’s charity futsal game. If you missed it, you should be very sad because it was a ton of fun for everyone involved.

Lionel Messi Award For Being Lionel Messi: Victor Valdes, who revised his jersey with the help of a bit of tape to read Messi 10, and proceeded to be a monster for both sides playing as a pivot.

Send In The Clown Award: Pique, for being the hammiest hamster that ever hammed it up (and scoring great goals in the process, I must add). He was clearly having the time of his life playing to the crowd. Here is a typical Pique moment.

Life Is A Cabaret Award: The Autonomous State of Catalunya, for proving that they are the world capital of cheesy song-and-dance numbers. Seriously, if they were allowed to compete in Eurovision, they would have it all sewn up!

Mes Que Un Goalkeeper Award: Let’s see, you all want a tall, mature player who is content to sit on the bench and come in and be our goalscoring Plan B? Look no further than Pinto! He scored a beauty today, charging out from his goal into the opposition’s box and putting it away with style! Done and done.

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Written by:

Canadian, cule, corporate wage slave. Came late to the beautiful game, but fell under FCB's spell in 2006 and never looked back.


  1. BarcaOwl
    May 28, 2012

    Lovely, lovely blitzen awards! Thank you so much, blitzen. 😀

  2. May 28, 2012

    Looking at that picture of the Copa again, you should give Pedro! the Sergio Ramos safe hands award..

  3. Humphrey Bogart
    May 28, 2012

    Phantastic blitzen awards, like always. The futsal game as well as the CdR finale was double as fun as the borefest that was the CL finale, Pique surely had the time of his life. Good to see that he has picked up some kind of form, he will be crucial for next season

  4. nia
    May 28, 2012

    I liked the charity match yesterday coz it showed the true characters of the team, particularly Pique’s. I guess Pep really had his hands full with him in the dressing room.
    VV is actually a good outfield player, maybe next season we should switch it up a bit. 🙂 Pique as CF, VV in midfield, Messi in goal. The opposition won’t know what hit them.

  5. May 28, 2012

    Exactly one year ago today, Barcelona won the CL trophy at Wembley. Such a wonderful memory!

    And thanks for the Blitzen awards, Blitzen! Pedro looks great in that picture.

      • dean
        May 28, 2012

        I’m grateful, the first video that might not have been recorded with a potato

  6. May 28, 2012

    So quiet here…Hello!

    So in the soccer/football world, Eden Hazard just signed for Chelsea for a reported fee of 32 million pounds and 6 mil. for his agent. That figure is incredibly high. How is he compared to hmmm…Neymar in terms of talent?

    This transfer also leads me to think of ours. Obviously, we don’t have a sugar daddy to support us. And the club is operating in Spain, which is dealing with some major banking/sovereign debt crises.
    So what does that mean for our ability to buy players this off-season? I don’t envision the club having 50 mil. euros of transfer money sitting in a saving bank. They might have to borrow, but with the crisis in Spain, will any bank allow our club to take out a huge loan? I might be way off with my assessment, but real life situation just seems so dire, and it would have some effects on Spanish clubs.

    • dean
      May 28, 2012

      With Barcelona and Real Madrid, they have access to deep credits lines you would think, if anything would curb the spending it would have to be FPP or Rosell’s balance the budget approach. I doubt the rules would apply to these two clubs.

      • barca96
        May 29, 2012

        I have been saying that Hazard and Miniain are better Neymar for many months now.

        I would have loved us to sign Hazard but little did I know that he demands so much. Extremely high wages and no. 10.

  7. Messiah10
    May 28, 2012

    Watching the link Blitz provided for Pique’s shenanigans made me think, “Oh dear! Those Away kits are more horrendous in real life then they are in pictures. It’s going to be hard to watch away games next season! What were Nike, FCB Board, and Rosell thinking???

    • barca96
      May 29, 2012

      I know it’s very cool to take potshots at Rosell here and all the other Barca-blogs, but please stop blaming Rosell. I don’t think that he was alone in the decision making. He is not a dictator.

      • Clouseau
        May 29, 2012

        True it must be someone of the Marketing Camp who is responsible.But i feel Nike is overusing Barça as trendmaker and becoming more and more lazy on designing footballshirt’s etc. Really shows why they are behind Adidas and been caught up by Puma.They lost influence in Football..

        • Messiah10
          May 29, 2012

          Not just FCB. Look at Man. U’s kits that they’ll be wearing. Looks like a table cloth. Horrid.

      • May 29, 2012

        It isn’t a question for many of us of it being “cool” to take potshots at RoSELL. He has done some things right, and many things wrong. The shirts are among them. He is the club president. If he didn’t like the shirts, or if he at all heeded the clatter of disapproval for those designs, he absolutely coukd have said “I’m not jappy,” and things woukd have gone back to the drawing board.

        He isn’t a dictator. But he is a ruler with a completely complicit board, which is tantamount to the same thing.

      • Messiah10
        May 29, 2012

        Kxevin summed up what I was going to say as well. I’m not taking “shots” to be “cool”. He is the President of FCB. I will say confidently, w/out having evidence to support it, that he definitely saw a sketch/example of what the kits would look like before Nike was given the OK to proceed. He probably saw multiple. Which makes it even worse. As we say in the States, “The Buck Stops Here”. He’s the Buck. I will also mention that I didn’t single him out. I mentioned Nike, the FCB Board, & Rosell.
        When you run for elected office and are chosen President your responsible when good things happen and bad things happen. Most Presidents bring in their “own” people. The ultimate responsibility resides at the Presidents feet. Rosell’s are smelling right about now.

  8. Dani_el
    May 28, 2012

    Than you for the article guys! Isaiah, Linda, Kxevin and Blitz, excellent reads.

    Papers are creating much noise about Thiago Silva and Bale, I do hope that Javi Martinez and Jordi Alba come instead.

    Silly season for the next couple of months. This should be fun.

    • barca96
      May 29, 2012

      Which position do you want J. Martinez to play? He is like a jack of all trades to me. I like him a lot and would love us to sign him but he is better than average but not excellent at CB nor DM.

      Therefore how many games can he play at DM or CB? I don’t think he would settle for limited matches.

      For DM we have Keita as a back-up.

      I prefer to get a CB specialist who has pace and preferably left footed so that he can play LB as well.

  9. Kimcelona
    May 28, 2012

    I thought Pedrito was honoring Abi?
    Why would he be putting up a sign for Shakira?

    Or am I just slow and you were being sarcastic? :S

    Great blitzen awards! Is this THE final edition till August or will you be doing them for Euros? 🙂

    • mom4
      May 29, 2012

      I would hazard a guess that she is being sarcastic. I’m 99.9% sure she is being sarcastic.

    • May 29, 2012

      I was being silly. I’m pretty much always silly. 😀

      I may consider doing a few awards for the Euros, but it depends on how the games are, really.

  10. Clouseau
    May 29, 2012

    Wonderful blitzen!Love your Blitzenawards since it embellish my workday.

    What a Pic that is!Dat Pedrazo..pretty suitable for the new number 7 of the furia roja 😉
    Was happy for him that he made it to the squad i’m pretty sure VDB confidence in him will pay off.He is simply a man of the big Game may look average at first sight but is truly special.

    I enjoyed that Futsalfriendly and i thought it was a full success. Maybe the Club should made that a Tradition.Starting the Season with the Trofeo Gamper and Ending it with Futsal.

    Now eager to wait for the Euros.

  11. mom4
    May 29, 2012

    Nice blitzen awards. But I’ve noticed that Messi seldom gets one. I guess not only has everyone run out of adjectives for the man but also ideas for awards.

    That futsal game was a blast. Made we wonder about the relative quality of futsal v football players and whether or not they’d be interchangeable with some training (I’m guessing that football to futsal would be easier).

    • May 29, 2012

      Leo is the permanent holder of the Lionel Messi Award For Being Lionel Messi and the Messi Is Not A Chair Award. He is also permanently excluded from the MOTMOTM and MOTMOTMOI awards. He doesn’t get a lot of other awards because I’ve pretty much run out of superlatives for him and he doesn’t make silly mistakes or do other entertaining things. And he wouldn’t have space in his trophy room for them anyway.

  12. May 29, 2012

    Sporting have a deal with B player Carlos Carmona (24), whose contract expires although Barcelona can renew it by promoting him [sport rtpa]

    Please let this be true, please let this be true…..

    • Ezequiel
      May 29, 2012

      even better news for you:

      “Second division clubs Las Palmas, Elche and Hercules are interested in B centre back Armando (27), who is expected to leave. [sport]”

  13. Gogah
    May 29, 2012

    Even I was wondering about those cheesy songs which seem to be a favorite at the camp nou. Are people in Catalunya really that fond of all that shit, or were the players a tad embarrassed to be rocking to ‘we are the champions’ and ‘tonit’s gonna be a good night’? dunno..can’t tell.

    Speaking of ‘can’t tell’, how many people here believe that messi will improve his absurd numbers next year? We all thought 53 was pretty mad, but then he popped up with 73, breaking a 80 year record.. the problem is that while 70+ goals is an incredible reflection of the individual’s quality it is also an obvious reflection of the other forwards’ deficiency, which Tito will surely aim to fix.

    • Messiah10
      May 29, 2012


      I would be happy with Messi scoring 30 goals and providing his usual assists if that meant us winning Liga. Messi doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone anymore! 73 is crazy stupid. Just typing that number makes me shake my head. I think EE took the Liga back b/c they had a more balanced front line this year. Losing Villa at CWC really hurt us. Also, Pedro being hurt and not getting minutes to find form hurt us. EE didn’t really have any major injuries to their front line. Heck, Higuain didn’t even start the whole season and ended up with 25+ goals. I think Pedro will be Pedro! of old next season and Messi will be Messi(40+ goals) and hopefully Villa will score at least 20. That with Cesc hopefully fully integrated adding 15(?) and Iniesta giving us 10 should be enough. Obviously, if we sign a few players tactics and objectives could change. Tito will have a plan and I look forward to seeing it! Visca Barca!

  14. May 29, 2012

    Official: Isaac Cuenca will on Thursday undergo surgery on his right knee (@barcastuff)

    Another one down. I suppose this means he won’t get called up to the Olympics squad.

    • Messiah10
      May 29, 2012

      – Real Madrid fan Alejandro feels that the new situation will lead to a change in fortunes for his club.

      “The departure of Guardiola signals the end of an era. Now is the time of Real Madrid again. The pressure will kill [new Barcelona coach, Tito] Vilanova.”

      LMAO. I can’t wait for his bubble to be burst. Tito crack? Right. Tito is just as measured as Pep and probably more reserved. Sure he’ll be under pressure. Any coach would. I hardly think it’ll kill him though. Pep wouldn’t have recommended Tito is he didn’t think he could handle it. Alejandro, welcome to the TITO ERA!

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