Liga Preview: Barcelona-Real Sociedad, Saturday 4pm ET,
They’re talking about refs, lots of draws, and the possibility of Guardiola not renewing. None of this concerns me. None of this is remotely interesting. Real Sociedad is playing at the Camp Nou this weekend? Okay, then. We’ll focus on that for 2 hours Saturday afternoon. We’ll purchase Gareth Bale in the summer, Iniesta will recover from his injuries and score the greatest goal known to man when he jumps 50 feet in the air and doesn’t a double somersault flying chilena from his own box. Guardiola will renew. These things are written in stone.
The powers that be can’t keep a good man down. First Guardiola screams about how you can dry out the pitch all you want but Captain Caveman will swing in on his Tarzan vine and decimate your careful planning. Then he takes his kids to a basketball game. My friend CJ and I discussed it:
CJ: His son has blaugrana glasses.
Me: He’ll obviously grow up to revolutionize glasses-wearing: triangular lenses.
CJ: You know about las fallas in Valencia, right? The sculptures they burn? Well, they made one of the Mou finger in Tito’s eye scene.
Me: So Pep Jr makes eye glasses in triangular fashion, with WM logos all over them mothers, and they protect you from eye-gouging Portugeezers. You can’t talk about revolutionary glasses without mentioning Wahin Makinaciones.
CJ: We should send that idea Pinto along with my request for pictures of the Míster in them. They’d make bank.
Me: Tag line of “look, offer, receive focus.”
CJ: And not get injured.
Me: Abidal renewed! Do we have to do a carbomb for that?
CJ: I’m thinking of making carbomb brownies or lemon bars. That would count.
Me: Why the dildo would we eat lemon bars to celebrate Abidal’s renewal?
CJ: No, I’m asking what dessert I make.
Me: CARBOMB BROWNIES
CJ: We haven’t talked about Sociedad
me: What is there to say about Sociedad? Pep’s kid’s plans for glasses affect us both far more.
CJ: I THOUGHT THIS WAS A SERIOUS BLOG
Ahem. I don’t know what led CJ to believe that, but she’ll figure it out soon enough. She’s a smart lemon bar. The rest of you have already figured out that Sociedad is somewhat of an afterthought for me at this point. It’s not that I don’t respect them as a team because I very much do, but there’s sensory overload going on right now. Games seem to happen every 13 minutes.
La Real is rolling with: Bravo, Ramírez, Carlos Martínez, Dani Estrada, Demidov, Mikel, Ansotegi, Iñigo Martínez, Cadamuro, Xabi Prieto, Aranburu, Markel, Ros, Pardo, Griezmann, Vela, Ifrán, Llorente, Agirretxe
Barça will respond with all the available first teamers plus Tello, JDS, and Sergi Roberto.
Offical prediction: 2-0, goals by Messi.
See, what’s to worry about? I’m also going to predict that Getafe steals a controversial point this weekend. Fun!