CL Preview: Barcelona – BATE Borisov, Tuesday 2:45pm ET, Fox Deportes
It’s the return of BATE Borisov and the kind of game that Barça often loses because we start players you’ve never heard of or have forgotten. Like Fontas, who is somehow in both of those categories. I’m trying to sell him in FIFA and no one wants to buy him even though he’s actually pretty good. That kind of player. See, there’s this little matter of the group stage being completely meaningless to the team now as well as some kind of game happening this weekend that is vaguely important or involves something people care about.
So yeah, something something blah blah, Borisov this, Belarus that, Hleb everything. Ugh, I don’t care.
I really don’t.
Did you think I was kidding so you kept reading, thinking I was going to talk about their captain, Dzmitry Likhtarovich, and some sort of awesome personal story of triumph that ends with him getting 18 goals shuttled past him by midgets in red in blue? Well, I’m not. Because as awesome as Dzmitry Likhtarovich’s first name is (Dzmitry!), I don’t know anything about him–
Screw it. There’s no way I can avoid it:
Occupy Bernabeu? I’m with it, especially the part where everyone chants “Tell me what manitocracy looks like. This is what manitocracy looks like!”
You know what else I’m with? Sideline Xavi:
Yes. In. Deed.
Official Prediction: some number to some other number. I seriously don’t give a crap it is clásico week, get it through your thick skull. And yeah, Villa scores or something. Maybe Cuenca? Rivaldo? Who even plays for us? I don’t know! But don’t worry, we’ll have a liveblog for you and probably some tweeting that will make your head spin. Or at least shake back and forth vigorously.