Oh hey there. Didn’t see you sneak up on me like that. You’re so crazy. Here I am minding my own business and suddenly you pop up, pants me, and make me abandon my family, loved ones, and bathing habits. Way to go, guy. Oh, you’re La Liga, right. Way to go, lady.

Every year La Liga starts and then goes on FIFA break, so this year I planned in both that and my own laziness in the matter and decided not to publish a preview until after the transfer window closed. Thank goodness I did. Also, before we get this started, can we all chuckle quietly to ourselves about this? I mean, sure, I’m lucky to follow a big club that can discard international players on a whim (and for peanuts!) but seriously, I actually laughed when I read that. It’s not Arun Verma’s fault that he’s excited about Birmingham City’s chances–and indeed they look like they made some pretty solid moves–but I’m sorry, that made me chuckle.

Okay, so, then, my approach this year was to go alphabetically rather than by how I thought they would end up. You’ll learn to deal with it by the end. This is only part 1, so I’m going from Almeria down to Getafe. Let’s get it started, shall we? There may be one or two incorrect transfers

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What were you thinking?

Before I get down to brass tacks tomorrow with the first installment of my full on La Liga preview (I had to wait for the end of the transfer window…or at least that’s my excuse), there is news afoot in Catalunya that’s worth discussing. First and foremost, Carles Puyol, our beloved captain, injured his left calf in Spanish national team training on Tuesday. I’m not sure if the injury actually occurred during warm-ups for the Racing match, but regardless, it seems rather irresponsible that he then went to full training with the national team. It’s both Puyol and the medical staff’s fault for not keeping him out when he was obviously not 100%. There’s no official word on a timetable for his return, but 3 weeks is the going rate for such an injury, unless it’s less severe than previously thought.

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So, then, we’ve shipped out SuperMartin Caceres to Sevilla on loan with an option to buy at the end of the season and we’ve also sent Alexander Hleb to Birmingham City. Then we re-upped Seydou Keita until 2014 and increased his buyout clause from €90m to €100m…because there was a chance someone was going to buy him for €90m and we were worried about that? Is there something I don’t understand about these buyout clauses?

I said I would do it if Ibra left this summer and so I shall: I will be writing here under the name Queen Elizabeth until the end of September. You know what that feels like? Birmingham City will soon:

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Well that was an absolutely dreadful weekend of transfer news, culminating in the proverbial and yet somehow literal kick in the crotch that was Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s odd loan + buy option for next year at €24M the following term. In its wake, enough e-ink has been spilt over the transfer saga to drown even the most epic of football or FC Barcelona fans. Predictably, much hand-wringing has been made about the financial bath that the Blaugrana took from this mess, and rightly so. This was an unmitigated financial disaster that is going to cause us a fair amount of monetary distress, not to mention the problems if Zlatan is injured during the season and Milan balks at the purchase, but also making everyone involved in the deal look very very bad. Truly this was another of Pep’s phyrric victories, his scorched earth policy that consumes all who get on his bad side and all agents who would deign to deride his managerial style. However, should we, as Barça supporters be so down about this as to become fed up with everything and start laying blame everywhere, even when it may not be so deserved? Maybe we can brave this one with a little humor, a level head, and the man with the knowledge on La Liga at the Guardian Sid Lowe, whose excellent article provides all the quotes below.

In happier times...

Javier Mascherano has been officially presented by Barça today at the Camp Nou. He’ll wear the #14, replacing Thierry Henry in that number. He signed a 4-year deal with a salary reported to be €5m a year.

Some details: Javier Alejandro Mascherano, 26 years old, is listed at 5’8 1/2″ (174cm). He started his career at River Plate in Argentina in 2003 at the age of 19. He then moved to Brazilian side Corinthians in 2005. It was his transfer from there to West Ham in 2006 that ended up costing the Hammers 5.5m GBP in fines due to illegal signings, even after he’d moved on to Liverpool in 2007.

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Boy, does it feel good to get back to doing what we do best, and that’s kicking ass and taking names. We rolled into Racing with a lot of questions swirling around the side, questions capable of distracting a lesser team. But no less than 3 minutes into the match, the Xavi-Iniesta-Messi combination had our Man of the Match off to the races again, to see if he can top last season’s gaudy goal total.

And suddenly, it was all like it used to be.
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It’s here, and we’re ready. So get all that negativity out of your systems. Because we’re on, and our club needs the positive karma.

Commenter IS summed up the transaction a lot better than I could have, so I’ll reprint it here, so that we can all have a giggle:

Galliani: “How much for the big guy?”
Rosell: “70”
Galliani: “Last price?”
Rosell: “50”
Galliani: “I’ll give you 5”
Rosell: “No, last price 45, and like that I’m already losing compared to how much he cost me”
Galliani: “I can go up to 10, but that’s it”
Rosell: ” Ummm …. No? 40?”
(Galliani walks away)
(Rosell chases him with ‘the big guy’ in his hand and shoves ‘it’ in his hand)
Rosell: “Ok, ok, 30 — but just for you!”
Galliani: “25”
(Galliani waves the cash infront of Rosell)
(Rosell’s eyes widen and sparkle as he starts dreaming of all he can do with the monies — but then reverts to a a big frown)
Rosell: “Fine, 25, here you go…”
(Rosell hands over ‘the big guy’ and takes the money and counts it)
Rosell: “Mister, Mister! There’s only 24 here!!”
Galliani: “Sorry, that’s all I had on me”
Rosell: “Oh, ok… well.. please come again and I make you another great deal. Oh… and tell your friends!!”

Photo by Denis Doyle/Getty Images Europe

So this is the new year? Yes, yes it is. And isn’t it about damn time we get down to some La Liga games? As far as benedictions go, this is a good one. On Sunday, FC Barcelona begins its 80th La Liga campaign and another league championship title defense at Racing Santander. For a squad that many are predicting will win its 21st league title this year, Barcelona certainly faces a number of questions ranging from the starting front line to depth concern and the prospect of youth and young manhood taking over in the midfield. Then again, the club also sports the greatest amount of talent in the league, and likely of any club in the world. So… let’s preview shall we? Continue Reading

I don’t have much to say about this one, yet. At least not any depth. Numbers aren’t available yet, but AC Milan and FC Barcelona have agreed to a one-year loan deal with an obligation to purchase at a number in the neighborhood of 40 million Euros.

I’m a little sad right now, not for the player and his gargantuan potential and never seeing it again in FCB colors, but for the way that this all transpired. In just a season, the man we labeled BANGS went from tens of thousands of fans swooning over him at the Camp Nou, to not good enough, to gone. And it was a mess. A big, fat mess that should have been handled better, irrespective of whose ultimate responsibility it was.

And the reputation of our club is a little …. no, a lot tarnished. At present, it is unknown whether we are going to replace him, or soldier on with what we have. While we’re figuring it all out, here’s a tip-top compilation of all of the goals of BANGS from this past season.